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Originally posted by joeg

I believe in a merge of emotions, not finances.

Well...so do i. But...marriage is also about security.

Not just emotional security, but financial as well.

How would you be able to share a family, pets, house, and other luxuries with a barrier that substantial lingering.

Sorry...I'm not about money...and those who know me know that....but a prenup just wouldn't fly.

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Originally posted by marcid21

Well...so do i. But...marriage is also about security.

Not just emotional security, but financial as well.

How would you be able to share a family, pets, house, and other luxuries with a barrier that substantial lingering.

Sorry...I'm not about money...and those who know me know that....but a prenup just wouldn't fly.

hmmm... so the wedding is off??? :confused:

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Originally posted by tastyt

IMO, anyone planning for divorce before the marriage even happens is setting themself up for failure.

Call me old-fashioned if you will... :rolleyes:

OLD FASHIONED!

heheh, but i feel the same way. Sometimes its good to be old fashioned :tongue:

Hey Daniella :)

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Originally posted by tastyt

IMO, anyone planning for divorce before the marriage even happens is setting themself up for failure.

Call me old-fashioned if you will... :rolleyes:

anyone who goes on living thinking theyll never get sick is setting themselves up for failure, anyone who drives thinking they wont ever get into an accident is setting themselves up for failure... anyone who doesnt take precautionary measures anywhere in life is setting themselves up for failure... like they always said "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure..." im not making this shit up, ppl get divorced left and right... and just because we say i do, doesnt entitle anyone to half of all my hard work, especially since it was accrued before we ever met and more importantly done on MY OWN~!!! maybe nowadays since ppl are living longer and women are being treated a lil more equally, and are gainfully employed as well maybe some laws, and regulations need to be rewritten no??? times were different back then, women couldnt work, so of course it makes sense to have to support them and or give them alimony or what have you if you part... however whatever happend to the "hopechest"??? why is that some how lost in the cracks??? but more importantly, women employed (of course some may argue not equally paid but thats a different argument and i agree on that), theyre independant, they file their own taxes, they make their own money, they even have their own homes... there is no damn reason, (unless theres children involved) that you get half my shit when you already have your own shit even if not, you have the ability to get your own shit... "till death do us part..." man alive, ppl back then were dying when they were in their twenties... and didnt have shit... so if your marriage wasnt working out who gives a fuck youll be dead by next week anyway... whatever... who cares... im just curious why here and now in nyc or nys if a woman makes more than a man, and has more than a man if they part the man still gets nothing but a big goose egg... why~!?~?!~?~!?~?!~?!?~!?

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Originally posted by hotbarbiedoll

I have mixed feelings on this subject. However, by asking to sign a prenup, I feel like the person who is asking doesn't have 100% trust and faith in the marriage. So it's basically not about the topic at hand..just more about finding it offensive.

actually it is right on topic:

Originally posted by dgmodel

do you think its wrong to have a prenup??? ladies would you take offense if your husband wanted to sign a prenup???

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One does not get sick, or get into an accident on purpose... marriage, on the other hand, is something that is planned, and it is not an inevitability. Honestly, if divorce is such a big concern, why even bother getting married? Why not just live together without any type of legal binding? Only the most naive person would say that their marriage could NEVER end in divorce- of course we all know it's a possibility- but I think Lee was right when she said that "I feel like the person who is asking doesn't have 100% trust and faith in the marriage." If you haven't invested your complete faith and commitment in your marriage and your partner from the word "go," how can you expect it to last?

Frankly, I'm very surprised by some of the responses on this thread... like a pre-nup should be a given, or something. But- I do agree with you that in this day and age there should be some type of revision to the alimony laws. Anyway, as (probably) the only person in this thread who is actually going to be married in the forseeable future... I can't help but wonder, when you've all actually found that person you want to share the rest of your life with, how many of you will still be thinking about handing out a pre-nup at the same time.

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Originally posted by tastyt

but I think Lee was right when she said that "I feel like the person who is asking doesn't have 100% trust and faith in the marriage."

maybe one shouldnt be trusted if they cant sign a lousy piece of paper... what is the difference if we're going to be together forever anyway what do you care if you sign it or not???

Originally posted by tastyt

If you haven't invested your complete faith and commitment in your marriage and your partner from the word "go," how can you expect it to last?

who said the one asking for the pre-nup hasnt invested their faith and commitment??? im just saying with everything in life limit your risk...

Originally posted by tastyt

I can't help but wonder, when you've all actually found that person you want to share the rest of your life with, how many of you will still be thinking about handing out a pre-nup at the same time.

if shes getting a ring, its coming with a pre-nup. bottom line... if she cant sign it, then maybe then she has a hidden agenda... who knows, who cares...

why is it such a big deal~!? i dont get it, if the couple is going to be together forever, then why not just sign it??? it wont mean a thing, anyway...

eh whatever i think debating this could on for days if not months or who knows how long, ppl see things differently... but im glad we see eye to eye on the revisions portion...

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But instead of taking a pre nup as a precaution, why not take time and patience as a precaution.

Pre-nup isn't fool-proof. If people just took their time to get married and didn't rush into it, im sure there wouldn't be as many divorces.

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Originally posted by dgmodel

maybe one shouldnt be trusted if they cant sign a lousy piece of paper... what is the difference if we're going to be together forever anyway what do you care if you sign it or not???

but that's the thing... it isn't a lousy piece of paper,,, it's something binding on both parties, costs a good deal of money, involves lawyers... yadda yadda

who said the one asking for the pre-nup hasnt invested their faith and commitment??? im just saying with everything in life limit your risk...

I feel limiting risks in life is important. But when it comes to marriage, going into it planning an end is just going to lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy...

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Originally posted by gmccookny

I feel limiting risks in life is important. But when it comes to marriage, going into it planning an end is just going to lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy...

so by getting life and health insurance are you going to suffer an untimely demise??? or are you just covering yourself JUST IN CASE~!?

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Originally posted by dgmodel

anyone who goes on living thinking theyll never get sick is setting themselves up for failure, anyone who drives thinking they wont ever get into an accident is setting themselves up for failure... anyone who doesnt take precautionary measures anywhere in life is setting themselves up for failure...

its like an insurance policy for a failed marriage.... i like that...

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Originally posted by joeg

its like an insurance policy for a failed marriage.... i like that...

But see! Thats exactly what i've been saying.

You're pre-supposing that the marriage will end in failure. Therefore, you're setting yourself up for a failed marriage even b4 it gets started!

And i quote a friend of mine from work here: "Pre nups are for people who are rich and who don't trust their spouses" :laugh:

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...did y'all see Intolerable Cruelty?...perfect movie application...as shitty as the movie was...idk man...i can understand how people consider it but i do think it addresses part of what is wrong in america/world today...we've become such a "me" society it's pathetic....but it's sad on both sides...that there are people that violate trust and take advantage of a sacred institution by obtaining such high royalties they really dont deserve...and that people now have to consider and worry about whether or not they are going to get played...it reminds me of when a homeless person asks me for money....i should just give blindly - but knowing that some just go get drugs with it - or are not as bad as they may appear - or that they could be setting up to rob me...those possibilities can cause me to pause...and in cases such as that, and in marriage - we should not have to pause...

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Originally posted by gmccookny

You're pre-supposing that the marriage will end in failure. Therefore, you're setting yourself up for a failed marriage even b4 it gets started!

no... its being realistic...

"But uhh, a thug changes, and love changes

and best friends become strangers, word up"

by having a pre-nup, you're protecting yourself IN CASE it fails.. as non-romantic as that sounds... do you really want to be sitting in court when the judge hands down the decision and you have to pay more than you get to keep and give away half of what you've worked all your life for?

we don't plan to get skin cancer, but we wear sunblock "just incase"

ok, heres a better way to look at it:

married couples have life insurance, right? incase 1 of them dies, the other is protected...

marko: nah, i think rich people need it just as much as the poor... 3 words: "standard of living"

your bills are a hell of a lot higher, and harder to get rid of on short notice.

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