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atomicapples

help~!~!!~

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ok...

here it goes...

i have a friend named j*****e, who i known since high school, we went to princeton review together... we talk on off... we friends, but dont really talk about.. but i care about the person alot...

anyways...

she is now pregnant, somewhere from 3-4 months now.. so she is showing... ( its not mine ) her ex boyfriend got her pregnant, and she is being very childish about it and not thinking like a grown up... she dont want it, but she is not doing anything about it... what should i do, to convince her to do the right thing...

please help.. i dont have much time....

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it doesnt matter what you do... it matters what she does... if shes not taking responsibility over it.. then you need to have her realise how much of a great deal this really is... try talking to her about it... then see where it goes from there... with matters of this caliber there is no set protocol... you just have to play it by heart...

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Make sure she knows that:

1) if she wants an abortion, she should do it soon 'cause the later the abortion, the harder it is to get over, they really are little babies (reallly little but still formed) after like 5 to 6 months. My grandfather was an OB/GYN and he would not perform late 2nd or any 3rd trimester abortions because he just couldn't handle it - they sometimes cry, it's not like a mass of cells anymore. That should creep her out if she's planning abortion.

2) If she is planning to have the baby and does not want the responsibility and/or knows she's not gonna make the commitment to it, give her the #'s and locations of several adoption centers (also web sites are great cause she can peruse without feeling pressured) and make sure she knows that she can give her baby to someone who's really gonna care about it.

Hope that helps!

PS - if she plans to keep the baby or carry it to term, make sure she gets prenatal care (send her to www.plannedparenthood.org for more info and help if she can't afford it) because it's really important both for her health and the baby's!

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Maybe you should consider explaining to her the amount of time and energy and effort needed to be a parent. Ask her whether or not she would want the best for her child as any mother should. Then help her to explore the options that vixenfoxxy noted. Good luck!

:hat:

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the money part... i decided to be a good friend and pick up the tab.... whatever cost it is... her life and future is more important to me as a friend... i dont want to see her in a fucked up siutuation...

i dont want to seem like i nag her all the time... the more i do, the mor i push her away...

i was talking to marci about it... and she told me she has till 6 months.. thats kinda scarey... but maybe with some complications...

i was thinking of making the appointment for her to that obyobmaygqrs guy for her... maybe it would be a start.. so then she can wake up and do something about it...

but im scared~!!~!~ im scared that she would be like... why do you care soo much about this thing... blahj blah blah.. and then break out...

one thing i got to say is she got to wake up and think like a grownup and not like some immature girl...

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Originally posted by atomicapples

but im scared~!!~!~ im scared that she would be like... why do you care soo much about this thing... blahj blah blah.. and then break out...

Don't be a wuss! You're going to be scared when there are lives involved in this? Be bold and maybe if it helps you, think about the unborn baby. And if she asks you why you care so much then tell her that you don't want to see her mess up her life and tell her you have a soft spot for kids or something.

:hat:

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Just like I'm beginning to realize with my situation with my girl, you have to realize that no matter what you say or what you do, if she wants to do something or act a certain way, she's going to do it regardless of what you say.

My suggestion to you is to tell her exactly how you feel about the whole situation and then LEAVE IT ALONE (what I should've done). I'm beginning to do that now. Yeah, it really hurts when I still worry constantly about what my girl is doing, who she's with, where she is, etc., but I'm beginning to realize that all that worrying isn't gonna get me anywhere. I'm just gonna ruin my life by worrying about hers.

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Originally posted by atomicapples

the money part... i decided to be a good friend and pick up the tab.... whatever cost it is... her life and future is more important to me as a friend... i dont want to see her in a fucked up siutuation...

i dont want to seem like i nag her all the time... the more i do, the mor i push her away...

i was talking to marci about it... and she told me she has till 6 months.. thats kinda scarey... but maybe with some complications...

i was thinking of making the appointment for her to that obyobmaygqrs guy for her... maybe it would be a start.. so then she can wake up and do something about it...

but im scared~!!~!~ im scared that she would be like... why do you care soo much about this thing... blahj blah blah.. and then break out...

one thing i got to say is she got to wake up and think like a grownup and not like some immature girl...

where is the boyfriend? or exboyfriend??? its not your responsibility... why do you have to always clean up everyone else mess???

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Originally posted by atomicapples

he dont know about it... shes very angry with him and dont want to see him nor want to talk to him...

I kinda agree w/ Mr. Brigante up there....but I know how hard it is when you're just kind of "thrown" into the situation...

being there for a friend who is terminating a pregnancy is probably the worst, and hardest thing I have ever been through....I don't wish that situation on anyone, even if they were careless or immature about their choices....

I gave you my advice last night dickersmacker....you can only do so much, and then the rest is up to her....you're not superman.

*smooch*

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Ditto to what Vixen said... That's really messed up, if she wants an abortion she should get it done as soon as humanly possible... it'll be easier both physically and mentally on her... She really need to wake the fuck up because it's not just her own life anymore.

Good luck Apples.

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