fierydesire Posted March 21 Report Share Posted March 21 Have any of you done this? I'm not saying having several boyfriends/girlfriends at once but rather seeing a few different people at the same time. Would you say something is wrong with it or that it is perfectly fine?Well I'll describe my scenerio, I'm with one guy who I care for very much and he cares for me but we have agreed on an open relationship/friendship type thing where we can tell each other who we see and what not. Then there is this other guy, that I am seeing where I can't tell him about the other guy. He and I don't have a relationship rather we are just seeing one another. Do you think that is wrong that I can't tell him about guy #1? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hotbarbiedoll Posted March 21 Report Share Posted March 21 Originally posted by fierydesire Have any of you done this? I'm not saying having several boyfriends/girlfriends at once but rather seeing a few different people at the same time. Would you say something is wrong with it or that it is perfectly fine?Well I'll describe my scenerio, I'm with one guy who I care for very much and he cares for me but we have agreed on an open relationship/friendship type thing where we can tell each other who we see and what not. Then there is this other guy, that I am seeing where I can't tell him about the other guy. He and I don't have a relationship rather we are just seeing one another. Do you think that is wrong that I can't tell him about guy #1? I have never done this so Im not the best 1 I guess to be giving advice..But Ill give my opinion.I personally dont agree w/ it bc if 2 people really care about eachother, even if they agree 2 an open relationship, it's still hard-they still will naturally get jealous or upset if the other is dating/messing with some1 else, its human nature.. Plus I wouldnt WANT a guy 2 go get his from another girl then come to me..=/ But if you cant tell #2 about #1, obviously u feel guilty about something & dont feel deep down 4 yourself that its right.. Maybe u should talk to guy #1 (lol) about how u feel, unless u too also want 2 see different people-than thats a different story Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassa Posted March 21 Report Share Posted March 21 i don't know about your scenario, but i think it's totally fine to date around...and they don't necessarily have to know about each other, you are being picky and choosy as to who you want to see....and the whole point of your dating a lot of people is that right? to be picky and choosy...so don't feel bad. unless you really care about this other dude (and no offense, but an open relationship to me means that you guys have some problems you either have confronted and cannot deal with, or you are not compatible but based on your history, you want to keep that line.."just in case", correct me if i'm wrong, please...) i would say go for it...i'm seeing someone right now but i still leave myself open to interesting aspects....but maybe that's because i'm not in love.......i dunno....hope that helped... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fierydesire Posted March 21 Author Report Share Posted March 21 k well guy #1 knows about all my endeavors, I love it and him for it cause I can be soo open but he has expressed to me that he gets jealous, but he said this when he was drunk. As for guy #2, he is more of a jealous type and I don't know if he wants anything. One minute he wants something the next he seems weird about it. IDK, but I know that with guy#2 I dont want a relationship, I love how things are and with guy #1 this is our second try with a different approach and it is soo much better.At the same time I don't think its wrong what I'm doing, I have no commitments to either one. At first I thought it was great to rekindle with #1, but he is leaving to Turkey for 2 months and he told me he wants to start off slow this time, but he calls me like a million times a day. Its weird we are like bestfriends and lovers and we are great together but I am taking what we have with a grain of salt from past experiences. As for #2 he is someone I have always wanted and now I have him but I cant see myself with him. . . argh Im just rambling but basically I like them both and I'm enjoying being single and dating them as well as some others haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fierydesire Posted March 21 Author Report Share Posted March 21 Originally posted by sassa i don't know about your scenario, but i think it's totally fine to date around...and they don't necessarily have to know about each other, you are being picky and choosy as to who you want to see....and the whole point of your dating a lot of people is that right? to be picky and choosy...so don't feel bad. unless you really care about this other dude (and no offense, but an open relationship to me means that you guys have some problems you either have confronted and cannot deal with, or you are not compatible but based on your history, you want to keep that line.."just in case", correct me if i'm wrong, please...) i would say go for it...i'm seeing someone right now but i still leave myself open to interesting aspects....but maybe that's because i'm not in love.......i dunno....hope that helped... as for the open relationship, I see it more as being with someone you care for yet you two can be mature enough so that u date other people while still having that bond. Right now I don't want anything serious I like where I am and so does guy #1. As for #2, the sex is great;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hotbarbiedoll Posted March 21 Report Share Posted March 21 See he gets jealous bc he cares, or he would just be like whatever...And if its so much better this time around, then it's gotta be right!!! And he probably wants to start off slow bc hes leaving, so why take things further than can be done.. But he misses u so much bc he calls all day long, so ur always on his mind, the way I see it..And #2 is probably for the fact that you've always wanted him & Now u have him but dont want him.. Each guy probably plays a different role w/ the way you feel & what you want..And Im sure u know what you want deep down Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fierydesire Posted March 21 Author Report Share Posted March 21 Originally posted by hotbarbiedoll See he gets jealous bc he cares, or he would just be like whatever...And if its so much better this time around, then it's gotta be right!!! And he probably wants to start off slow bc hes leaving, so why take things further than can be done.. But he misses u so much bc he calls all day long, so ur always on his mind, the way I see it..And #2 is probably for the fact that you've always wanted him & Now u have him but dont want him.. Each guy probably plays a different role w/ the way you feel & what you want..And Im sure u know what you want deep down Thanx hun. he is coming back though he is just going to excavate in Turkey, the other guy well he is cool but I havent gotten signs he cares but he does call just as much maybe slightly less so IDK its soo confusing. I can have em both:tongue: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hotbarbiedoll Posted March 21 Report Share Posted March 21 Originally posted by fierydesire Thanx hun. he is coming back though he is just going to excavate in Turkey, the other guy well he is cool but I havent gotten signs he cares but he does call just as much maybe slightly less so IDK its soo confusing. I can have em both:tongue: Anytime babe.. Everything will work out eventually.. And since u can have them both, go for yours Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joeg Posted March 21 Report Share Posted March 21 just F as many guys as you want...it ups the average probability of guys getting laid if every girl is servicing more than 1 guy... as it is, girls outnumber guys... by having multiple partners the curve goes up nicely... (I think cintron would be proud of this post... :goofy: ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgym Posted March 21 Report Share Posted March 21 Well, myself and smurfette are fluttering on this balance beam as we speak.Speaking from a guy's perspective, yes i get jealous when she tells me she goes out with other guys, and my mind wonders what happens.But then again, she gets jealous when i tell her i even speak to another girl. So in a way, its balanced on a jealous scale. Im not really for it, but i have to face reality and realize that that's how it is for now.I mean, we have strong feelings for each other, and we both admit that. But she's not ready for a commitment, so we're trying this out for now.However, for zehra, i would say when true feelings of love emerge, and u want to be with only one guy, you better cut off the extra meat and tell the guy to let the birds fly~~~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fierydesire Posted March 21 Author Report Share Posted March 21 Originally posted by gmccookny However, for zehra, i would say when true feelings of love emerge, and u want to be with only one guy, you better cut off the extra meat and tell the guy to let the birds fly~~~ :laugh: cut off the extra meat, love it! Yea well I'm hoping when it comes to time cutting the extra meat off it will be easy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastey Posted March 21 Report Share Posted March 21 well IF you do, make sure all the people you "date" are okay about this situationi believe in dating multiple girlsi'm very selective about who i'm with so it takes me a along time to know if i want to be with this person or not because the person has to qualify herself to me. while i'm figuring out if i want to be with her, i won't be exclusivei´m searching for "the one", but i won't find her sitting around at home... you have to dig through a lot of dirt to find a diamondwhat would you do in my situation?....i am looking for the one, but i've been sooooooo disappointed in the past with the quality of women out there, thati am starting to believe that I'll never find her, so since i won't lower my standards on what THE ONE has to be... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fierydesire Posted March 21 Author Report Share Posted March 21 Originally posted by tastey well IF you do, make sure all the people you "date" are okay about this situationi believe in dating multiple girlsi'm very selective about who i'm with so it takes me a along time to know if i want to be with this person or not because the person has to qualify herself to me. while i'm figuring out if i want to be with her, i won't be exclusivei´m searching for "the one", but i won't find her sitting around at home... you have to dig through a lot of dirt to find a diamondwhat would you do in my situation?....i am looking for the one, but i've been sooooooo disappointed in the past with the quality of women out there, thati am starting to believe that I'll never find her, so since i won't lower my standards on what THE ONE has to be... I don't think Im searching for the "one" say yet so I think Im goodas for them all knowing well sometimes I express it and they should know or I tell them. One guy I havent told, IDK but I feel its hard to tell him. But he should know Im dating others we have no commitment or nothing:blank: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dgmodel Posted March 21 Report Share Posted March 21 Originally posted by fierydesire Have any of you done this? I'm not saying having several boyfriends/girlfriends at once but rather seeing a few different people at the same time. Would you say something is wrong with it or that it is perfectly fine? if youre not in any exclusive relationships, then why not??? its like interviewing for jobs... does one just interview at one place and wait to see if anything happends or do you go crazy and apply to everything and interview everywhere??? same with dating... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fierydesire Posted March 21 Author Report Share Posted March 21 Originally posted by dgmodel if youre not in any exclusive relationships, then why not??? its like interviewing for jobs... does one just interview at one place and wait to see if anything happends or do you go crazy and apply to everything and interview everywhere??? same with dating... k I can see your interview analogy but with interviews you generally don't tell the employer, BTW I'm going to the next employer. . . and so on. I guess its understood, which it should be sometimes in relationships don't ya think? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dgmodel Posted March 21 Report Share Posted March 21 absolutely... i know the chics i date know i date others, and vice versa... to not think so is simply naive... UNLESS youre in an exclusive relationship its safe to say youre partner is seeing other ppl... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
entheogen808 Posted March 21 Report Share Posted March 21 i always thought of dating as just what you described. dating to me means dating as many people as you want. it can get tricky and complicated once emotions develop, but that's also kinda the point. spend some time with various people to see which one clicks first/best, then consider pursuing it and taking it to a higher level of commitment like boy/girlfriendship. that openness that you described, fiery is something that can be a good basis for a serious relationship, even though for now, it's talking about your other relationships. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fierydesire Posted March 21 Author Report Share Posted March 21 Originally posted by entheogen808 i always thought of dating as just what you described. dating to me means dating as many people as you want. it can get tricky and complicated once emotions develop, but that's also kinda the point. spend some time with various people to see which one clicks first/best, then consider pursuing it and taking it to a higher level of commitment like boy/girlfriendship. that openness that you described, fiery is something that can be a good basis for a serious relationship, even though for now, it's talking about your other relationships. I agree. I like the openness I have with guy #1 cause if you can't be open with someone you care for then the relationship may not be as healthy. For example my g/f is with her b/f for sometime now but she can't disclose anything to him. Like if we go out or some shit, he gets all insecure thinking Im gonna help her pick up guys or what not when he doesn't even know how she is and thinks I'm the bad influence. She doesn't cheat on him but he thinks that when she is with me I will influence her ha, if he only knew about her past Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somebitch Posted March 21 Report Share Posted March 21 i dont think there is anything wrong with it... it is not like youre lying to him. some people go on the dont ask dont tell principle... meaning, they dont wanna hear what u do when your not with them, they wont tell u what they do either. if nothing has been said, im sure he sees other people too, he probably has just as much to hide and doesnt ask about you dating people for fear u may ask him the same. i agree with entheogen that the term dating means you can see whoever you want. it is not like youre in a relationship with either of them. on the other hand, i dont think it is right to be intimate with more than one person wihtout being open about it. i think sometimes knowing someone is fucking someone else may sway their decision of whether they want to be with u too. so if u are having sex with guy #2 and guy #1, i think you should at least give #2 the option of whether he wants to fuck u knowing youre fucking other people. then again, you dont know what he does either & maybe neither of u care... there are too many ifs. like would u still wanna see #2 if you knew for a fact he was fucking someone else (or 3 other people)?? lets say he was with someone the night before?? would you want to know or would you prefer to just keep it unknown and see it as when youre with him that is your time, last night was her time. sorry but that is nasty to me. i couldnt hang with someone like that. i ask questions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
entheogen808 Posted March 21 Report Share Posted March 21 Originally posted by somebitch i agree with entheogen that the term dating means you can see whoever you want. it is not like youre in a relationship with either of them. on the other hand, i dont think it is right to be intimate with more than one person wihtout being open about it. i think sometimes knowing someone is fucking someone else may sway their decision of whether they want to be with u too. so if u are having sex with guy #2 and guy #1, i think you should at least give #2 the option of whether he wants to fuck u knowing youre fucking other people. then again, you dont know what he does either & maybe neither of u care... there are too many ifs. like would u still wanna see #2 if you knew for a fact he was fucking someone else (or 3 other people)?? lets say he was with someone the night before?? would you want to know or would you prefer to just keep it unknown and see it as when youre with him that is your time, last night was her time. sorry but that is nasty to me. i couldnt hang with someone like that. i ask questions. yeah, strictly from a safety standpoint, i'd like to know wether sex was involved or not. even though i've done it, i have been honest, but vague about my sexual activities with other partners. then it's just a matter of trust, and hope that when your partner is with others, he/she is being safe, and always be safe when having multiple partners. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fierydesire Posted March 21 Author Report Share Posted March 21 I'm pretty sure #2 isnt like that meaning sleeping with several girls at once. #1 knows abt what I do cause he can do it as well so I don't mind. ugh refering them to 1 and 2 reminds me of austin powers:laugh: But if #2 wants to bang some other chick it isnt my place to tell him not to ya know cause I'm doing it too.As for him having a chick the nite before I can see where it is nasty but that would be a double standard cause I have done that like been with #1 and then #2 the day after or days after. Yea reading this makes me think its nasty but yet its all fun in games cause why should I be obligated to sleep with one person if I'm not serious with them:blank: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fierydesire Posted March 21 Author Report Share Posted March 21 Originally posted by entheogen808 yeah, strictly from a safety standpoint, i'd like to know wether sex was involved or not. even though i've done it, i have been honest, but vague about my sexual activities with other partners. then it's just a matter of trust, and hope that when your partner is with others, he/she is being safe, and always be safe when having multiple partners. I see what your saying and I know from the safety standpoint I use condoms all the time. So do these guys b/c #2 ALWAYS uses one I have known for what 7 years now and #1 for 2 years plus I took his cherry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somebitch Posted March 21 Report Share Posted March 21 Originally posted by fierydesire As for him having a chick the nite before I can see where it is nasty but that would be a double standard cause I have done that like been with #1 and then #2 the day after or days after. Yea reading this makes me think its nasty but yet its all fun in games cause why should I be obligated to sleep with one person if I'm not serious with them:blank: IDK. i dont think you should be. i would still wanna know who someone was with the night before if i am gonna let them touch me and stuff. i am cheesy like that. ive done the same thing in the past, dated a few people and was intimate with them but they both knew and i knew what they were doing... i feel bad doing that now though, + theres too much risk involved. no matter how safe u r, you dont know who they are with. i know some people who are like that with lots of people ("dating") and they arent people i would wanna ever touch... this one girl i know dates different guys all the time. so shes fucking guys who seem OK but shes nasty. your guys could be fucking her. thats how i see it hehe. id rather just get myself off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fierydesire Posted March 21 Author Report Share Posted March 21 Originally posted by somebitch IDK. i dont think you should be. i would still wanna know who someone was with the night before if i am gonna let them touch me and stuff. i am cheesy like that. ive done the same thing in the past, dated a few people and was intimate with them but they both knew and i knew what they were doing... i feel bad doing that now though, + theres too much risk involved. no matter how safe u r, you dont know who they are with. i know some people who are like that with lots of people ("dating") and they arent people i would wanna ever touch... this one girl i know dates different guys all the time. so shes fucking guys who seem OK but shes nasty. your guys could be fucking her. thats how i see it hehe. id rather just get myself off. I see what your saying and I have thought of all the possible outcomes ya know. Like #1 tells me everything he does and who he is with, I even meet some of them as he meets guys I date. As for #2 I don't think he is with other people, I may be naive but ya know when you can get that sense Eh IDK, all I do know is that I am trying to have fun and enjoy my youth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somebitch Posted March 21 Report Share Posted March 21 Originally posted by fierydesire I see what your saying and I have thought of all the possible outcomes ya know. Like #1 tells me everything he does and who he is with, I even meet some of them as he meets guys I date. As for #2 I don't think he is with other people, I may be naive but ya know when you can get that sense Eh IDK, all I do know is that I am trying to have fun and enjoy my youth the girl im talking about being nasty is the same girl who is uncouth. i know what u mean though, i dont know whats right and wrong & every situation has so many facets. just go with your feelings & have fun. i am not at all saying what youre doing is wrong, i am just saying be careful... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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