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Yesterday, the Ninth U.S. Circuit of Appeals, in a 2-1 ruling, declared

the pledge unconstitutional because of its use of the words "under God,"

which, because they introduce the concept of a state-sponsored supreme

being into a publicly-funded institution, thus being a violation of

church-state separation. It is an important victory for atheists, who need

all the wins they can get in this life since it is straight to hell for

them in death.

Conservatives were torn between outrage at the decision, and elation at

having something so "totally sweet" to be outraged about.

The case was brought by Michael A. Newdow, a Sacramento atheist who

objected because his second-grade daughter was required to recite the

pledge at school. As for his daughter, she doesn't really know what

"allegiance" means, and more importantly, wants to know what exactly is

the "frog of the united cakes of hysteria"?

Newdow's case may be most significant in that it teaches all young

Americans an important lesson, that although our nation was built on

principles of civic pride, patriotism and tradition, and although these

two little words have stood for half a century and weathered numerous

challenges from concerned members of the fringe, all it takes is one

determined idiot to change history.

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