shlonger Posted November 21 Report Share Posted November 21 displays signs of flagrant homosexuality (Reported by the Daily Shlong): NEW JERSEY - "In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil," Rdntheshortbus told bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Robert Wood Johnson Hospital. Rdntheshortbus, and homosexual partner "Kiki", had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong. "I pushed a cardboard tube up the rectum and slipped Ragnar , our gerbil, in," explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out "Armageddon", my cue that Kiki had enough. I tried to retrieve Ragnar but he wouldn't come out again, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him." At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what happened next. "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out the tube, igniting Rdntheshortbus's hair and severely burning Rdntheshortbus's face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball." Rdntheshortbus suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Kiki suffered first and second degree burns to the anus and lower intestinal tract. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
siciliagirl Posted November 21 Report Share Posted November 21 :laugh: where do you get this stuff? you should write children's books....hahahahaaaaa....nevermind, you'll scare them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dogekid Posted November 21 Report Share Posted November 21 Also, this just in:Sources have revealed Kiki to be a profuse gambler who insists on betting college basketball games while wearing multi-colored scarves made out of human male pubic hair. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rdntheshortbus Posted November 21 Report Share Posted November 21 I'LL RESPOND WHEN I STOP CHOKING ON MY POWERBAR.....You are the best Schlonger.... Happy you are on my side.... whew!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dieselkid76 Posted November 21 Report Share Posted November 21 How bout that joke was told a thousand times before... If you all think this is orginal content maybe you should all get your heads examined.Lets get serious here.. You all need to lay off the .... off whatever you do. SOMEONE GET ME MY MORPHINE!!!!! STAT!!!!!DIESEL!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ou812 Posted November 21 Report Share Posted November 21 http://www.confound.com/videos/files/fart_lighter.zipcopy and paste Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shlonger Posted November 21 Author Report Share Posted November 21 Originally posted by dieselkid76 How bout that joke was told a thousand times before... If you all think this is orginal content maybe you should all get your heads examined.Lets get serious here.. You all need to lay off the .... off whatever you do. SOMEONE GET ME MY MORPHINE!!!!! STAT!!!!!DIESEL!!!!! Rutherford- Last night, a young man requesting to be identified as Diesel, was enjoying an evening at his Rutherford home when a quiet evening soon turned into a homosexual/bestial rampage.It all began when a noise complaint by a neighbor was called in. The neighbor claimed Diesel allegedly screamed out,"Oh baby, stuff it harder!" to the point where their windows cracked from high pitched yelps coming from the Diesel residence. It was also reported that the dog at one point began synchronous barking until its vocal cords snapped. Another complaint was made when Diesel left the house naked to buy a box of condoms, telling an elderly passerby that "Me, Spot and my dad broke them all." He then requested the elderly woman, who was walking her dog at the time, give him a ride to the local 7-11 since they were using their dad's muffler for reasons which he could not discuss.When the woman refused, Diesel proceeded to engage in bestiality with the dog, stating "I can't wait any longer." The dog has been identified as a Mexican Chihuahua, and is now at Bergen Veterinary Hospital undergoing treatment for anal lacerations.At that time, Rutherford Police arrived at the scene and continued to arrest Diesel for charges of indecent exposure, incest, and animal cruelty. When told of this, Diesel offered homosexual acts of an unreported nature to a young officer in an attempt to bribe the rookie cop . The officer almost accepted, but declined when they found no prophylactics. The officer has been identified as Diesel's cousin.Diesel and his dad were also caught engaging in oral sex in their holding cell at Rutherford Police deparment, and additional charges will be added during their court appearance . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jpdd810 Posted November 21 Report Share Posted November 21 OMG I almost just choked to death on my food!!!! You are too funny!! :laugh: :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dogekid Posted November 22 Report Share Posted November 22 Originally posted by dieselkid76 How bout that joke was told a thousand times before... If you all think this is orginal content maybe you should all get your heads examined.Lets get serious here.. You all need to lay off the .... off whatever you do. SOMEONE GET ME MY MORPHINE!!!!! STAT!!!!!DIESEL!!!!! but it's much cooler to pretend you're a doctor and say the word STAT!!! you probably don't even realize that stat is an acronym. but that's ok b/c you make up for it by being the first really really funny person on clubplanet to say your gender is "Alien" now that is some straight up kings of comedy type shit right there. kill yourself, immediately. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cessy Posted November 22 Report Share Posted November 22 :laugh: :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trewguy Posted November 22 Report Share Posted November 22 the shlong isn't bullsitting i live in rutherford and i heard the story today that poor dog people today Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJstacked Posted November 22 Report Share Posted November 22 Dogekid..you have mail...Riding...How are we going to tame Donkey Boy tonight...Shlonger...This was very funny...Diezel...Are you really that DIESEL? or are you just trying to fit in... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LatinaZee Posted November 22 Report Share Posted November 22 Poor Animals!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dieselkid76 Posted November 22 Report Share Posted November 22 It about time you people realized what Im about...Am I really Diesel? Hardly. Do I care what I write? NO...Its just the best getting a rise out of people..DO I try to be a comedian? sometimes And to to be brutally honest, I dont think im even that funny.Trying to be a doctor? In my wildest dreamsS: SuccinctT: TimelyA: AppropriateT: ThoroughS..T...A....T STAT... Would you like me to use it in a sentence. Get Dogekid some G STAT!!!!Now have fun making fun of me... The more the better, because I really dont exist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SPYGIRL3 Posted November 22 Report Share Posted November 22 Originally posted by siciliagirl :laugh: where do you get this stuff? you should write children's books....hahahahaaaaa....nevermind, you'll scare them And I have too much free time.... ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shlonger Posted November 22 Author Report Share Posted November 22 Hey shortbus, take care of my light work for me (this diesel character). A little busy right now... See you at Shlongro tonite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shlonger Posted November 22 Author Report Share Posted November 22 Hey shortbus, take care of my light work for me (this diesel character). A little busy right now... See you at Retro Shlongro tonite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rdntheshortbus Posted November 22 Report Share Posted November 22 Schlonger....I dont even know if its worth the time...The doc has me on some serious medz this week anyway...I am so calm its disturbing....Some lady at the juicebar knocked my protein shake all over me...... She is still alive... I found myself huggin her, and trying to console her.. telling her it was ok.... not too worry... that my $150 pair of nikey's can be replaced easily by the sacrifice of a few more pennies from my dyin pet pigmee's savings account...Aside from that, I just weighed in my shit taken after lunch, tips the scale at 192lbs... after pickin out all the corn....I shit bigger than most of these guys overall bodymass.....yaaaaaaaaawn.......Maybe he will surprise me and come to Metro tonight with his band of merry men.... Time for another perk... nodding off till later... see ya... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dogekid Posted November 22 Report Share Posted November 22 Originally posted by dieselkid76 It about time you people realized what Im about...Am I really Diesel? Hardly. Do I care what I write? NO...Its just the best getting a rise out of people..DO I try to be a comedian? sometimes And to to be brutally honest, I dont think im even that funny.Trying to be a doctor? In my wildest dreamsS: SuccinctT: TimelyA: AppropriateT: ThoroughS..T...A....T STAT... Would you like me to use it in a sentence. Get Dogekid some G STAT!!!!Now have fun making fun of me... The more the better, because I really dont exist. atta boy diesel. way to roll with the punches. you ain't so bad afterall, and you may have a brain in that nugget of your's. only problem is..no G for me. straight up alcoholic. i have trouble typing that word for some reason (alcoholic). hmmm.Metro tonight gang. see you all there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rdntheshortbus Posted November 22 Report Share Posted November 22 Kid, you've never hung with my boy from Goergia?????You have no concept of the fun you are missin....Ask Rod, he loves my bro... Always buggin the shit out of me...Is you buddy from Goergia cummin, is he.... huh???huh???Is he cummin???? HUh???HUh????drives me fuckin nutz!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.