Jump to content
Clubplanet Nightlife Community

Stockmarket Lingo...


Recommended Posts

STOCK MARKET LINGO

BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake

himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance, the

wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

MOMENTUM INVESTING -- The fine art of buying high and selling low.

VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market

keeps crashing.

BROKER -- What my broker has made me. ( my favorite) something one of my clients would say

STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally

between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy who actually remembers his wallet when he runs

to the 7-11 for toilet paper and cigarettes.

MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the

toilet.

YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per

share.

WINDOWS 2000 -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker that bought

Yahoo @ $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a

nuthouse.

PROFIT -- Religious guy who talks to God.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...