2004 Darwin Awards!!!

[HAZE]

2004 Darwin Awards

They are finally out again. You all know about the Darwin

Awards - Its an Annual honor given to the person who did

the gene pool the biggest service by killing themselves

in the most extraordinarily stupid way.

Last year's winner was the fellow who was killed by a

Coke machine which toppled over on top of him as he was

attempting to tip a free soda out of it.

And the nominees are:

1.) A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting

drunk cheaply, because he had no money with which to buy

alcohol, mixed gasoline with milk. Not surprisingly, this

concoction made him ill, and he vomited into the

fireplace in his house. This resulting in an explosion and fire

burned his house down, killing both him and his sister.

2.) Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft

at low altitude when another plane approached. It appears

that they decided to moon the occupants of the other

plane, but lost control of their own aircraft and

crashed. They were all found dead in the wreckage with

their pants around their ankles.

3.) A 22-year-old Reston, Va., man was

found dead after he tried to use octopus straps to bungee

jump off a 70-foot railroad trestle. FairfaxCounty

police said Eric Barcia, a fast-food worker, taped a

bunch of these straps together, wrapped one end around

one foot, anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake

Accotink Park, jumped and hit the pavement. Warren

Carmichael, a police spokesman, said investigators think

Barcia was alone because his car was found nearby. "The

length of the cord that he had assembled was greater than

the distance between the trestle and the ground,"

Carmichaelsaid. Police say the apparent cause of death

was "Major trauma."

4.) A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. It

seems that he and a friend were playing a game of catch,

using the rattlesnake as a ball. The friend, no doubt a

future DarwinAwards candidate, was hospitalized.

5.) Employee in a medium-sized warehouse in west Texas

noticed the smell of a gas presumed a leak. Sensibly,

management evacuated the building extinguishing all

potential sources of ignition: lights, power, etc. After

the building had been evacuated, two "technicians" from

the gas company were dispatched. Upon entering the

building, they found they had difficulty navigating in

the dark. To their frustration, none of the lights

worked. Witnesses later described the sight of one of the

technicians reaching into his pocket and retrieving an

object that resembled a cigarette lighter. Upon operation

of the lighter like object, the gas in the warehouse

exploded, sending pieces of the warehouse up to three

miles away. Nothing was found of the technicians, but the

lighter, being at the exact center of the resulting

mêlée, was virtually untouched by the explosion. The

"technician" suspected of causing the blast, had never

been thought of by his peers as "all there."

And the Winner:

Rated (XXXX) and 4 stars for pain. Just for Golf lovers.........

6.) Based on a bet by the other members of his golfing

threesome, Everett Sanchez tried to wash his own "balls"

in a ball washer at the local golf course. Proving once

again that beer and testosterone are a bad mix, Sanchez

managed to straddle the ball washer and dangle his

scrotum in the machine. Much to his dismay, one of his

buddies upped the ante by spinning the crank on the

machine with Sanchez's scrotum in place, thus wedging

them solidly in the mechanism. Sanchez, who immediately

passed his threshold of pain, collapsed and tumbled from

his perch. Unfortunately for Sanchez, the post of the

ball washer was more than strong enough to support his

body weight, and his sack was the weakest link. Sanchez's

scrotum was ripped open during the fall, and one testicle

was plucked from him forever and remained in the ball

washer, while the other testicle was compressed and

flattened as it was pulled between the housing of the

washer, and the rotating machinery inside. To add insult

to injury, Sanchez then broke a new $300.00 graphite

shaft driver that he had just purchased from the pro

shop, and was attempting to use as a cane. Sanchez was

rushed to the hospital for surgery, and the remaining

threesome was asked to leave the course.

This last one wouldn't normally count, because the golfer

didn't die. But because he cannot reproduce as a result

of his qualifying act of stupidity, we have allowed it.

[chrismakk69]

6.) Based on a bet by the other members of his golfing

threesome, Everett Sanchez tried to wash his own "balls"

in a ball washer at the local golf course. Proving once

again that beer and testosterone are a bad mix, Sanchez

managed to straddle the ball washer and dangle his

scrotum in the machine. Much to his dismay, one of his

buddies upped the ante by spinning the crank on the

machine with Sanchez's scrotum in place, thus wedging

them solidly in the mechanism. Sanchez, who immediately

passed his threshold of pain, collapsed and tumbled from

his perch. Unfortunately for Sanchez, the post of the

ball washer was more than strong enough to support his

body weight, and his sack was the weakest link. Sanchez's

scrotum was ripped open during the fall, and one testicle

was plucked from him forever and remained in the ball

washer, while the other testicle was compressed and

flattened as it was pulled between the housing of the

washer, and the rotating machinery inside. To add insult

to injury, Sanchez then broke a new $300.00 graphite

shaft driver that he had just purchased from the pro

shop, and was attempting to use as a cane. Sanchez was

rushed to the hospital for surgery, and the remaining

threesome was asked to leave the course.

Holy shit that sound so painful...

[tranzwhore]

congrats & RIP to the winners!!!!!!

[HAZE]

Holy shit that sound so painful...

Hellz yea, I was in pain just reading that shit!!!