georgym Posted January 10 Report Share Posted January 10 It's just been my experience that, whether it be on a casual date with a girl or in a serious relationship, that people like to build up defenses to a certain degree. It could be in various forms: not revealing too much in conversationstaking things lightlyNot responding right away For me, i find it to be quite annoying and worthless to have a lot of defenses. Game playing, teasing, it's all just bumps in the road to happiness. Why is it that people find the need to build up defenses?/? IS it cuz we're still young and don't want to give so much of ourself to one person? Or is it that that person was hurt in the past and they can't get over it?Im venting here, if u hadn't guessed, by the way Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weyes Posted January 10 Report Share Posted January 10 i think a lot of it's the "once bitten, twice shy" thing. i've had more than one friend do the whole "i'll never let myself fall in love with anyone again" bit and shut him/herself off, and, in doing this, these friends have just put away their wonderful selves.everyone has his/her secrets, but i think we should all be open to new people and experiences. relationships require give and take . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gothzane Posted January 11 Report Share Posted January 11 Most people shy away from mere eye contact as you walk by them on the street let alone open up themselves completely....that takes a bit of trust eh?Sometimes people dont want to relive their past with every new person they meet...sometimes they simply want to enjoy the moment...maybe they will take some time to reveal themselves completely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgym Posted January 11 Author Report Share Posted January 11 Originally posted by gothzane Most people shy away from mere eye contact as you walk by them on the street let alone open up themselves completely....that takes a bit of trust eh?Sometimes people dont want to relive their past with every new person they meet...sometimes they simply want to enjoy the moment...maybe they will take some time to reveal themselves completely. THat's a good point, man.I actually used to be the 1st example (shying away from eye contact) . But i've gained confidence since then, and now i just look any smurf and smurfette in the eye, no prob And your second example rings bells. It seems that EVERYONE has some layers to peel away, but some have X-tra sticky glue, while other use thinner enamel It's just hard when you want to know more, or make the bond a bit tighter, but they're scared to share so much with another person. Then again, therein lies time--the natural healer. So i guess everyone has some layers, , , it just varies on the amount they're willing to peel back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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