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Something We Can All Look Forward To...some Sooner Than

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A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art."

"Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?"

"Twelve thirty."


Morris, an 82 year-old man went to the Doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm. A couple of days later the doctor spoke to the man and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"

Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doctor: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.' "

The Doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said you’ve got a heart murmur. Be



As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280 Interstate. Please be careful!"

"I’m on it now and it's not just one car," said Herman. "It's hundreds of them!"


An elderly gent was invited to his old friends' home for dinner one evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms-- Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love.

While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his host, "I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names."

The old man hung his head. "I have to tell you the truth," he said, "I forgot her name about 10 years ago."

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I think I remember a similar joke that I've heard.

a 90 year old guy goes to the doctor and tells the doctor that he wants to know his sperm count

The doctor tells him, "you're 90, do you really feel it's necessary?" The old guy insists. So the doctor gives him a small jar and says, "Go home and do your thing and bring back a sperm sample tommarro."

The old person takes it, then comes back in the next day. The jar is empty.

Doctor: What happened?

Older person: Well, first I tried with my right, then I tried with my left. Then my wife tried: with her right, with her left, ... then with dentures in and dentures out

... and neither one of us could open the jar


that probably was longer than it needed to be

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