weyes' wisdom of the day - 7/30

[weyes]

damn, y'all, cp was down last night. i tried my best to put up the column, but it was out for several hours. was i the only one who had to endure such hardship ? anyway, here's today's:

don't require or expect apologies from people in order to move forward with your relationships with them. if there are words that someone wouldn't naturally volunteer that both of you know would make a situation easier or better, then there is a bigger problem than the thing for which the apology is wanted.

tune in tomorrow.

[vicman]

yeah, it looks like cp was down all night yesterday, didnt come up until about 9am or so yesterday.

[georgym]

Sounds like good advice, but i don't quite understand it

Can u give an example using person A and person B?

Just call me a dunce :goofy:

[vicman]

i would say...

suppose ur A

person B messes up big time with you, you say, OK B lets forget all about it...but B never says anything, never gives you an apology, etc....the two of you wanna move fwd., but B cant spit it out...maybe B isnt being sincere, maybe B really thinks your a dork, maybe there is a bigger problem between A & B

would that be a good example?

then comes along person C, C says, A & B you both suck. A&B beat up C, C doesnt lik eit and brings D into the equation. D doesnt know A or B, but still wants to fight. ABCD go at it until copper E intervenes and FGHI back him up and arrest ABCD and take them in front of judge J......

[georgym]

Originally posted by vicman

i would say...

suppose ur A

person B messes up big time with you, you say, OK B lets forget all about it...but B never says anything, never gives you an apology, etc....the two of you wanna move fwd., but B cant spit it out...maybe B isnt being sincere, maybe B really thinks your a dork, maybe there is a bigger problem between A & B

would that be a good example?

then comes along person C, C says, A & B you both suck. A&B beat up C, C doesnt lik eit and brings D into the equation. D doesnt know A or B, but still wants to fight. ABCD go at it until copper E intervenes and FGHI back him up and arrest ABCD and take them in front of judge J......

Do you create soap opera's, vicman, cuz you sure got a hidden talent right there

OK, i think i get it. It's like when person A is expecting an apology from person B, but person B doesn't for whatever reason, it fux things up

something like this happened to me and smurfette. A while back, we were going together by car into this park. The park rangers asked where i lived, and i made up a lie, saying i lived there. They lat us through, but she got so upset that i told that little white lie.

She ended up demanding that i take her home, and i did. I was very upset that she got upset, and wanted to stay and talk, but she wanted nothing of the sort, and threatened to call the cops on me if i didn't leave.

Now (this was about 2 months ago) she has apologized for it, even though it's hard to apologize for something like that. SHould i accept it as her apology , or go on carrying a grudge?

[vicman]

i say accept her appology and move on. in the greater realms of things i think its no biggie, especially if the 2 of you have something good going on. someday the reverse might happen, when you get upset at something that to her is not important.

you told a white lie (which is bad...but its white) she got upset (there was a reason, but not to get THAT upset), she apologized.

if it wouldve been a more serious boo-boo then i would see the need of slowly and patiently thinking things over.

almost lunch, i wonder what i will have to eat today.....

[georgym]

Originally posted by vicman

almost lunch, i wonder what i will have to eat today.....

HEy, thankx a lot man ! Im feeling better already.

And she just came back from a 1-month study abroad in Italy, and the first person she called was none other than papa smurf Absence truly makes the heart grow fonder:D

Hmmm, i just had lunch, and it was delicious. Tuna Melt w/ cheese, lettuce and tomato

[weyes]

wow - so much to respond to in this thread ! the only question is, should i address it all in one post, like i normally would, or be a shameless postwhore, like some people we know , and do a post per thought? 'k, i'll just try to do it all in this one post. i hope you don't through it .

well, vic's explanation kinda confused me, and i think he may be talking about something different, but along the same lines and with the same general point. what i was talking about, specifically, is this:

person B has done something to hurt person A in some way or another. person A waits for an apology from person B, and it doesn't arrive, because person B doesn't realize s/he's done anything "wrong" or hurt person A. A then gets angry or sad and starts to resent B. my point is that, if B doesn't realize he's done something that really hurts A, that's the problem - not that s/he didn't apologize. it's not about magic words like "i'm sorry," it's about discussing problems.

well, gmc, as for your issue with smurfette, i'd say that i always believe in talking things out until things seem to come to a good resolution, or, at least, the best that can be achieved at that given time. and grudges don't do anybody any good.

and where did the term "white lie" come from? as a honky, i take offense .

[vicman]

in essence: its surprising what one can do by comunicating with other people, sometimes i feel we just do do enough of it.

[georgym]

Originally posted by vicman

in essence: its surprising what one can do by comunicating with other people, sometimes i feel we just do do enough of it.

i totally agree;)

Sometimes that communication is muffled, other times it's misunderstood. Im trying to get into the public relations field myself, so i'll try to do my part to better the world