mugwump Posted November 21 Report Share Posted November 21 Have any of you had to reinvent yourselves after a major change?Well I don't think I need to re-tellmy entire story on here...most ofyou are sick of it. Let's just say thatI had a major melt down in the U.S(Second one in twoyears) and this time it was FAR worse than Ithad ever been before..Yup a real self destructiveone way ticket to hell and I was gonna pull as many people down with me as I could. No money,no job...fading relationship (whichwas a complete lie from the start) Theonly thing that survived where some really great faces that helped me back up on my feet and showed me the quickest way out of townand my dog.So with my faithful dog Rocco I made the leapand started from scratch. New Job,New life, New girl...New outlook on life.And It's like night and day..It's like I can't remember what I wasso pissed off about..Like a weight has lifted offof me...somer mad demon exorcized frommy soul...It's really amazingwhat a complete change of scenery, new faces anda Fresh new start can do to a person.I find myself overflowing with ideas,Stories to write..new artistic colaborations..I'm learning to spin..learning to love myself again..and take life one step at a time!(I sat down a couple weeks ago on the computer and this entire saga just started flowing from my finger tips..a collection of stories from my clubbing days set in different cities across the world..all based on true events and with personal relationships channeled through fictional characters..I gave a friend a first read and he was like."crap that's some good stuff..did that really happen? You should try and polish it up with an editor and get it published!")But In any case I guess What I'm just trying to get atis this; If it ain't working CHANGE! And start fresh (If you can)As a great lyric from Matt Johnson (singer of THE THE) once went: "If you can't change your world then change yourself..but if you can't change YOURSELF change your WOOOorld!"(The rest just kinda falls into place!)Have any of you had to start fresh..in a different city?Different jobs? OrJust a complete turn around in mental state whereyou are at? How did this change Affect you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phuturephunk Posted November 21 Report Share Posted November 21 . . . At the moment I'm trying to do just that . . . I've been trying for years, but my learned pattern is so strong in my life that I find it hard to deviate from the vice ridden nonsense that has so totally defined me . . . Lived through years of heartache, self-pitying and 'what could have beens' even though at any time I was well within my power (and still am) to change it . . . . . Yesterday was a real eye opener for me . . I'm still feeling the gradual effects of it starting to hit now . . . It all came down to one specific incident seeminly on a routine trip to work and it made me think very hard about how much I really DON"T have to complain about in this world . . . . . I was driving into work yesterday and the exit I get off the highway forces me to loop back under the highway itself to the main street leading up to the complex . . . I pulled underneath the overpass . . I was two cars back, spotted the guy waiting at the line and said 'what the fuck' cuz no one was in the center lane . . so I pull up to the line next to him and kinda inch forward cuz my plan was to juke him off the line (he wasn't gonna launch fast because I observed him driving before and you can just tell these things . .slow drivers are slow drivers . . ) . . The light turns green and oddly enough I wait about 2 seconds to go . . . . . I drop the clutch and launch into the intersection . . I have right of way . . . Now, the exit from the other direction crosses the main street right there in that intersection, people come off of it VERY fast because its a straight line exit ramp . . . I flew into the intersection and all I can see coming right at my passengerside door is the front end of a BMW 7 series doing about 60 miles an hour . . He must have completely disregarded the light . . . Somehow, and I don't see how I did it . . I dropped into second and flew out of the intersection then rounded the hill/corner into the complex . . . . . I should be dead . . . Now, there's certain times you have a near miss . . like you would have bumped another car and the worst thing that could happen was you going into the guardrail at 40 and fucking up your car . . . and then theres certain times when you have a near miss that . . no other possible outcome than death would have resulted . . . My car weighs about 2000 pounds . .that 7 out porks me by a grand . . Had that guy hit me I'd be dead right now . . No kinda hurt . . . No sorta hurt . . but dead . . . . . . I still don't know how we managed to miss each other . . but while my car was climbing that hill up to where my office is . . I kept thinking about how much I 'don't' have to bitch about . . How the hurdles in my life are fixable with a bit of personal application and effort . . . . . I'm rambling, and I apologize . . but I have an odd outlook on things at the moment . . and hopefully I can keep it for the foreseeable future . . . Cuz If I don't change myself from this . . now knowing for FACT that things can get worse . . Having that 7 year wake-up call to get my ass in gear . . . I'm gonna end up destroying myself . . wasting into nothingness . . . . . . And I'm worth more than that . . .. . Or something to that effect . . -Phonk . . . . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danamdkny Posted November 21 Report Share Posted November 21 I am trying to "reinvent" my life for it's third cycle - I have had some really significant and Drastic changes in my life and lifestyle in the relatively short time I have been alive- Changes are constantly occuring around me- my vocation, my friends(or lack of), my family, location, etc....... ---- I try and keep sight of the things that remain constant- myself- and I try and step outsde of myself and see if I am pleased with what is staying the same within.----* now I am trying to accept the changes in that have been devastating (stop letting the blaming/and self- hatred consume me) and move on with the positive things I can glean -- smile and put together a new life I can be happy with -- ----so that's what I am attempting now-- I realize that I can't live in the past- some of my friends are moving farther away from me ( not necessarily literallly) and that my opportunities are Boundless if I only open my eYes~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mugwump Posted November 21 Author Report Share Posted November 21 wow..good thing youare still alive mike!that's scary...Thanks for sharing yall..I myself have always believed the onlything constant in life IS change.Change without fleeing...notrunning away but recognizing thepossibilities of "moving on" ifit ain't working in one place and you'vespent all your options.(I was supose to leave a yearago but I gave it a couple of wacksand shit still didn't pan through.)In fact as much as I love NY's energyIts hard not to let it's dark side swallowyou whole when you are down.(granted there are pros and cons EVERYWHERE)But moving to a place with a bettereconomy, a more relaxed quality oflife and one hell of a backyard:(EUROPE)can sure make you feel like it was all worth it.cheersM* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joeg Posted November 21 Report Share Posted November 21 i don't know if i'd call it "reinventing myself"... but every once in a while, you have to take a step back and say "is life really going the way i want it to?" and if its not... you gotta try something different... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twilo Beauty Posted November 21 Report Share Posted November 21 That's some story mugwump. I'de like to hear one day about your experiences.Reinvention is cathartic. I haven't reached that point yet but I know I will go through it. -iliana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mugwump Posted November 22 Author Report Share Posted November 22 Iliana...If and when I ever go backto The Big apple I want tosit down with you and have a drink..Sounds like we BOTH have lotsto share...Yea It's good to start Fresh..Plus having theactual time to step back and think, read and not spend all your energy worrying about Bills and jobsis great...Let me tell you something about Italythat I love..Shit stops here between noon and four every day!ALMOST EVERYTHING DOES!I go to lunch with co-workersand we talk movies for four hours..other times (when I bring my dog towork) I take him to the CINECITA Lot..(Where they shot Spartacus amongmany other classics) and let him runaround like a maniac...other times my girlswings by and we make love in an emptywearhouse that's packed with movie Propsfrom Fellini films...other times I take a ridein my SMARt car and go have Lunch withmy family..FOUR hours mind you toLIVE and stop working..And "relax".....(I know this concept ishard for Americans to grasp..but here it's the LAW)I love it here!I love the fact that I have money and TIMElike I never had in NYC.Money to eat..Money to see a SHRINK (Finaly)and delve into the INNERself (a world I'm actualyhaving fun exploring..though scarysometimes)..Money to make art..Money to buy records and learnhow to spin and make music onmy Mac..money to TRAVEL!And in the end the time and leisure to make"ART" is my true salvation.Without a creative outlet I lose my grip on reality..My life becomes a work of art..and not all art is happy go lucky(Go look at paintings by GOYAsome times art can be..scary)I never could find leisure timeto create in NYC becaues I wastoo busy worrying about howI was gonna make rent, satisfymy Ex, Have food to eat, pay bills..In the end I turned to stupidchemicals and endless nights asan escape. (Going out should bea celebration...not a self destructivepattern fuelled by Booze and drugs)In all...I am re-inventing myselfto be molded into the Maudythat use to be FUN; Creative..energetic and filled with Positive(though often crazy) Ideas..That Maudy almost died inNY surrounded by on lookersthat only saw a pathetic personcrash and burn..(I don't blame anyone for runningaway from me!)But trust me when I tell ya thatthe MAUDY in Rome is allreadygrowing faster in the last fewweeks than he's been ableto grow in the last two years in NYC.(Of course Drinking in moderationand limiting myself tothe ocasional "toke" and noneof the harder shit Helps)I'll keep ya all updatedfrom time to time!Now I gotta get back toan animated title sequenceI'm workin on for a Frenchmini series...(((HUGZ)))Maudy* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassa Posted November 22 Report Share Posted November 22 i have never lived in one place for more than 5 years my entire life...this happens to me continuously...kind of tiring though sometimes....sometimes change seems unfair and painful...life changes us as well as what we do to change ourselves...anyone ever felt elevated when something "clicks" in their mind...sometimes they occur randomly and sometimes they come after mulling over something for a while...those little points of knowledge that help bring you closer to the realization of who we are and what is life and what is the deal for everything...off topic... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cintron Posted November 22 Report Share Posted November 22 Everyday I've tried. I'm finally at the point realizing that change is gradual, and that I can't simply wake up one day with a new "me" and simply follow that path. So it's a constant evolution. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stacychase Posted November 24 Report Share Posted November 24 I moved to NY four years ago and changed my entire life.... Since than I have gone through another cycle and am the same person, however look at things from a different angle.... Life for me is really good right now and I am very thankful. I have a great job, think I am experiencing love for the 1st time, found old friendships gratifying and have ventured out and done things in the Tri-State area that I never knew existed!I am happier now than ever been before and feel an inner peace that words cannot explain. I have also left the past and now realize that people do the best they can and that it is time to grow up and let my childhood go!!!Good luck to you and I am happy to hear that you have put life in perspective. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marcid21 Posted November 24 Report Share Posted November 24 Originally posted by cintron Everyday I've tried. I'm finally at the point realizing that change is gradual, and that I can't simply wake up one day with a new "me" and simply follow that path. So it's a constant evolution. Absolutely luv........ this is what I've been learning lately. Change is a gradual thing. Bettering yourself is something that evolves slowly, and takes it's time.If your really looking to make a change and better yourself, it has to be gradual. You have to stop along the way and take a clear look at things and define their meaning to you.... sometimes I think there are big changes being made, and we don't even know it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
max3 Posted November 24 Report Share Posted November 24 I understand change is an inevitable part of live( Heraclitus"You can never step into the same river twice)." ....and agree that it's gradual..But it is a difficult process I guess because of fear of the unknown, sometimes it takes a major catastrophe for change to happen. I know I must go through a major change now, since both my father and mother passed away before their time, after living a life of hardship in New York over 20 years. I feel too many negative things have happened here to stay any longer. So in this case I agree with definitely changing my environment (rather than changing myself), if not somewhere faraway outside New York, some place a distance away from my current residence in New York.....New york may be a great place, but not for everyone..to live. Some people think it's a highly overrated place and I could see why they would say that. I guess we each have different chemistries with the environment we live in, whether good or bad; and we probably need to find an environment with the best chemistry for us; sort of like a relationship with a person.....But if this is the case I wonder what is the best way to find out and choose which environment is best for you.....maybe personal evaluation???...something to think aboout first...Well congratulations mugwump on finding a positive environment 4 yourself... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mugwump Posted November 24 Author Report Share Posted November 24 Originally posted by max3 Well congratulations mugwump on finding a positive environment 4 yourself... Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mythical22 Posted November 24 Report Share Posted November 24 Wow you guys are really inspiring me. I am applying to grad school in Cali...I am kinda scared though....I have a good base here in NY..good friends...good fam....and I do love NY...but I feel like I just NEED to try something different...like I don't want to look back on my life and say " I wonder what i would have been like to..." I think change is great...it makes things interesting..it makes you grow...and it makes you see things from different perspectives....it takes a strong person to realize what they need to better themselves...we all need to look inside and ask what we should be doing to become the person we want to be...I think it's better to try somehing new....get a different perspective on things...do what it takes to make YOU happy!!!!It is great to hear about yor new life in Italy Mugwump!!!!!!!!Sounds fuckn wonderful...to be somewhere that people are relaxed and things STOP in the mdde of the day!!ANYWAY...THANX for inspiring me!!!!!Good luck to us all!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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