Basic Rules

[laurie619]

For Driving In New Jersey... THis is SO TRUE had to SHARE...

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real New Jersey

driver never uses them.

2. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance

between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by

somebody else putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane change is

considered going with the flow.

4. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.

5. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one

expects it and it will inevitably result in you being rear-ended. If you want your insurance company to pay for a new rear bumper, come to a complete stop at all stop signs.

6. A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how

many people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in

the left lane waiting for the same jerks to squeeze their way back in before hitting the orange construction barrels.

7. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive

bodywork.New Jersey is a no-fault insurance state and the other guy doesn't

have anything to lose.

8. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure

that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the

brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to

stretch your legs.

9. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a

good way to scare people entering the highway.

10. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions

and are apparently not enforceable in New Jersey during rush hour.

11. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to

speed up or move over doesn't mean that a New Jersey driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

12. Please remember that there is no such thing as a shortcut

during rush-hour traffic in New Jersey.

13. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire.

14. Learn to swerve abruptly. New Jersey is the home of

high-speed slalom driving thanks to the State Highway Department, which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.

15. It is traditional in New Jersey to honk your horn at cars

that don't move the instant the light changes.

16. Never take a green light at face value. Always look right and

left before proceeding.

17. Remember that the goal of every New Jersey driver is to get

there first, by whatever means necessary.

18. Real New Jersey women drivers can put on pantyhose and apply eye makeup at seventy-five miles per hour in bumper-to-bumper traffic.

19. Real New Jersey men drivers can remove their girlfriend's

panties and bra at seventy-five miles per hour or in bumper-to-bumper

traffic.

20. In the New Jersey area 'flipping someone the bird' is

considered a polite New Jersey salute. This gesture should always be returned.

[dibs]

:laugh: These are so true, I could relate to these: :laugh:

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real New Jersey

driver never uses them.

2. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance

between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

9. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a

good way to scare people entering the highway.

10. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions

and are apparently not enforceable in New Jersey during rush hour.

17. Remember that the goal of every New Jersey driver is to get

there first, by whatever means necessary

18. Real New Jersey women drivers can put on pantyhose and apply eye makeup at seventy-five miles per hour in bumper-to-bumper traffic.

[tommyarmani]

4. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit

i agree with that one 100%

[lesdig]

Those are so funny and sooo true...I particularly agree with # 2, 4, and 6 (Eventhough im guilty of this one myself)

[cgm]

I always do #12, and then always end up getting lost. This past Friday I exited the Parkway and ended up getting lost in East Orange. That was fun!