njstacked2 Posted May 2 Report Share Posted May 2 An interesting read...Moo you will probably laugh like a monkey when you read this then whack off all over your monitor!...My little Guido Bitch.Tired of waiting endlessly in Parkway traffic on your way down theshore?If you're like most of us, there's a good chance you've spent countlesshours staring at the back of the same bumper, riding your brake and havepossibly developed a minor case of whiplash from the stop-and-go thatoneencounters while attempting to arrive at the New Jersey Shore. Travelers fear no more! I have the solution.- THE GUIDO EXPRESS LANE --The proposed Guido Express Lane, or G.E.L., is structured identically tothe H.O.V. lanes introduced in the late 90's across much of NJ, NY andPAThe following requirements for access to the G.E.L. will apply to allvehicle occupants:- Cut-off shirts or wife beaters must be worn at all times. If thevehicleis a convertible, no shirts are allowed.- Capri pants must be worn. Addidas pants are acceptable only withmatchingjackets and a Kangol hat.- All vehicle occupants must have identical haircuts - spiked all around(including the back) or must have shaved heads. All sideburns must be shaved to a point.- All body hair must be completely shaven.- All vehicles in the G.E.L. must be considered "exotic" or "luxurycars,"but must be paid for by the driver's parents.- Vehicle must contain at least 13 pounds of fake silver bracelets andnecklaces. Necklaces may only be loose enough to allow minimalbreathing.- Should any member(s) of the vehicle fail to comply with any one of theaforementioned requirements, said member(s) will receive a two-monthsuspension from Joey's in Clifton and Tempts.In addition to the obvious ecological benefits, the proposed G.E.L.wouldalso provide the following free of charge:- Upon entering the G.E.L., the vehicle's radio would automatically be tuned to a satellite feed of "shiny disco balls"or "darkbeat" you get achoice ofeither one.- The center divider would be lined with Sunburst Ultra Sun 4000 seriestanning lamps which would run 24 hours a day to ensure a perfectpre-beach/club complexion.To become a G.E.L. member, you must be Italian (or try really hard tolookItalian) and test positive for steroids.So the next time you're at a dead stop at exit 117 for two hours, take anote, call your congressman and tell him"yes" to the G.E.L Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kermzy Posted May 2 Report Share Posted May 2 Something about seeing something for the 60th time makes it less and less funny... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xrapturex Posted May 2 Report Share Posted May 2 Thats gotta be one of the funniest things i have ever read...LOL:laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
njstacked2 Posted May 2 Author Report Share Posted May 2 Kermy...sorry there...I should have known that you read that....Now get a job bitch! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tommyarmani Posted May 2 Report Share Posted May 2 pump Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
themoo Posted May 2 Report Share Posted May 2 Originally posted by njstacked2 An interesting read...Moo you will probably laugh like a monkey when you read this then whack off all over your monitor!...My little Guido Bitch.Tired of waiting endlessly in Parkway traffic on your way down theshore?If you're like most of us, there's a good chance you've spent countlesshours staring at the back of the same bumper, riding your brake and havepossibly developed a minor case of whiplash from the stop-and-go thatoneencounters while attempting to arrive at the New Jersey Shore. Travelers fear no more! I have the solution.- THE GUIDO EXPRESS LANE --The proposed Guido Express Lane, or G.E.L., is structured identically tothe H.O.V. lanes introduced in the late 90's across much of NJ, NY andPAThe following requirements for access to the G.E.L. will apply to allvehicle occupants:- Cut-off shirts or wife beaters must be worn at all times. If thevehicleis a convertible, no shirts are allowed.- Capri pants must be worn. Addidas pants are acceptable only withmatchingjackets and a Kangol hat.- All vehicle occupants must have identical haircuts - spiked all around(including the back) or must have shaved heads. All sideburns must be shaved to a point.- All body hair must be completely shaven.- All vehicles in the G.E.L. must be considered "exotic" or "luxurycars,"but must be paid for by the driver's parents.- Vehicle must contain at least 13 pounds of fake silver bracelets andnecklaces. Necklaces may only be loose enough to allow minimalbreathing.- Should any member(s) of the vehicle fail to comply with any one of theaforementioned requirements, said member(s) will receive a two-monthsuspension from Joey's in Clifton and Tempts.In addition to the obvious ecological benefits, the proposed G.E.L.wouldalso provide the following free of charge:- Upon entering the G.E.L., the vehicle's radio would automatically be tuned to a satellite feed of "shiny disco balls"or "darkbeat" you get achoice ofeither one.- The center divider would be lined with Sunburst Ultra Sun 4000 seriestanning lamps which would run 24 hours a day to ensure a perfectpre-beach/club complexion.To become a G.E.L. member, you must be Italian (or try really hard tolookItalian) and test positive for steroids.So the next time you're at a dead stop at exit 117 for two hours, take anote, call your congressman and tell him"yes" to the G.E.L I had that posted on NJGUIDO last year. It's funny as hell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
njstacked2 Posted May 2 Author Report Share Posted May 2 Moo it is pretty funny.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tommyarmani Posted May 2 Report Share Posted May 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kermzy Posted May 2 Report Share Posted May 2 Originally posted by njstacked2 Kermy...sorry there...I should have known that you read that....Now get a job bitch! Yes you should have known, but that would imply that you actually think... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
njstacked2 Posted May 2 Author Report Share Posted May 2 Bitch...any clue what I do for a living? Exactly...I need to think from 7:45 to 7:30 at night...Do not ever insult my thinking skills or my intelligence. Although you are probably using derivatives to Delta Hedge, Trading billions of dollars and staring at 3 flat screen monitors. Right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kermzy Posted May 2 Report Share Posted May 2 Originally posted by njstacked2 Bitch...any clue what I do for a living? Exactly...I need to think from 7:45 to 7:30 at night...Do not ever insult my thinking skills or my intelligence. Although you are probably using derivatives to Delta Hedge, Trading billions of dollars and staring at 3 flat screen monitors. Right? Okay sweet dear, did you not notice the at the end of my statement? I know NOTHING about you...don't get so defensive about a statement I would have made to anybody. G'day! Sincerely,Bitchxoxo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badassmafuka Posted May 2 Report Share Posted May 2 I am thinking how I can get out of work early Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amercali Posted May 2 Report Share Posted May 2 tempts on sat? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
njstacked2 Posted May 2 Author Report Share Posted May 2 AMERI...NO ONLY SURF FOR ME! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piro8 Posted May 2 Report Share Posted May 2 Originally posted by njstacked2 AMERI...NO ONLY SURF FOR ME! What's up Stacked? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
njstacked2 Posted May 2 Author Report Share Posted May 2 HEY AL.........SEE YOU SUNDAY! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.