A Realists Definitions

[trancerxn112]

FRIEND:

Definition of a person of the opposite sex who has that "Je ne sais quoi"

which eliminates any desire to ever try and sleep with them..

PESSIMIST:

Optimist with experience

PSYCHOLOGIST:

Someone who looks at everyone else when an attractive woman enters the room.

UROLOGIST:

Someone who looks at your penis with disdain, touches it with disgust, then

charges you as if he'd sucked it.

LOVE:

Four-letter word, two vowels, two consonants and two idiots.

DANCING:

The vertical frustration of a horizontal desire.

HEADACHE:

Method of contraception most widely used by women.

INTELLECTUAL:

Someone capable of thinking for more than 2 hours about something other than

sex.

PITIFUL:

Someone with an erection who walks into a wall and breaks his nose.

TONGUE:

Sexual organ which some degenerates use for the purpose of speech.

MONOGAMY:

Repressed polygamy.

NANOSECOND:

Fraction of time which occurs between the lights turning green and the car

behind honking its horn.

NYMPHOMANIAC:

Term applied by men to any woman who wants sex more than he does.

TEAMWORK:

The possibility of putting the blame on others.

INTERVIEW:

That which can be seen between the interviewee's legs.

ETERNITY:

Period of time which lasts from when you finished until when you leave her

in her house.

EASY:

Term applied to any woman with the sexual morals of a man.

HARDWARE:

The part of the computer which you kick when the software malfunctions.

IMPATIENCE:

Waiting in a hurry.

INDIFFERENCE:

Attitude adopted by a woman towards a man in whom she has no interest;

interpreted by the man as "playing hard to get".

QUANTUM PHYSICS:

A black man, looking in the shadows for a black cat ~~