gothzane
-
Posts
2,566 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Gallery
Events
Posts posted by gothzane
-
-
Pick on someone your own size!
(wait...im kida tall)
*uses his chainsaw to cut off his legs at the knee*
okay...better..now where were we?
okay..who wants some?
*waves around his bloody chainsaw*
-
Hey dave..if we buy tickets from you...can we pick them up beforehand somewhere?
Thanks
-
Hey dave..if we buy tickets from you...can we pick them up beforehand somewhere?
Thanks
-
Im not going to watch it...
but now im in the mood to make an amature video...
maybe I can convince my lady friend..
well wear masks or something...
yeah...
*ponders*
-
Im super! Thanks for asking... *frollics away*
-
Confession
in Sex
ever wake up and shes wearing yours and your wearing hers...isnt that freaky?
-
And yet your wood didnt force you against your free will to purchase her entire collection?....or did it?
I do have to shamefully admit to falling for that trap with Fiona Apple's Criminal Cd....but i was shocked when the music was just as sexy
Originally posted by phuturephunk. . . All I know is . . when I saw her (Mariah) in that video with all those cutesy outfits on . . . I popped wood on the spot . . .
-
Adult link
in Sex
Find a woman or three...or a man..or goat or something ...then apply positions as shown.
Originally posted by gabotoo much porn!! i dont know what to do with myself!!
-
Adult link
in Sex
-
I looked...I think shes just a model..
Ill investigate further...
Originally posted by slim007Goth . . .i finally figured out how to get the red x's to work . . we need MORE ANETTA . . .i have never seen her before . . .does she do movies also???
-
I still want my old school lincoln town car with monster wheels.
-
Adult link
in Sex
-
-
-
-
As per request...more Anetta Keys
-
porn is very sneaky...if you havent visted the page you have to right click the red X...copy the addy into your address bar to view the pic...then click your back button...and boom...you can see it from there on in.....I think thatll work =P
having a cable modem also helps.
-
Originally posted by sassa
If you are a man...
Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
"By the way Bob....nice ass."
"Why thank you sir....I go to the gym you know."
Your orgasms are real. Always.
"Are you faking it?"
"Uhh no? like...Ooo Ahhh or something?"
"Let me see it then?"
"Errr see what?
"the stuff!"
"the stuff....uuuh Ill be right back.."
"what ...what is this? handsoap?"
"No honey..its my love you for...honest..."
Your last name stays put.
Took me all these years to memorize it...be damned if i have to go through that again...Woman! your new name is....Woman Johnson...now get in the kitchen and cook me a pie!
The garage is all yours.
Read Sign "This room is prohibited by creatures that bleed for a week and dont die."
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
"Will there be beer?...and do we HAVE to invite your parents?"
You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
"Dude you want a piece of this?"
"But shes your wife bob?"
"What are you some kind o' queer Jim?"
"No but its just...you just got married yesterday."
"So?"
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
"Can you fix it?"
"Well its going to cost $125"
"Fuck it then...."
"Okay Okay....$25 and ill throw in an air frenshner..."
"Bitchen!"
You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
"Nice haircut Bob."
"huh?"
Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
"Hot what?"
"Your gonna put that where?"
"Are you some kinda moron?"
Same work .. more pay.
"Cool ...hawiain shit day!"
Wrinkles add character.
"Hey Jim...check out this cool scar!"
"Its a wrinkle Bob."
"So what..chicks still dig it."
You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
"Pardon me a sec Jim...theeere...much better"
Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
"$100 for a tux....are you insane...im sure Jim has a suit I can borrow or somethin"
If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
"Water...no no no...BEER!"
People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
"Hey bob?"
"Yeah Jim?"
"You have some bigass mantits"
"Why thank you Jim."
"Your welcome Bob."
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
"Whats a shoe? If it isnt a boot...its not going on my foot."
One mood, ALL the damn time.
"Yep.."
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.
*ring*
"Hey Bob.."
"Jim"
"How goes?"
"Fine fine..."
"Wife?"
"Fine"
"Kids?"
"Fine"
"Want to get something to eat?"
"Sure..cmon down"
"Alright"
"Alright"
*click*
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
swimming trucks...check...razor...check...calogne..check
towel...check....porno...check...nachos...check...beer...check check and check....lets go!
You can open all your own jars.
*flexes*
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
"I brought you flowers....you want to do what to me now...OKAY!"
Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
"Damn silk boxers cost as much as my car insurance."
If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
"If im 34 and single I must be one secretive pimp"
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
"You drive like old people fuck....slow and sloppy."
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
"Boots, bowling shoes..and my slippers...what else?"
You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."
"Jim want a beer?"
"No thanks Bob?"
"Err...what that bitch do this time?"
No maxi-pads.
"What hun? You want me to go and buy you what? Ha ha ha ha....your funny...what? couch?.....damnit....okay ill go get your damn pad things."
If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
"DUDE!"
You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
"Black..grey..blue..ummm...grey?"
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
"heh heh..screw....heh heh heh"
You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.
*sniffs* "Yep...this shirts clean"
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
"You mean im supposed to stlye and iand just not let it all flop around on my head?"
*ruffles hair*
"Better?"
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
"Hey Joe..."
"Yeah Bob?"
"Do these pants make my butt look big?"
"No Bob...its just that you have a fat can."
"Oh okay Joe...I was worried there for a second."
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
"Huh?..damn it woman...my greatgrandfather gave me this belt
when I was 6..."
You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
"Gah...aww fuck it I have nine others..."
Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in minutes.
"Porn for joe...Beer for jim...new pots and pans for the wife...not like shell use em anyways...heh heh heh."
The world is your urinal.
*pees on your shoe*
"sorry about that...just marking my territory*
-
I love being a guy!
-
Hey lady...
you stole my heart and my friend
Hey baby....
why cant we just pretend?
That yesterday never happened
We slept that day through
Yeah yesterday never happend
Thats what we can do....
For tomorrow with the sun...
Will bring the clouds and the rain
When tomorrow begins
So does the pain...
So hurry up honey
todays moving so fast
give me an answer
why this love in me lasts
Can we move on togeather?
or do we end in sorrow...
Can we still be togeather?
Can you love me tomorrow?
So what do you say?
Im willing to forgive...
please baby
deny yesterday
please baby
forget....yesterday.
oh someone f'ing shoot me...i just wrote a country song...
-
Its both in my opinion...you have to earn it and work for it.
its a constent goal that you have to strive for....its almost a religion...a mantra...and if you blink for a little too long youll lose sight of it.
Happyness is a way of thinking
"Will I ever be happy?" "No! Your too busy being miserable!"
My theory is that all you need to do...to live your life in happyness...is to tell your mind to shut the fuck up and let yourself enjoy the moment.
-
someplace quiet with alot of tasty food.
-
posting = evil
evil = good
good = bad
bad = fun
fun = no work
no work = no money
no money = poor ass mofo
you can see where im going with this....
-
So after some consideration I made another apointment for my firms life insurance agent....and once the agent found out I was the one with the apointment....she practicly ran away screaming (a few months ago I drove this poor woman batty with screwy questions) So she sends me a new novice agent....
This woman was great...she had ME batty with screwy questions!
So for $20 smackers a month....My benefactors get *puts pinky to his mouth like Austin Powers* 2 million dollars!
pretty cool eh?
Get this...after two years...I can off myself and my benefactors still recieve the full policy...isnt that fucked up?
but death is expensive....funerals cost major bucks..and the way some of you freaks party....might as well help your family out a little when you travel to the big disco rave in the sky...or the bitchen S&M orgy down below.
Wouldya look at that...
in Sex
Posted
I like the themes these three chose to dress as...
Shakira was thinking...well...Ill dress like a rocker to portray my origin.
Mary J was thinking...ill go with the african theme to support my hertiage and the raw power of my culture.
and little brintey wasnt thinking because she cant...so her agent said "fuck it...just dress her up as a slut like usual...the boys will love it."