Any of you try reinvent yourselves?(starting a new life

[mugwump]

Have any of you had to reinvent

yourselves after a major change?

Well I don't think I need to re-tell

my entire story on here...most of

you are sick of it.

Let's just say that

I had a major melt down in the U.S

(Second one in twoyears) and this time

it was FAR worse than It

had ever been before..

Yup a real self destructive

one way ticket to hell and I was

gonna pull as many people down

with me as I could. No money,

no job...fading relationship (which

was a complete lie from the start) The

only thing that survived where some really

great faces that helped me back up on my feet

and showed me the quickest way out of town

and my dog.

So with my faithful dog Rocco I made the leap

and started from scratch. New Job,

New life, New girl...New outlook on life.

And It's like night and day..

It's like I can't remember what I was

so pissed off about..Like a weight has lifted off

of me...somer mad demon exorcized from

my soul...

It's really amazing

what a complete change of scenery, new faces and

a Fresh new start can do to a person.

I find myself overflowing with ideas,

Stories to write..new artistic colaborations..

I'm learning to spin..learning to love myself again..

and take life one step at a time!

(I sat down a couple weeks ago on the

computer and this entire saga just started

flowing from my finger tips..a collection of

stories from my clubbing days set in different

cities across the world..all based on true

events and with personal relationships

channeled through fictional characters..

I gave a friend a first read and he was like.

"crap that's some good stuff..did that really

happen? You should try and polish it up with

an editor and get it published!")

But In any case I guess

What I'm just trying to get at

is this; If it ain't working CHANGE!

And start fresh (If you can)

As a great lyric from Matt Johnson

(singer of THE THE) once went:

"If you can't change your world

then change yourself..but if you can't change

YOURSELF change your WOOOorld!"

(The rest just kinda falls into place!)

Have any of you had to start fresh..

in a different city?

Different jobs? Or

Just a complete turn around in mental state where

you are at? How did this change Affect you?

[phuturephunk]

. . . At the moment I'm trying to do just that . . . I've been trying for years, but my learned pattern is so strong in my life that I find it hard to deviate from the vice ridden nonsense that has so totally defined me . . . Lived through years of heartache, self-pitying and 'what could have beens' even though at any time I was well within my power (and still am) to change it . .

. . . Yesterday was a real eye opener for me . . I'm still feeling the gradual effects of it starting to hit now . . . It all came down to one specific incident seeminly on a routine trip to work and it made me think very hard about how much I really DON"T have to complain about in this world . . .

. . I was driving into work yesterday and the exit I get off the highway forces me to loop back under the highway itself to the main street leading up to the complex . . . I pulled underneath the overpass . . I was two cars back, spotted the guy waiting at the line and said 'what the fuck' cuz no one was in the center lane . . so I pull up to the line next to him and kinda inch forward cuz my plan was to juke him off the line (he wasn't gonna launch fast because I observed him driving before and you can just tell these things . .slow drivers are slow drivers . . ) . . The light turns green and oddly enough I wait about 2 seconds to go . . .

. . I drop the clutch and launch into the intersection . . I have right of way . . . Now, the exit from the other direction crosses the main street right there in that intersection, people come off of it VERY fast because its a straight line exit ramp . . . I flew into the intersection and all I can see coming right at my passengerside door is the front end of a BMW 7 series doing about 60 miles an hour . . He must have completely disregarded the light . . . Somehow, and I don't see how I did it . . I dropped into second and flew out of the intersection then rounded the hill/corner into the complex . . .

. . I should be dead . . . Now, there's certain times you have a near miss . . like you would have bumped another car and the worst thing that could happen was you going into the guardrail at 40 and fucking up your car . . . and then theres certain times when you have a near miss that . . no other possible outcome than death would have resulted . . . My car weighs about 2000 pounds . .that 7 out porks me by a grand . . Had that guy hit me I'd be dead right now . . No kinda hurt . . . No sorta hurt . . but dead . . . .

. . I still don't know how we managed to miss each other . . but while my car was climbing that hill up to where my office is . . I kept thinking about how much I 'don't' have to bitch about . . How the hurdles in my life are fixable with a bit of personal application and effort . . .

. . I'm rambling, and I apologize . . but I have an odd outlook on things at the moment . . and hopefully I can keep it for the foreseeable future . . . Cuz If I don't change myself from this . . now knowing for FACT that things can get worse . . Having that 7 year wake-up call to get my ass in gear . . . I'm gonna end up destroying myself . . wasting into nothingness . . .

. . . And I'm worth more than that . . .

. . Or something to that effect . .

-Phonk . . . . . .

[danamdkny]

I am trying to "reinvent" my life for it's third cycle -

I have had some really significant and Drastic changes in my life and lifestyle in the relatively short time I have been alive-

Changes are constantly occuring around me- my vocation, my friends(or lack of), my family, location, etc.......

---- I try and keep sight of the things that remain constant- myself- and I try and step outsde of myself and see if I am pleased with what is staying the same within.

----* now I am trying to accept the changes in that have been devastating (stop letting the blaming/and self- hatred consume me) and move on with the positive things I can glean -- smile and put together a new life I can be happy with --

----so that's what I am attempting now-- I realize that I can't live in the past- some of my friends are moving farther away from me ( not necessarily literallly) and that my opportunities are Boundless if I only open my eYes~

[mugwump]

wow..good thing you

are still alive mike!

that's scary...

Thanks for sharing yall..

I myself have always believed the only

thing constant in life IS change.

Change without fleeing...not

running away but recognizing the

possibilities of "moving on" if

it ain't working in one place and you've

spent all your options.

(I was supose to leave a year

ago but I gave it a couple of wacks

and shit still didn't pan through.)

In fact as much as I love NY's energy

Its hard not to let it's dark side swallow

you whole when you are down.

(granted there are pros and cons EVERYWHERE)

But moving to a place with a better

economy, a more relaxed quality of

life and one hell of a backyard:

(EUROPE)can sure make you feel

like it was all worth it.

cheers

M*

[joeg]

i don't know if i'd call it "reinventing myself"... but every once in a while, you have to take a step back and say "is life really going the way i want it to?" and if its not... you gotta try something different...

[Twilo Beauty]

That's some story mugwump. I'de like to hear one day about your experiences.

Reinvention is cathartic. I haven't reached that point yet but I know I will go through it.

-iliana

[mugwump]

Iliana...

If and when I ever go back

to The Big apple I want to

sit down with you and have a drink..

Sounds like we BOTH have lots

to share...

Yea It's good to

start Fresh..Plus having the

actual time to step back and think,

read and not spend all your energy

worrying about Bills and jobs

is great...

Let me tell you something about Italy

that I love..Shit stops here between noon

and four every day!

ALMOST EVERYTHING DOES!

I go to lunch with co-workers

and we talk movies for four hours..

other times (when I bring my dog to

work) I take him to the CINECITA Lot..

(Where they shot Spartacus among

many other classics) and let him run

around like a maniac...other times my girl

swings by and we make love in an empty

wearhouse that's packed with movie Props

from Fellini films...other times I take a ride

in my SMARt car and go have Lunch with

my family..

FOUR hours mind you to

LIVE and stop working..

And "relax".....

(I know this concept is

hard for Americans to grasp..

but here it's the LAW)

I love it here!

I love the fact that I have

money and TIME

like I never had in NYC.

Money to eat..

Money to see a SHRINK (Finaly)

and delve into the INNER

self (a world I'm actualy

having fun exploring..though scary

sometimes)..Money to make art..

Money to buy records and learn

how to spin and make music on

my Mac..money to TRAVEL!

And in the end the time and leisure to make

"ART" is my true salvation.

Without a creative outlet

I lose my grip on reality..

My life becomes a work of art..

and not all art is happy go lucky

(Go look at paintings by GOYA

some times art can be..scary)

I never could find leisure time

to create in NYC becaues I was

too busy worrying about how

I was gonna make rent, satisfy

my Ex, Have food to eat, pay bills..

In the end I turned to stupid

chemicals and endless nights as

an escape. (Going out should be

a celebration...not a self destructive

pattern fuelled by Booze and drugs)

In all...

I am re-inventing myself

to be molded into the Maudy

that use to be FUN; Creative..

energetic and filled with Positive

(though often crazy) Ideas..

That Maudy almost died in

NY surrounded by on lookers

that only saw a pathetic person

crash and burn..

(I don't blame anyone for running

away from me!)

But trust me when I tell ya that

the MAUDY in Rome is allready

growing faster in the last few

weeks than he's been able

to grow in the last two years in NYC.

(Of course Drinking in moderation

and limiting myself to

the ocasional "toke" and none

of the harder shit Helps)

I'll keep ya all updated

from time to time!

Now I gotta get back to

an animated title sequence

I'm workin on for a French

mini series...

(((HUGZ)))

Maudy*

[sassa]

i have never lived in one place for more than 5 years my entire life...this happens to me continuously...kind of tiring though sometimes....sometimes change seems unfair and painful...life changes us as well as what we do to change ourselves...anyone ever felt elevated when something "clicks" in their mind...sometimes they occur randomly and sometimes they come after mulling over something for a while...those little points of knowledge that help bring you closer to the realization of who we are and what is life and what is the deal for everything...

off topic...

[cintron]

Everyday I've tried. I'm finally at the point realizing that change is gradual, and that I can't simply wake up one day with a new "me" and simply follow that path. So it's a constant evolution.

[stacychase]

I moved to NY four years ago and changed my entire life.... Since than I have gone through another cycle and am the same person, however look at things from a different angle.... Life for me is really good right now and I am very thankful. I have a great job, think I am experiencing love for the 1st time, found old friendships gratifying and have ventured out and done things in the Tri-State area that I never knew existed!

I am happier now than ever been before and feel an inner peace that words cannot explain. I have also left the past and now realize that people do the best they can and that it is time to grow up and let my childhood go!!!

Good luck to you and I am happy to hear that you have put life in perspective.

[marcid21]

Originally posted by cintron

Everyday I've tried. I'm finally at the point realizing that change is gradual, and that I can't simply wake up one day with a new "me" and simply follow that path. So it's a constant evolution.

Absolutely luv....

.... this is what I've been learning lately. Change is a gradual thing. Bettering yourself is something that evolves slowly, and takes it's time.

If your really looking to make a change and better yourself, it has to be gradual. You have to stop along the way and take a clear look at things and define their meaning to you.

... sometimes I think there are big changes being made, and we don't even know it.

[max3]

I understand change is an inevitable part of live( Heraclitus"You can never step into the same river twice)." ....and agree that it's gradual..But it is a difficult process I guess because of fear of the unknown, sometimes it takes a major catastrophe for change to happen.

I know I must go through a major change now, since both my father and mother passed away before their time, after living a life of hardship in New York over 20 years. I feel too many negative things have happened here to stay any longer. So in this case I agree with definitely changing my environment (rather than changing myself), if not somewhere faraway outside New York, some place a distance away from my current residence in New York.....

New york may be a great place, but not for everyone..to live. Some people think it's a highly overrated place and I could see why they would say that.

I guess we each have different chemistries with the environment we live in, whether good or bad; and we probably need to find an environment with the best chemistry for us; sort of like a relationship with a person.....

But if this is the case I wonder what is the best way to find out and choose which environment is best for you.....maybe personal evaluation???...something to think aboout first...

Well congratulations mugwump on finding a positive environment 4 yourself...

[mugwump]

Originally posted by max3

Well congratulations mugwump on finding a positive environment 4 yourself...

Thanks

[mythical22]

Wow you guys are really inspiring me. I am applying to grad school in Cali...I am kinda scared though....I have a good base here in NY..good friends...good fam....and I do love NY...but I feel like I just NEED to try something different...like I don't want to look back on my life and say " I wonder what i would have been like to..."

I think change is great...it makes things interesting..it makes you grow...and it makes you see things from different perspectives....it takes a strong person to realize what they need to better themselves...we all need to look inside and ask what we should be doing to become the person we want to be...

I think it's better to try somehing new....get a different perspective on things...do what it takes to make YOU happy!!!!

It is great to hear about yor new life in Italy Mugwump!!!!!!!!

Sounds fuckn wonderful...to be somewhere that people are relaxed and things STOP in the mdde of the day!!

ANYWAY...THANX for inspiring me!!!!!

Good luck to us all!!!!