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Party Hosting Tips (joke)


stogiey2k2

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Party Hosting Tips

Lackluster parties are usually the result of poor planning, parental chaperoning or prohibition; if you're adult, own a pencil and can afford a keg, you should have no problem hosting a successful shindig. For those wishing to go the extra mile, the following tips will help turn an already happenin' who-hah into a legendary stomp.

To encourage early arrival, make sure your party invitations indicate: "First ten guests to arrive will receive a coupon good for one free handjob with purchase of same."

Keep things classy. For example, pass on any catering service that uses a bleeding swastika as their company logo.

When frolicking on the coat bed, try to avoid ejaculating onto fabrics that require dry cleaning.

Men, if your wife drinks too much and starts acting inappropriately, furrow your brow and fix her with a long, cold stare. This will let guests know that you're really going to slap the shit out of her later.

When planning a buffet, remember the vegetarians. Remember, that is, to cross those faggots off the guest list.

Lying to guests that you spiked the punch with GHB will help you determine which chicks are the real sluts.

Backyard barbeques are a great way to meet your neighbors. It's also a great way to keep them the hell out of your house.

To quickly clear the room at the end of the night, begin talking loudly about the fabulous career opportunities offered by Amway.

Remember, people come for the cockfighting, but they stay for the donkey show.

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