meli2444 Posted December 5 Report Share Posted December 5 How To Keep A Healthy Level Of InsanityAt lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with theprophecy."Dont use any punctuation marksAs often as possible, skip rather than walk.Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".Sing along at the opera.Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!" "3rd time this week!!!!!"When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"Tell your children over dinner. "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vipnerd Posted December 5 Report Share Posted December 5 Originally posted by meli2444 How To Keep A Healthy Level Of InsanityAt lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with theprophecy."Dont use any punctuation marksAs often as possible, skip rPage yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with theprophecy."Dont use any punctuation marksAs often as possible, skip rather than walk.Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".Sing along at the opera.Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.When the money comes out the Aather than walk.Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".Sing along at the opera.Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!" "3rd time this week!!!!!"When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"Tell your children over dinner. "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go." PLOP!!! :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
funketeer Posted December 5 Report Share Posted December 5 Good stuff!!!sounds like my everyday routine...yay! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lolahotass Posted December 5 Report Share Posted December 5 I got that as an e-mail and almost fell outta my chair...Good one Meli:D Lola:eek: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mimid Posted December 5 Report Share Posted December 5 I've heard this one before but it's off the chain... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyhost Posted December 5 Report Share Posted December 5 OMG THESE ARE HILARIOUS!!! DEFF. HAVE TO TRY SOME OF THE ONES I HAVEN'T DONE ALREADY :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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