jaleousy

nope, I will try to calm down complitely and than try to continue as used to do before, without any sudden actions.

Yes, that would be almost exactly what I think about my "situation" now after I get my head cool down, I mean I am just pissed off why I was so passive with her when I had her time. Also the main problem is tiem that I don't have, the job I do is what I chose and I don't want to complain about it too much but I am aware it made some demage already to my personal life (not just this "girlfriend" problem"). > also note for barstar > if I want to search for another bitch I would never felt what I did last couple of days, I mean find a bitch to score is like you go in grocery store and buy 1 pound of apples, what I experinced was different and I can'r only swich of some button and start hunting bitches as you said.

pffft , lame

Yes you absolutely right, I was damn moron, I desirved everybody make laugh on me. I wasn't affraid to get hurt, it is only that I was like that beofre and never fall in love, I have many girls left as frineds after few week of "adventure" but this time mostly because of my job (whole week 12 hours average) I dedicate not much time to her and I fucked it up bad. No w I am listen everyday how that new guy is great and how carefull he is to her etc etc. that makes me puke but I handle it just to stay in any kind of connection with her. And now if I say what I really feel to her I am affraid to look like total ass:/

"ne kužim koja je poanta tvog vrijeđanja mene?"

well, croatian is my first language, and I notice that my writing was problem to others so might mod or admin can delete my post cause it seems no use for me if You only make fun with me and I have problem.

well I even picked jaleousy for my nickname:/ first I appolgize in advance for my poor english which is not my first language. I just felt need to say something about this subject and maybe some of answers help me to get over it. Huh, so there it is, I am 27 years old man, I used to have lot of girlfriends but never soem serious relationship, I find very hard to trust to other people so I need time to meet them well and unfortunately that time is too long for other side that always think I am cold blood and without emotions which I actualy don't show (I always keep it in myself) and everybody that knows me think I am just guy like that (sort of tough guy), but they don't know me. I find myself very emotinaly but hardly I express it. And than at the and of day I feel lonely. I get used on that and never actualy have big personal problems until few days ago..... I meet one girl over big network meeting channel, we exchanged photos and phone numbers so we find out that we are attractive to each other. After couple of weeks we met each other as well and start to hangin' out and finnaly start to slep together. But than I get unexpected bussines trips and I was away 30 days, in that period I recived many sms-messagges from her but almost never respond because I get into some problems on that trip I mentioned (anyway I know I was total moron because of it). when I get back I felt hers disappointment, but I ignored it and contiunue to talk as always and never try to get on some higher level of relationship with her no metter I knew she was crashed in me. Again I was away for some time and I felt she starts to cold down on me and suddanly she met somebody else, somebody else who start to show great attention to her , to take care to her, to make dinner for her, to dedicate almost all time only for her and I said "ogg that is great I am so happy cause you finnaly found someone who cares who loves you etc...., I also asked about how he make her happy and after I hear all I saw that I never can't be like that and in some moment I was hit so hard, so badly with JALEOUSY. what a damn idiot I was, I askin' myself all the time..... I never felt anything similar in my life, I can't think , I can't work, I can't breath like before, I feel great pain inside and this is first time I tell that to someone cause I feel shame to share those feeling with people i know in real life. All I do last couple of days is listening songs like "Paul Weller - Wishing on the star, Marc Anthony - You sang to me, Shola Ama - You might need somebody, Lenny Kravitz - I belong to You, Barry White..."" and similar, while I listen those songs my eyes get wet and I am very sad in the moment but I listen again and again and again. I can't stop blaming myself for what a damn idiot I was, and why I start to think so deep only after damage is done. .....there is some other pathetic question I would like to ask but first I want to hear any of comment from people here what You think that might could help me to feel better. one more time sorry for my poor english.