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naomi1

By naomi1
in Miami

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What you consider acceptable "breaktime" each other activity?  

19 members have voted

  1. 1. What you consider acceptable "breaktime" each other activity?

    • Don't think any breaktime is needed.
      1
    • Don't think any breaktime is needed, since away from each other while at work
      1
    • Going to a club, bar or strip club to 7 am.
      4
    • Anything as long as they come home before day light.
      7
    • Movies or Dinner with friends.
      5

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naomi1 Newbie

naomi1

Posted
Posted

I am going to put this out there and see what the majority of the guys and gals think of this issue.

Today at work a few of us were talking about how men and women sometimes want to go out with the boys/girls. This "guys/girls night out" is celebrated at clubs, bars and strip clubs....what are some feelings about this issue....

I guess I should list a couple questions to make everyone analysis...

1. Should someone in a committed relationship go out into the wee hours of the night and party with friends?

1a. If so, will this person agree with the other doing the same?

2. Is true that a guy/girl will only want this when there is something wrong in the relationship?

3. Does some of these rules change when you live with someone?

4. What would you consider an okay break time activity from relationship?

*Just give you an idea what were some of the answers here in the law office. All the women hated the idea of their significant other going out to a club, bar or even a strip club. Most of them felt that once you become committed these activities should end. Only a 2 the 6 girls thought that it is okay for guy/girl to go out with friends to have dinner or even a movie. All the guys I spoke asked the same question thought it was okay for a guy to out with his friends and "party". But when the tables were turned it didn't seem as a good idea. Everyone did agreed that once in serious relationship everything changes.

If you all can help me with this because I am going to use the results of this on my research paper. thanks

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vicman Newbie

vicman

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1. Should someone in a committed relationship go out into the wee hours of the night and party with friends?

Yes. Friends are as important as being in a relationship. Friendships sometimes come from childhood, and serve as important means of social support in times of difficulty. Same issue could be brought with family, especially if one of the people involved is very close to his/her family (i.e. live in the same city, live with them, and still does alot of stuff with them).

This would mean, I could never hang out with my friends to see a football match, play dominoes, and talk smack...I woudl think twice about going to strip club etc., depending on what the situation is i.e, for a friends bachelor party? I would go. Because I wanted to go 'cos I have nothing better to do and I'm horny and my girl is outta town, probably not.

Friends are important, I think very few people would be able to live with out friends.

1a. If so, will this person agree with the other doing the same?

You have to. If you will still hang out with your friends, then the other has the right to do so also.

2. Is true that a guy/girl will only want this when there is something wrong in the relationship?

No. I have friends that are in serious relationships and live together and everything is going well, and they still hang out with their friends. I can say the same for my married friends. Trust is key in every relationship. Sometimes it takes time to develop it, and it might not be easy, but if you trust your gf/bf then they have all teh right to do so...as long as theye are not putting their buddies first and you second in their prioritylist.

3. Does some of these rules change when you live with someone?

Nope. Guys should still be able to have their buddies over for 8 hrs of Sunday football watching (maybe not get wasted) and gals should still be able to do whatever they do when they get together with their gal friends...macrame or somefink like that, i dunno :D

4. What would you consider an okay break time activity from relationship?

Guys: Going to a bar, playing dominoes, going to the beach, road trip, i dunno...

Gals: Tea, macrame, uh...., uh....., sewing.....uh......taking care of their other gal friends kids..i really have no idea, i guess as long as its legal its OK with me...yes even going to a strip club with their girlfriends if they choose to.... "you can see but not touch" same rule i would abide with

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naomi1 Newbie

naomi1

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Posted
Originally posted by vicman

btw, whats the research on?

Relationships and how people handle it such as: trust, going out, and their interactions with friends once a person is in a relationship. I am eventually going to narrow it down, to one area of relationships, but for now I am researching wider view. I will keep everyone posted once I am done in a few weeks.

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bbflux Newbie

bbflux

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Posted

Honestly, now. The minute that you need a "break" from your partner... it's time to move on. The times that Chris and I have gone out separately it's never been viewed, by either of us, as break time. I just got invited out for a drink or dinner by a friend or maybe he did or whatever. But a "break"? What for? That's ridiculous. You don't need "breaks" from the people you love. :)

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sunnyhost Newbie

sunnyhost

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I voted for the anything one.

I think that relationships with friends are just as important as those with ur bf/gf. What happens if you don't keep the friendship alive and something goes wrong w/your relationship? You'll probably feel so out of the loop when u go back to your pals. Sure, a true friend will always be there 4 you, but It gets a lil harder to keep the friendships strong if you never see ur friends and bond with them. It's different than just talking over the phone you know? I don't see anything wrong with guys night/girls nights as long as they aren't every weekend. (bc at that point friends r put above a bf or gf and I don't think it should be like that either) If they start being every weekend then it's probably bc there is something going on, either within the relationship itself or outside of it. If you trust your bf/gf....then let them go out and have their fun with their friends...it's needed/healthy IMO. If you can't trust your guy/girl to go out w/o you, then maybe you shouldn't be with them......

Anyways...I don't think guys will appreciate (us gals) getting 2gether and watching Sex and the City every Sunday evening as much as we do! lol

:tongue:

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bbflux Newbie

bbflux

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Hey, vicman's points are good ones. However, why call it a break? It shouldn't be an issue AT ALL in a strong relationship. The day I tell Chris... "honey, I need a break" we'll both know something's wrong. However, anyone who's ever seen us out knows that we're not attached at the hip and people who know us well know that neither of us has the other prohibited from outtings with friends. :) It's just not an issue. Ever.

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ravengirl Newbie

ravengirl

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Posted

i have total and utter faith in my boyfriend..........he can go out with his buddies and go to a strip club what ever! if he didnt want to be with me he could leave......but when it comes down to it he doesnt feel that i have that same right that i give him......if i go to a strip club i recive a phone call every hour.........on the hour....i cant just go out with my girlfriends......(he claims that its not safe) whatever..........! i will always view it this way- look dont touch.. have putonic friend......but dont touch!:love::D :D

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raverdoll Newbie

raverdoll

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Posted
Originally posted by bbflux

Honestly, now. The minute that you need a "break" from your partner... it's time to move on. The times that Chris and I have gone out separately it's never been viewed, by either of us, as break time. I just got invited out for a drink or dinner by a friend or maybe he did or whatever. But a "break"? What for? That's ridiculous. You don't need "breaks" from the people you love. :)

Couldn't have said it any better myself!

i am totally with Barbie on this one!;)

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