vulva-lover74 Posted January 7 Report Share Posted January 7 Morning Bostonians,heres a brief(!) rundown of what sort of shennanigans you can expect come the summer.I wasnt going to mention it,but a few of you have asked.But please,stick with it til the end, cos it WILL make sense.(This will be the one and only time i mention it cos i'd rather talk about clubbing,music and getting wasted). The reason we're heading across is cos the U.S. soccer team are playing a couple of friendlies against Scotland and Ireland.Those games are probably getting played in WDC and NYC,but Boston is hosting the Scotland v Ireland game for obvious reasons. BUT....the match itself is really just a sideshow cos Scotland fans (aka the tartan Army) and the Irish dont go to football matches for the game,we go for the PARTAAY.Unlike the English who have still have a hooligan problem.(although to be fair,its not always them who start it).... Dont believe me? then heres the proof:Recently: 30,000 Scots headed to Paris for a midweek friendly against France(no trouble);17,000 Scots headed to Dortmund for a competitive game against the Germans(no trouble);80,000 Scots and Irish fans went to Seville in Spain for a GlasgowCeltic game even though only 35,000 of them had tickets!(with only 4 arrests,probably cos they were lifting their kilts up to take a pish against a lamppost The citizens of Seville didnt know what had hit them,although they've already asked us when we're coming back ) and 2 months ago 20,000 Scots spent 3 days in Amsterdam for an important match against the Dutch.In the days leading up to the game,the Dutch authorities and police were on the television BEGGING as many of us to get down there because of the reputation we've got.Even the working girls in the red light district were offering their services to anyone in a kilt at HALFPRICE :laugh: Although im glad i wasnt there cos the Dutch team slaughtered us 6-0:laugh:...and all you could hear in the background was the Scots singing "ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE DA DOO, DA DOO DA DOO DA DOO"In fact,the good people of Boston should be able to relate to us Scots as "glorious failures" because (im sorry if i get this bit wrong) you havent picked up the world series since Bambino was strutting his stuff, the celtics havent picked up the title for, what, nearly 20 years? Although i can still remember watching that geezer,Adam whasisname kick the winning points for the Patriots a couple of seasons ago from the halfway line. SO THERE! That'll teach you for asking why we're coming! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaydup Posted January 7 Report Share Posted January 7 Vulva: An Owner's Manual by Susan Motamed So, what's a vulva? The vulva is the whole female genital "package": labia, clitoris, and vagina. This part of our anatomy gets called: vagina, coochie, woo-woo, "down there," and probably some names I've never even heard. Because women's genitals, unlike men's, are hidden, they can seem mysterious, confusing, and even shameful in a way that's usually not the case with the handy-dandy penis. Let's eliminate the mystery — every woman has a vulva. It's the source of most of pleasure in sex for women, so it's a good idea to get to know it well and to learn to enjoy it's many wonders. Don't be shy! Some women get to know their bodies by taking a good look at their vulvas. This can be done by standing or sitting over a mirror and looking at the vulva. (I'm serious!) Examining the vulva allows a woman to recognize these common parts and also notice how the vulva is unique. The parts: outer labia inner labia clitoris clitoral hood urethra vagina THE BIG ISSUES LABIA: The word labia means "lips" in Latin. The outer labia are two folds of skin and fatty tissue that are covered with pubic hair after puberty and more or less hide the rest of the vulva. They can be large or small, short or long, and even (like breasts) two different sizes. This is all normal and part of what makes us each unique. They can be sexually sensitive and can swell a little when a woman gets turned on. The inner labia are also sensitive and can swell up when you're aroused. These are the folds of skin that go from the clitoral hood to below the vagina. Some people think they look like wings. The inner labia can vary in color from pink to brownish black depending on the color of a woman's skin. Like nipples, the inner labia can change color as women mature. Sometimes they stick out from between the outer labia, and they can be wrinkled or smooth. CLITORIS: The clitoris is located beneath the point where the inner labia meet. The head, or glans, of the clitoris may appear to be smaller than a pea or bigger than a fingertip. But only the tip of the clitoris can be seen at the top of the vulva in the soft folds where the labia meet, under the skin of the clitoral hood. The rest of the spongy shaft of the clitoris reaches inside the body up to more than five inches! It can come in different sizes, and it can have different levels of sensitivity. Like the penis, the clitoris becomes stiff and swollen during arousal. Unlike the penis, the clitoris is designed only for pleasure. The clitoris is the pleasure center of the vulva. It's a pretty cool organ. It doesn't have a central role in intercourse and reproduction like the penis and the vagina do. The clitoris is basically there just to make women feel good! And it is SUPER sensitive: the clitoris has about a bazillion nerve endings in it — actually 8,000 — twice as many as the penis! This can be good news and bad news. While the clitoris is made for intense pleasure, for a lot of women, it can be too sensitive to touch directly. To get the maximum mileage out of this organ, women need to tell their partners how they like to be touched. MASTURBATION: Touching or stroking one's own genitals to feel good — with or without orgasm — is called masturbation. Everyone seems to know that guys masturbate, but, HELLO, girls do it, too. A girl usually masturbates by rubbing her clitoris with her fingers, but there are a lot of ways to masturbate. Many women enjoy inserting their fingers or other objects into their vaginas during masturbation. Masturbation is perfectly normal. It's also normal not to masturbate The good news about masturbation is that besides being fun and feeling good, it can help people get to know what feels good, so they can help their partners please them better. It's also a freebie — it has virtually no risk of pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections VAGINA, HYMEN, & VIRGINITY: The vagina is the passage that connects a woman's outer sex organs — the vulva — with the cervix and uterus. It's often called the birth canal because it's the way the fetus is pushed out of the body during childbirth. This is where menstrual fluid leaves the body and the penis goes during vaginal intercourse. The vagina often has skin at the opening that is called a hymen. Some girls have hymens that totally cover their vagina, and some girls have so little hymenal tissue they may seem to have no hymen at all. The hymen can stretch open at first sexual intercourse, through masturbation, or while participating in sports. A lot of people think that if the hymen is not intact , you aren't a virgin and that if the hymen is intact, you are a virgin. So what's a virgin? Well, technically it's a person who has never had sexual intercourse. But there are so many kinds of sex play that are used as sexual intercourse, that this is a somewhat vague term, especially for partners of the same sex. DISCHARGE AND SMELLS: This is probably the biggest source of concern about the vulva. Like most of the human body, the vulva can be a little bit messy. During puberty, the vagina starts to produce a discharge that can be, white, or clear. It is called leukorrhea. This is the self-cleaning feature of your vulva. Seriously. Discharge carries germs and other unwanted stuff out of the vagina. And when we're ovulating or turned on, our vaginas produce a different clear, slippery discharge that's also a natural lubricant. People seem to think that the vulva (getting used to that word yet?) smells bad. Other people love the smell of the vulva. Okay. The vulva has a characteristic scent, but if it's healthy the smell is not unpleasant. If your vulva smells really bad, fishy, or yeasty, or any other strong, unpleasant odor, see a health practitioner. An unpleasantly smelly discharge can be a sign of a vaginal or other infection that should be treated right away. HEALTH & HYGEINE: In an effort to eliminate all natural smells and discharges, a lot of women and girls use douches and feminine deodorants. Remember that the vagina is self-cleaning, so douching is unnecessary. Regular douching can disturb the balance of the normal amount of bacteria found in the vagina which is one way a woman can get vaginitis, an inflammation of the vagina. If you want to keep your vulva fresh and healthy, take good care of yourself. Eat well, exercise, always wipe from front to back, and wash regularly with gentle soap and water. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vulva-lover74 Posted January 7 Author Report Share Posted January 7 You spelt Foetus wrong............and odour.Glad to be of service. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaydup Posted January 7 Report Share Posted January 7 Originally posted by vulva-lover74 You spelt Foetus wrong............and odour.Glad to be of service. NO Susan Motamed did Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vulva-lover74 Posted January 7 Author Report Share Posted January 7 thats what you get for not checking.PM's on its way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xlr8ted Posted January 7 Report Share Posted January 7 When and where is the friendly in Boston? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vulva-lover74 Posted January 7 Author Report Share Posted January 7 Foxboro stadium,but im not sure if its the last saturday in may or the first saturday in june.Come to think of it,getting accomodation in Boston is gonna be a fvckin nightmare.And of course the numbers of Scots and Irish flying across depends on whether those arseholes in Al Qaieda throw a spanner in the works.Even if the match is cancelled,i'm still coming across though.I was thinking about bringing a load of vinyl across,spin a few tunes,but ive heard stories from the likes of Digweed and Oakenfold that their flightcases (containing rare plastic and DAT shit)have 'mysteriously' vanished in cargo holds.But then thats what they get when they plaster their flightcases with flyers,stickers,paraphinalia and IM A SUPERSTAR DJ all over them so i think i'll leave my vinyl at home,but if someone takes me to Massachusettes Ave and Newbury St for some vinyl shopping (BostonBeat etc) that'll be sweet. Especially if they have some of that classic shit from 1988-1993. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stymie Posted January 7 Report Share Posted January 7 Oh wow. You spin classics, youll fit right in here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xlr8ted Posted January 7 Report Share Posted January 7 I'm def gonna hit up that game. I was close to going to the Man U game in DC last summer.... But then they got rid of Beckham, so we decided not to head down... damn Real Madrid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaydup Posted January 7 Report Share Posted January 7 Originally posted by stymie Oh wow. You spin classics, youll fit right in here. Your still in Jersey huh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fouroneone Posted January 7 Report Share Posted January 7 Originally posted by kaydup Your still in Jersey huh :laugh: :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fouroneone Posted January 7 Report Share Posted January 7 Stymie:How was Denise lookin on NYE? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stymie Posted January 7 Report Share Posted January 7 good Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vulva-lover74 Posted January 7 Author Report Share Posted January 7 Good player,Beckham.Even the Scots have a healthy admiration for him,despite him being the England captain.as for his missus......just dont get me fvckin started on that talentless whench.By the way,heres a prediction:i reckon at the rate the USA football team is going,it wont be long before you reach the World Cup Final.Which will be some achievement considering Scotlands been trying to get past the 1st round since 1950:laugh: Or the Boston Red Sox syndrome as im now calling it:D Speaking of which,if anyone fancies taking me to a Sox game (providing they're still in it by then),im up for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xlr8ted Posted January 7 Report Share Posted January 7 I was over in Spain 2 summers ago and watched the first 2 weeks of the world cup, people were going crazy. Drinking started w/ the first game of the day around 7am, by noon everyone was piss drunk on the beach. Some peple were fighting in the bars, it was great. People were congradulating us for making it to the second round, too funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fouroneone Posted January 7 Report Share Posted January 7 Originally posted by stymie good how good? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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