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Resume f-ups

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How bad a mistake can you make on your resume? Here are some real-life examples:

- "My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable."

- "Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer science, curses in accounting."

- "Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store."

- "Personal: Married, 1992 Chevrolet."

- "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."

- "I am a rabid typist."

- "Created a new market for pigs by processing, advertising and selling a gourmet pig mail order service on the side."

- "Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not appropriate for business."

- "Proven ability to track down and correct erors."

- "Personal interests: Donating blood. 15 gallons so far."

- "I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely nothing and absolutely no one."

- "References: None, I've left a path of destruction behind me."

- "Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."

- "Don't take the comments of my former employer too seriously, they were unappreciative beggars and slave drivers."

- "My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteroology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."

- "I procrastinate--especially when the task is unpleasant."

- "I am loyal to my employer at all costs ..Please feel free to resond to my resume on my office voicemail."

- "Qualifications: No education or experience."

- "Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."

- "Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."

- "Extensive background in accounting. I can also stand on my head!"

- Cover letter: "Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!"

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"References: None, I've left a path of destruction behind me."

- "Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."

- "Don't take the comments of my former employer too seriously, they were unappreciative beggars and slave drivers."

- "My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteroology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."

:laugh: :laugh:

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