tinybutterfli Posted January 28 Report Share Posted January 28 :laugh2: How To Be A Superstar DJ Being able to mix more than two tracks at once, knowing how to use a sampler in the booth, knowing what key a song is in and having a really innovative sense of rhythm can get you gigs all over the place. There is a difference, however, between just gigging and being a really famous Superstar DJ. Difficulty Level: hard Time Required: 1 year --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Here's How: 1. DEVELOP A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR AUDIENCE. People won't come and you won't get paid the big bucks unless everybody thinks you're cool. 2. Stop playing in the middle of a set. This is best done when you have a really full house. Find something to get mad over and rip the needle off the turntable and just walk out. Popular excuses are: too many ugly people on the dance floor, you've just been told that someone else at another club is playing a bootleg re-mix you did, etc. 3. Play the worst music when the most people are there. Never mind that you've packed the place with $30-a-head customers. They don't understand music anyway and who cares if they're funding your gig? If you're not in the mood to perform step one, this is the next best thing. 4. Embarrass people by shining a spotlight on them. This trick requires an elevated booth above the crowd. Don't worry, though. Once you're famous, club owners will build this for you. 5. Get all sorts of complexities going at your station: three turn tables, a CD, a sampler and a drum pad. Work f*****shly over all this, but make sure there's a mixed DAT someone else did running through the mixer. You're probably going to have to pull a 12-hour set, so these little breaks keep you fresh. 6. DO REMIXES AND GET IN GOOD WITH THE LABELS. This is absolutely paramount. Spinning records is not enough. Unless you're putting things out with your name on it, you'll never be a Superstar. 7. Charge $40k for a re-mix and get some kid to do it for you for $800. This is used by some of the best in the business and can help you out a lot if you are not really a producer. Since you are going to be expected to re-mix, you'd better start finding someone to do it for you now. 8. If you really like something, bootleg it - make friends with other remixers, ask to borrow their unreleased tracks to play in your club or on your radio show (they'll love the exposure). Get it on DAT, then press up a few thousand white labels to sell. 9. MAKE YOURSELF FEEL IMPORTANT - there are a few ways to do this. The most popular is to start your own label. See the how to run a record label link below. It doesn't matter if your label has no distribution or never releases anything. You can sign other people's material and never release it. It ties up their track and makes sure they'll never be any competition to you 10. Raise the price of your own remixes because you've now got an exclusive contract with your own phony label. You are now officially a Superstar DJ! Tips: 1. Threaten to have people beated up (don't know why this works, but most superstar DJs I know do it, so it must have some value). 2. Develop a drug habit, or at least act like you have one, preferably something that makes you able to play 12 hour sets and produce tracks and run a label and throw tantrums and nearly get you thrown in jail. 3. Attitude is everything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookiegirl Posted January 28 Report Share Posted January 28 have people beated up? . . .this sounds suspiciously like a certain DJ I won't mention for fear of a message board beat-down . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinybutterfli Posted January 28 Author Report Share Posted January 28 Originally posted by cookiegirl have people beated up? . . .this sounds suspiciously like a certain DJ I won't mention for fear of a message board beat-down . . . heh, I love his sets but he's totally #4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kramadas Posted January 28 Report Share Posted January 28 Originally posted by cookiegirl have people beated up? . . .this sounds suspiciously like a certain DJ I won't mention for fear of a message board beat-down . . . If its the same DJ I'm thinking about, I don't think there are too many fans on here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kuro Posted January 28 Report Share Posted January 28 I'm pretty sure that the person who wrote this had several DJs in mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patural9 Posted January 28 Report Share Posted January 28 I heard that d:fuse stopped a record in the middle of his set at glow to stop a dance circle is this true??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shadygroovedc Posted January 28 Report Share Posted January 28 Originally posted by patural9 I heard that d:fuse stopped a record in the middle of his set at glow to stop a dance circle is this true??? I wouldn't doubt it. My dad always told me "Son, never trust a man in a cowboy hat." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kuro Posted January 28 Report Share Posted January 28 Originally posted by patural9 I heard that d:fuse stopped a record in the middle of his set at glow to stop a dance circle is this true??? Didn't he do that just a few weeks ago, same night Knee Deep was opening? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vicman Posted January 28 Report Share Posted January 28 Originally posted by Kuro Didn't he do that just a few weeks ago, same night Knee Deep was opening? some people were there, maybe they know something but are keeping silent on the subject Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinybutterfli Posted January 28 Author Report Share Posted January 28 Originally posted by vicman some people were there, maybe they know something but are keeping silent on the subject i left before it happened. i was falling asleep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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