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How old am I?

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A middle-aged woman decides to have a face-lift for her birthday.

She spends $5,000.00 and feels pretty good about the results. On her

way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving she

says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you

think I am?"

"About 32," was the reply.

"I'm exactly 47," the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl, "H ow old do you think I am?"

"I guess about 29.

"The woman replies, "Nope, I'm 47."

Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drugstore on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question.

The clerk, "Oh, I'd say 30."

Again she proudly responds, "I am 47, but thank you."

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man the same question.

He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was

young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds kind

of forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then

I can tell you exactly how old you are."

They waited in silence on the empty street until curiosity got the best of her. She finally blurts out, "What the heck ... go ahead."

He slips both of his hands under her blouse and under her bra and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully.

After a couple of minutes of this she says, "Okay, okay, that's enough, ... how old am I?"

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands and says,

"Madam, you are 47."

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible ... how could

You possibly know that from a feel of my breasts?"

The old man replies, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's!"

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