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liqidtouch

bumper stickers of 2002

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Horn broken, watch for finger.

Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.

All generalizations are false.

Cover me. I'm changing lanes.

I brake for no apparent reason.

Learn from your parent's mistakes - use birth controle.

I'm not as think you drunk I am!

Forget about world peace.. Visualize using your turn signal.

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?

He who laughs last thinks the slowest.

Lottery: A tax on those who are bad at math.

It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

Auntie Em,... Hate you, hate kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.

I love cats...They taste just like chicken.

Out of my mind, back in 5 minutes.

Forget the Jonses, I keep up with the Simpsons.

Born free...Taxed to death.

The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.

Laugh along and the world thinks you're an idiot.

Rehab is for quitters.

I get enough exercise pushing my luck.

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I just let him sleep.

All men are idiots, and I married their King.

Jack Kevorkian for white house Physician.

Work is for people who don't know how to fish.

Montana -- At least our cows are sane!

Woemon who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

If you don't like the news, go out and make some.

When you do a good deed, get the reciept--in case heavin is like the IRS...

Sorry, I don't date outside my speciese.

No radio -- Already stolen.

Reality is a crutch for people who can't handel drugs.

Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surdges.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Where ther's a will, I want to be in it.

Ok, who stopped payment on ym reality check?

Few women admit their age, fewer men act it.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

Hard work has future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.

Tell me to 'stuff it' - I'm a taxidermist.

IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.

Time is the best teacher, Unfortunatly it kills all it's students.

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.

Some people are only alive because it's illegal to kill.

Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.

A bartender is just a pharmasist with a limited inventory.

Reality? Ts that where the delivery guy comes from?

How can I miss you if you woun't go away?

Warning: Dates in Calinder are closer than they appear.

Give me ambiguatyor give me something else.

We are born naked, wet, and hungry, then things get worse.

Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

Verry funny Scotty, now beam down my clouths.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone somewhere may be happy.

Conchiousness: That annoying time between naps.

i souport publik edekashun.

Be nice to your children. They'll choose your nursing home.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...

There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who can't.

Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

Keep honking...I'm reloading.

Caution: I drive like you do.

Your kids are very popular - with the police.

The hotel in your mind has many vacansies.

Punk is not junk! Rap is CRAP!

God Give Me Patience.... Right NOW!

AND MY BEST AND MOST FAMOUS QUOTE

"Everyone's different, just like everyone else." -ME!!!!!!

The following are complinents of Zechs82088.........

I bet I can do that better with my eyes closed!

Witch wire was I suposed to cut?

Ok I pull the pin and count to what?

Are you sure the power is off?

I used to have a handle on life - but it broke.

I have the body of a god... unfortunetly it's budda.

Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ass?

Honk if you want to see my finger.

Don't drink and drive.... you might hit a bump and spill your drink.

Wantede: Meaningful overnight relaionship.

Beer: it's not just for breakfast

Grow your own dope, plant a man.

Your depriving some poor village of it's idiot.

Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide bodies

100000 sperm cells and you were the fastest.

Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

My hocky mom can kick the shit out of your soccer mom.

Think your gene pool needs a little chlorine.

If you can read this I can hit my breaks and sue you.

NEW

ALCOHOL------

Ossifer, I swear to drunk I'm not God!

No Mr. Martini, I haven't had and officers today.

Star drinking at 9am... It's gotta be happy hour somewhere!

Beer -- Helping Ugly People Get Laid Since 1837

Instant idiot. Just add beer

Who said beer woun't make you smarter? It made Bud wiser!

My car's not a tree hugger, I'm drunk you idiot!

ANIMALS------

Cats are dogs with a college education.

Save a tree; eat a beaver.

So many cats, so few recipes.

The hell with the dog, beware the owner!

APPEARANCE------

Is it hot in here, or is that YOU?

I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much milk did you drink?

I can't be conceited becasue condeit is am inperfestion and I'm PERFECT!

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful... hate me becuase your boyfriend thinks I am!

You look like shit. Is that the style now?

I'm in shape! Round is a shape.....

Don't laugh, it takes a lot of work to look this bad!

I don't have an eating problem, I eat, get fat, NO PROBLEM!

BLONDES------

I suffer from BRS: Blond Root Syndrome

Blondes aren't dumb! (attached upside down)

Blonde jokes are one-liners jsut so brunetts can understand them.

If a blond throws a pin at you RUN, she's got a hand grenade in her mouth!

If you're not blonde, why do you act like it?

CRIME------

Fight Crime. Shoot back!

Thieves will be beaten, stabbed and stomped. Survivors will be prosecuted.

Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.

Officer, will this bumper sticker saying "Support Law Enforcement" keep you from giving me a ticket?

I'm innocent, I was framed, I didn't really mean to do it.

DRIVING------

If only you drove as perfect as me.

EDUCATION------

I soport pudlik skoolz.

My son/daughter is an honor student in the bartender school of the town of Podunk, India.

My German Sheperd is smarter than your honor student

My road to success is under construction

ENVIRONMENTAL------

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

Grow your own dope, plant a man

Save the black fly

Mommy, what were trees like?

FISHING------

My boat is bigger than yours.

My other car's a bass boat.

FOOD------

I didb't spend 6.5 million years clawing my way to the top of the food chain to become a vegetarian

GUNS------

Buy a gun, piss off a liberal.

Guns don't kill people; Cops kill people.

Guns don't kill people; I do.

Honk if you've never seen an uzi fired from a car window.

I don't use 9-1-1, I use .357.

The west wasn't won with a legal gun.

HONK------

Honk if you hate bumper jokes.

Did you know that your horn has been stolen?

KIDS------

Children deffinatly brighten up the household, the never turn the lights off.

Children in the dark cause accidents, accidents in the dark cause children

Insanity is hereditary - you get it from your kids.

MENTAL------

I'm surrounded by imcompetence

Even if the voices aren't real, the have good ideas.

Of course I'm out of my mind, it's dark and scary there

I have ISSUES!

I tried to contain myself but.... I ESCAPED!

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

If we weren't crazy, we would go insane!

I found my friends... in my head

Everyone's entitled to be stupid, but you are abusing the privelege.

99.9% of people in America suffer from insanity, the rest enjoy every minute of it!

Don't talk to me when I'm talking to myself!

No ise in being stupid, if you can't show it!

Of all things I've lost in my silfe, I miss me mind the most.

Your proctoligist called, they found your head.

MONEY------

Money doesn't buy happiness, but it sure as hell comes close!

Money can't buy love, but you'd be surprised how easy it is to rent it!

Much money, many moolahs, bug bucks, dozens of dough, great greenbacks, All neccessities!

OCCUPATIONS------

Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

This isn't an office. it's hell with flourescent lighting.

I can't work - they will take away my welfare check.

Keep on working. Millions of people on welfare depend on you.

I'm having eye problems. I can't see working.

POLITICAL------

P.O.L.I.C.E.: People Of Low Intelligence Corrode Existence!

Save America frompolititions! Elect ex-convicts!

I wasn't using my civil liberties anyway.

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

RANDOM------

I smile because I have no idea what's going on.

My other vehicle is a Mellenium Falcon!

Remember to use ALL fingers when waving at a policeman!

Do not meddle with affairs of dragons, you are crunchy and go good with ketchup!

Enthropy isn't what is used to be.

Do they ever shut up on your planet?

Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work here is done.

My idea of camping is when my room service is late!

This is a bumper sticker.

Crack kills, take pills.

Confusious say "Man who sleeps with ichy butt wakes up with stinky finger."

RELATIONSHIP------

Some call it stalking, some call it love.

I wish my wife was as dirty as my car.

My wife is a sex object, every time I ask for sex she objects.

RELIGION------

It's your hell ..... you burn in it!

God huh? My immaginary friend's name is BoBo

Catholic motto -- if it feels good, don;t do it!

In the beginning there was nothing, then god said, "Let there be light" ... and there was still nothing, but you could see it!

SEXIST------

I'm not A bitch, I'm THE bitch, and that's MISS BITCH to you!

Good girls are bad girls who never get caught.

Guy's are great....every girl should own one!

Frends don't let friends bring ugly women home with them.

I have PMS and a loaded gun. excuse me, did you have something to say?

Good girls go to heaven, but bad girls go everywhere.

How do you fix the dishwasher? Slap her.

I always choose chocolate over men -- ALWAYS

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