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R U Gay?


bbbooom

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How to tell if you're gay:

1. If you are over 30 and you have a washboardstomach, you are gay.

It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with

the boys and rather you've been sucking-off the boys and have spent the

rest of your free time doing

sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.

2. If you have a cat, you are a flaaaayming fag. A cat is like a dog, but

gay:

it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate

touch except when it uses its nails, and

whines to be fed.

And just think about how you call a dog..."Killer, come here! I said get

your ass over here!"

Now think about how you call a cat...

"Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!"

Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.

3. If you suck on lolipops, Ring-Pops, baby-pacifiers, or any such

nonsense, rest assured, you are a gaylord.

A straight man only sucks bar-b-q ribs, crab-claws, raw oysters, craw-fish

guts, pickled pigs feet, or titties.

Anything else and you are in training to suck El Dicko and undeniably a

fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking

lot, you're in a deep homosexual

relationship. A man's world is his bathroom, he defecates and urinates

where he pleases.

5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard one in

the poop-chute. Coffe is to be had strong,

black (or with thick, wholesome milk) and full-aroma. A pussy-eating man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim" and he will never, ever know what artificial sweetner tastes like. If you've had Nutrasweet in your mouth,you've had a dick there too.

6. If you know more than six names of colors or four different types of dessert,

you might as well be handing out free passes to your ass. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap as well as all the names of all the players in the Major league, NFL,NBA, college ball, PGA, and Nascar. If you can pick out chartreusse or you know what a "fresier" is you're gay.

And if you can name ANY type of textile other than denim, you are

faggadocious!

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it...you're hungry for

a meat-popsicle.

A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to

cut the motherfucker off.

The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat

his hamburger, hold his beer,

finger the bi-atch in the passenger seat (whoever she happens to be), or,

if he's Latino, talk on his cell-phone.

8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mon-frere, vous sonnez

le Gay, oui?

The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with a woman who

knows how to reward her man.

Watching any of the above films by yourself or with another man is likely

to result in SHC

(spontaneous homosexual combustion), which is what happens to fags when

they flame out too quickly.

So follow the rules and beware...or keep that shit to yourself, faggo. "One out of every four people in this world is mentally unstable. Think of your three best friends. If they seem normal you're the one"

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Originally posted by dgmodel

i dont need a list to know im gay, whenever i doubt myself i just rollover and ask my boyfriend... then he tells me "how many times do i have to tell you silly, youre not gay~!"

Dammit DG, it's pronounced thilly!!!

Get it right Feg...

:ghey:

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