shadygroovedc Posted January 31 Report Share Posted January 31 In Texas, a guy sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog for Sale."He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there.You talk?" he asks.Yep," the mutt replies.So, what's your story?"The mutt looks up and says, "Well, I discovered this gift pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running. The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.The owner says, "Ten dollars."The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him, so cheap?"The owner replies, "He's such a liar. He didn't do any of that shit" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vicman Posted January 31 Report Share Posted January 31 texas Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jroo Posted January 31 Report Share Posted January 31 ok since no one responded to this, im gonna put it here tooSo this couple is lying in bed one Saturday morning. When the husband decides that he really wants to go hunting. He turns to his wife and says “honey, you want to go hunting with me, today?†The wife doesn’t want to go. So she says “No, honey, I don’t really feel like it today.†The old man says “Dang nabit woman, you never want to do anything I want to do, but you drag Me all over the damn place!! Alright, here’s what’s gonna happen. You’re either gonna go hunting with me, Take it in the ass, or suck my dick!!! I’m gonna go walk the dog, when I get back you better be ready to do one of those three things!!!!!†So the man gets dressed and takes the dog out for his morning walk. When he gets back, his wife is still lying in bed. The husband says “alright, so, what’s it gonna be? Hunting, ass, or my cock in your mouth?†the wife says “well, I don’t really want to go hunting, and I definitely don’t want to take it in the ass this early in the morning, so, I guess that I’ll suck your dick.†The man says “alright then†he drops drawers. His wife starts to go down on him when all of a sudden she stops. A look of pure disgust on her face, like she’s gonna puke, and says “OH MY GOD!!! YOUR DICK TASTES LIKE SHIT!!!!!!!!†her eyes are tearing, its horrible. Then the man says with a sheepish smile “well the dog didn’t want to go hunting either.†Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookiegirl Posted January 31 Report Share Posted January 31 No one replied b/c it's gross! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jroo Posted January 31 Report Share Posted January 31 Originally posted by cookiegirl No one replied b/c it's gross! so, you want to go hunting? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
revaluation Posted January 31 Report Share Posted January 31 Originally posted by vicman texas eat my ass beeyach Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vicman Posted January 31 Report Share Posted January 31 Originally posted by revaluation eat my ass beeyach texans Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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