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dgmodel

rid'necks...

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1) Learnt that love of even y'uns enemy is o.k. in Sunday School.

2) Learnt that "mama said it was o.k." didn't mean daddy wouldn't whoop ya.

3) Learnt everything they were supposed to in school up until puberty, and then had to start teaching their own young'uns.

4) Learnt that if it made it to The Jerry Springer Show, it was probably wrong and likely involved someone they know, possibly from the next trailer over, hopefully not a relative.

5) Learnt that while incest may be best for fun, it's not the best for marriage and having babies, since the cousins/siblings/etc remember after doing it that they used to not like each other that much, and will have to still see each other in the future, no matter how embarrassed they might be, because they are RELATED. Oh, and the funny looking mentally defective kids aren't much fun at the tractor pulls either (the noise makes them jumpy).

6) Learnt that having a sense of humor is more fun than having a fist fight.

7) Learnt that pot (the kind you smoke) is more fun and less painful than pot (the one you might get hit with, or be expected to cook with).

8) Learnt that skeeters are NOT birds, no matter how big they git, or how many you can bag with bird shot.

9) Learnt that "gospel music" that somewhat white people (i.e. called white even though they have some Indian blood, and possibly black if you go far enough back) is not the same as "gospel music" that somewhat black (i.e. called black, even though they are brown generally because they also have some Indian and usually some white blood) listen to.

10) Learnt that the King James Bible was edited by said King for his own political goals, including not being under the Pope, so therefor the KJ Bible is NOT the definitive edition of what was written or spoken. For that you need the original Aramaic (the language Yeshua (aka "Jesus") spoke), Greek and Hebrew texts. Barring learning these languages, pick up "Rabbi Jesus," by Rev. Bruce Chilton.

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