the DJ commandments FOR ALL TO OBEY!!

[djjoshuacarl1]

After consideration @ www.djchat.com heres the definative list:

1--thou shall not piss dj off

2--thou shall inovate whenever possible

4--thou shall not ask for ac/dc during my house set

5--thou shall not ask if you can look through my cd's

6--thou shall not stand with five people in my tiny booth,

even if you're all female and have nice asses

7--thou shall not put a drink anywhere near my deck

8--thou shall not come up every few minutes because i

haven't played your request yet

9--thou shall not bring your own CD's i have enuf as you see

10--thou shall not write more then five requests down

11--thou shall not ask dj if he can play any real music

12--thou shall not approach dj if the alcohol on your breath

get's there first

13--thou shall understand dj makes the call on all requests

14--thou shall not argue with dj that people will dance to

it

15--thou shall not request a song if thou won't dance to it

16--thou shall not be under the mis-conception that a song

played by dj constitutes the dj has entire album

17--thou shall not call dj names or dj reserves the right

to return the favor--OVER THE MIC

18--thou shall not approach dj behind controls unless you

are 5'+ 125lbs -, no boyfriend and want to freak

after the show

19--thou shall not wait till last 45 minutes of show to make

a request

20--thou shall not ask me to keep your jacket, purse etc in

my booth... it is not a closet

21--thou shall not tell dj the owner said to play this song

22--thou shall not touch anything...ANYTHING

23--thou shall open ones mind and stop living of the

mainstream music bulldozer...

24--thou shall learn the difference between pop, r&b, house

hip hop and techno

25--thou shall not fart in dj booth and leave

26--thou shall not think thou know how to run the exalted

celebration better than the dj

27--thou shall not request more then one composition from

same favorite performer

28--thou shall not expect dj to possess every new release

from every performer in this world

29--thou shall not complain when the melodious performance

ends unless thee will provide dj compensation for

continuance

30--thou shall not proclaim loudly from dance floor,

Prithee, will thou play some FREEBIRD

31--thou shall not ask dj "can you let the whole song play"

32--thou shall reveal fless if they really want to hear

something and thou must understand it is no guarantee

33--thou shall not take headphones off the head of dj if

they are put there to ignore you

34--thou shall not ask to play your party unless cash is

flashed

35--dj reserves the right to have patrons removed for

dumbass requests

36--dj reserves the right to use boob meter to weigh the

validity of female requests

37--thou shall not wear clothes that don't fit in booth

or the floor

38--thou shall not goose the dj while he is playing 3 tracks

@ once...this has been known to cause train wreck

39--thou shall not say "i'm a dj also let me lay down a few"

40--thou shall not regurgitate within 50 feet of dj booth

41--thou shall not player hate, while his girlfriend is in

club

42--thou shall not request to play dance if dj has floor

bumping

43--thou shall understand dj is the shepherd offer not music

against his wishes

44--thou shall understand to bear witness unto the floor of

dance, for thereupon are given the signs of contentment

45--give unto the crow great merriment and joy, for such is

the province and the crowds shall exalt, and bring to

you pieces of gold in thy name, and greater shall be

the chorus of those who make mirth upon the blessed

assemblies

46--thou ladies when requesting shall show tips or ti*s when

making thine requests, men shall just tip

47--thou shall not request the chicken dance during my set

48--thou shall not tell me what to play, even though you

have been in the music business for years

49--thou shall not ask dj to make announcement to chick at

the bar, dj has knowledge given unto him that she don't

like you

50--thou shall not ask dj to come to dance floor with you he

has limited time to prepare next mix

51--thou shall not sing words to dj and expect him to know

song especially out of key

52--thou shall not ask dj to play song again cause thou

wasn't ready to dance to it the first time

53--thou shall not ask for garth brooks in my top 40 house

54--thou will show dj respect at his job or dj reserves

right to go to your job and complain

55--thou shall not request top song to be played when no-one

is ready to dance

56--thou shall understand dj controls house as he wishes

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www.djjoshuacarl.com

[brandie]

5 foot and 125 lbs??? DAMN.

i'm 5-5 and like 110 . . . jeeez.

luv,

brandie

------------------

"And those who were seen dancing

were thought to be insane by those

who could not hear the music."

**NEW EMAIL!!**

brandie@powerpuff.com

AIM: loves2cox

i love Rob *always&forever*