Writing Assignment

[timetraveler69]

Prof. Miller In-class Assignment for Wednesday

True Story

Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"? Here's

a

prime example offered by an English professor from the University of

Phoenix:

"Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story.

The

process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting

to

his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will

write

the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner

that

paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the

first

paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it

back

also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a

third

paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to re-read what has

been

written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to

be

absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish

to say

must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a

conclusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in

by two

of my English students:

Rebecca (last name deleted), and Gary (last name deleted).

----------------------------------------------------------------

THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca)

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The

chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home,

now

reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that

he

liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her

mind

off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought

about

him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was

out of

the question.

-----------------------------------------------------------

(second paragraph by Gary)

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack

squadron

now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about

than

the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom

he

had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to

Geostation

17,....", he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit

established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could

sign

off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole

through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him

flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

----------------------------------------------------------

(Rebecca)

He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he

felt

one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman

who had

ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its

pointless

hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress

Passes

Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her

newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored

her.

She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had

passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no

television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all

the

beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to

become

a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

---------------------------------------------------------

(Gary)

Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.

Thousands

of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the

first of

its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who

pushed

the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress had

left

Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were

determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the

passage

of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth,

carrying

enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop

them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium

fusion

missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his

top-secret Mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the

coast

of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized

poor,

stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed

his

fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to

veto

that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"

----------------------------------------------------------

(Rebecca)

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My

writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

----------------------------------------------------------

(Gary)

Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts

at

writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have

chamomile

tea? Or shall I have some other sort of FUCKING TEA??? Oh no, I'm

such an

air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels."

----------------------------------------------------------

(Rebecca)

Asshole.

----------------------------------------------------------

(Gary)

Bitch.

--------------------------------------------------------

**********************************************

(TEACHER)

A+ - I really liked this one. Only group to get an A

[dgmodel]

[timetraveler69]

Originally posted by dgmodel

A guy from work and I were hysterical laughing about this for about 5 minutes straight. Its great because the guy wants nothing to do with the girl crap, he doesn't even compromise!! awesome!