this is funny

[gonzojournilist]

got this off a web sight check this out

First, a little background information so you don't get confused.

mikewilliams27 is actually us.

The innocent victim in all of this is victim-X----->

Victim-X #8

mikewilliams27: Hi

victim-X-#8: hiya

mikewilliams27: My name is Mike.

victim-X-#8: lol really, mine is...

mikewilliams27: Your profile says that you want to be a doctor.

victim-X-#8: yep

mikewilliams27: have you taken any classes yet?

mikewilliams27: Like pre-med classes?

victim-X-#8: I took a basic Bio class but I haven't taken any pre med courses yet.

mikewilliams27: Oh. Well do you think you can help me?

mikewilliams27: I have a problem.

victim-X-#8: um, ok, I'll try...

victim-X-#8: but that doesn't mean I can.

mikewilliams27: It's not really medical but I might need a doctor.

victim-X-#8: um....ok...I'm not a doctor yet though.

mikewilliams27: I'm kind of embarassed to even tell anyone but I can't get to the phone.

victim-X-#8: um...ok.

mikewilliams27: Do you promise that you won't make fun of me?

victim-X-#8: yeah ok. remember I'm not a doctor yet...or even really close. to one.

mikewilliams27: Ok. I know.

mikewilliams27: Do you know anything about glue?

mikewilliams27: Did you take woodshop in High School?

victim-X-#8: yeah

mikewilliams27: Have you ever eaten Cheese Wiz?

victim-X-#8: um....sure.

mikewilliams27: Well... i really like Cheeze Wizz.

victim-X-#8: um...ok.

mikewilliams27: I mean, I REALLY like it.

mikewilliams27: I like it so much that sometimes...

mikewilliams27: I like to cover myself with it.

victim-X-#8: what?.

mikewilliams27: Please don't laugh!

victim-X-#8: why are you telling me this?

mikewilliams27: I'm getting to that.

victim-X-#8: um...ok.

mikewilliams27: Last night I covered my whole body with Cheeze and fell asleep in

....................... front of my computer.

mikewilliams27: Now I can't get up.

mikewilliams27: It dried and I'm stuck to this wooden kitchen chair.

mikewilliams27: Hello?

victim-X-#8: I think you're talking to the wrong person.

mikewilliams27: Yeah, but I can't get to the phone and nobody beleives me.

mikewilliams27: I don't even know who to call.

mikewilliams27: What do you think I shoud do?

victim-X-#8: cut down on cheese whizz?

mikewilliams27: Very funny.

mikewilliams27: I'm serious.

victim-X-#8: get to some water?

mikewilliams27: I can't. The kitchen is upstairs.

victim-X-#8: I don't know what to tell you then.

mikewilliams27: I peed all over myself and it didn't help.

mikewilliams27: I'm afraid if I call 911 and if they come and see me like this, they'll lock me up.

mikewilliams27: The Cheese is only the tip of the iceburg, really.

mikewilliams27: I'm totally naked and I have one of those red ball-gags in my mouth.

mikewilliams27: ...and the empty Cheeze Wiz jar is in my ass.

victim-X-#8: you're sick. leave me alone.

mikewilliams27: My head is glued to the back of the chair with cheese wiz.

mikewilliams27: I can't move it.

mikewilliams27: The only thing I can move is my arms.

mikewilliams27: You have to help me!

mikewilliams27: Hello!?

mikewilliams27: Are you still there?

mikewilliams27: HELP ME!!!

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My music starts at 170 BPM not 140...

[melichacha]

That's the best thing I've read in a while.. thanks for sharing!

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[gonzojournilist]

BUMP

time to leave for werk...

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[back2basics-]

LMF(a)O , thats great... more please

[gonzojournilist]

after werk

so they'll be up for tommorow

I have a lot

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[bungee]

Good one dude...LOL

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What da.....

[missincognito]

that was funny!

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*~**~*~**~~ No man/woman is worth your tears... and the only one who would be- would never make you cry ~~**~*~**~*

[gonzojournilist]

even homos get the abuse

holy shit this is hilarous

First, a little background information so you don't get confused.

pigfarmer_usa_1 is actually us.

The innocent victim in all of this is victimx-5 ---->

Here's what happened...

victimx-5

pigfarmer_usa_1: Hi

victimx5: hi

pigfarmer_usa_1: How are you?

victimx5: doing well, and u?

pigfarmer_usa_1: I'm ok.

victimx5: where ya from, I be in AZ

pigfarmer_usa_1: I'm in Wyoming.

pigfarmer_usa_1: Berkes County.

victimx5: That's kewl

pigfarmer_usa_1: Wheres AZ?

victimx5: Arizona, Phoenix area

pigfarmer_usa_1: Oh. I thought you ment OZ. Like in that movie.

victimx5: noppers

pigfarmer_usa_1: So what do you do out thee in Arizonia?

victimx5: I am a systems admin/computer network specialist.

pigfarmer_usa_1: I tend to a herd of pigs. We got a farm out here.

pigfarmer_usa_1: Pigs mostly, but we got some cows too.

victimx5: that's kewl, I used to live in Iowa, lots of hogs there.

pigfarmer_usa_1: Cows are for milking, not for beef.

pigfarmer_usa_1: Iowas not too far from here, I don't think.

pigfarmer_usa_1: I aint never been out of Wyoming. Except I went to Kentucky once.

victimx5: about a 16 hr drive I think.

pigfarmer_usa_1: How far do you think Arizonea is of a drive?

victimx5: probably 12 hours, not sure.

pigfarmer_usa_1: they call you ***?

pigfarmer_usa_1: How come?

victimx5: It's my initials

pigfarmer_usa_1: you like guys I guess huh?

victimx5: yeppers, that would be right.

pigfarmer_usa_1: Want to hear what I do sometimes?

victimx5: what's that?

pigfarmer_usa_1: Sometimes when I'm out. Tendin to them pigs. I get a little crazy.

victimx5: okies.

pigfarmer_usa_1: I get myself a little one, so I don't get hurt and I get it going with him.

victimx5: okies

pigfarmer_usa_1: You ever done that before?

victimx5: noppers, can't say that I have.

pigfarmer_usa_1: You aint never fucked any pigs before? Not even in Iowa?

victimx5: noppers.

pigfarmer_usa_1: It's weird. They scream

like crazy but I think they really like it.

victimx5: I guess I wouldn't know

pigfarmer_usa_1: What's the craziest thing you ever did before?

victimx5: I've led a sheltered life, can't say I have ever done anything crazy before.

pigfarmer_usa_1: Not even a litle bit?

victimx5: not lest you count being married 3 times.

pigfarmer_usa_1: Married to guys or to girls?

victimx5: women

pigfarmer_usa_1: I thought you were gay.

victimx5: I am, that's why it's so crazy.

pigfarmer_usa_1: You got kids?

victimx5: 5 boys

pigfarmer_usa_1: How old are they?

victimx5: 24 - 13 - 9 - 8 - 4

pigfarmer_usa_1: Are they good looking?

victimx5: Kids always look good to their fathers and mothers.

pigfarmer_usa_1: Are any of them gay to?

victimx5: Not that I am aware of.

pigfarmer_usa_1: Are any of them aware that their father is now a receptacle for another man's penis?

victimx5: you mean do they know I am gay. The oldest 2 do. And do you think that

............. sex is all there is to a relationship?

pigfarmer_usa_1: How did you break it to them?

victimx5: I just told them outright.

pigfarmer_usa_1: Have you ever kissed them on the mouth?

victimx5: I kiss them on the cheek, I feel that is more appropriate.

pigfarmer_usa_1: Which cheek? Butt cheek?

pigfarmer_usa_1: Have you ever sniffed their dirty underwear?

victimx5: Neither of those ?'s warrants a response.

pigfarmer_usa_1: I'm sorry.

pigfarmer_usa_1: I was just playin.

victimx5: okies

pigfarmer_usa_1: Do any of them live in Wyoming?

victimx5: nope

pigfarmer_usa_1: Shucks. I'd like to get it on with some of your kids.

pigfarmer_usa_1: I'd tell you how they were in the sack too. But only if you really wanted to know.

victimx5: only one of them is old enough, and he is straight and married.

pigfarmer_usa_1: Yeah, well that's what someone would have said about you too at 24.

pigfarmer_usa_1: I bet he's secretly a turd burgler just like you were.

pigfarmer_usa_1: Does he have any aversion to pork products?

victimx5: I was 23 when I got married the first time, and my first love was a male. I don't think he does.

pigfarmer_usa_1: So you got married to a man at age 23?

victimx5: no, my first love was at 13, I got married to a woman at 23

pigfarmer_usa_1: Who was your first love?

victimx5: a guy

pigfarmer_usa_1: Was it a priest?

victimx5: no, a boy my age.

pigfarmer_usa_1: What all did you guys do to each-other?

victimx5: basically the same things any boy and girl of that age would do, without much of the sex. It ..............was love for us, not lust.

pigfarmer_usa_1: I understand.

pigfarmer_usa_1: A lot of times, I get a good felling about one of my pigs.

pigfarmer_usa_1: I don't fuck them in their ass right away.

pigfarmer_usa_1: I like to wait until we've built a good relationship first.

pigfarmer_usa_1: You and me are a lot alike, you know that?

victimx5: I don't think so

pigfarmer_usa_1: Did you and this kid ever get it on?

victimx5: We explored each other in various ways. But mainly it was just hanging out together and ..............sharing our lives with each other.

pigfarmer_usa_1: What do you mean 'explored eachother' tell me.

victimx5: I am not much into the show and tell stuff.

pigfarmer_usa_1: Come on, tell me.

victimx5: sorry, no juicy details from me.

pigfarmer_usa_1: Be honest.

pigfarmer_usa_1: Did you ever see his dick?

victimx5: I won't elaborate on anything.

pigfarmer_usa_1: Maybe it was really a girl.

victimx5:

pigfarmer_usa_1: Maybe this whole gay thing is just a case of mistaken identity for you.

victimx5: I don't think so.

pigfarmer_usa_1: How much you want to bet your 13 year old is doing the same thing right now?

pigfarmer_usa_1: I bet he likes to go camping with his friends. Right?

victimx5: If he does, then that is up to him.

pigfarmer_usa_1: And I bet he just waits for his opportunity to get some gay stuff going on with them.

victimx5: That would be up to him also.

pigfarmer_usa_1: You think he's ever had it in the ass yet?

victimx5: I think that is up to him too, and not necessary for me to know.

pigfarmer_usa_1: Wouldn't you want to know if your 13 year old son was having

......................... gay sex with the neighborhood boys?

pigfarmer_usa_1: I bet my Mom and Dad wouldn't be happy if they knew about me and those pigs.

victimx5: by that age, children pretty much know what they want.

pigfarmer_usa_1: I'm wearing my Mom's garter belt and stockings under my overalls right now.

pigfarmer_usa_1: And I got my Mom's micro-mite vibrator up my butt while I'm writing to you.

pigfarmer_usa_1: You ever sneak a look at your kids while they're changing for bed?

victimx5: whatever trips your trigger.

victimx5: I must go now, I have to update a server at 5:30

pigfarmer_usa_1: You ever linger a little bit on their buttocks while you were changing their diapers?

victimx5: noppers, never thought about it.

pigfarmer_usa_1: You're no fun.

pigfarmer_usa_1: Want me to put you on my buddy list?

victimx5: sure...

pigfarmer_usa_1: Can I have your 24 year old son's phone number?

victimx5: lol, not unless he tells me he wants u to have it.

pigfarmer_usa_1: Ok.

pigfarmer_usa_1: See you later.

victimx5: okies bye

pigfarmer_usa_1: Fag.

victimx5: What?

pigfarmer_usa_1: Nothing. Bye

victimx5: bye

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[funkysoulbro]

gonzo...i must give it to you on this one...this shit is fuckin very entertaining...good shit bro.

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Fatboy Slim is Fucking in Heaven!

[gonzojournilist]

not as funny but pretty amusing

harry_m_27

This one is a little different. Sometimes, out of the blue, people start

talking to us. Maybe they think we're someone else. Maybe they're

just really really stupid. Either way, most of the times it's pretty frightening.

It gets even more frighteneing when they keep coming back for more

and more. We wish this guy would have at least looked at our photo first.

harry_m_27

harry_m_27: Hi i m male 27 from India looking for ladies or girls for decent freindship if some one ....................intersted join me ?or mail me at harry_m_27@yahoo.com

fuglydotcom: what?

harry_m_27: Hi i m male 27 from India

looking for ladies or girls for decent freindship if some one ....................intersted join me ?

or mail me at harry_m_27@yahoo.com

fuglydotcom: Are you kidding?

harry_m_27: pls read it carefully

fuglydotcom: What's wrong with you? Are you

serious?

harry_m_27: y i m indian dear fuglydotcom:

And am want to meet ladies from the US?

fuglydotcom: What kind of Indian are you?

fuglydotcom: Apache?

fuglydotcom: Sioux?

harry_m_27: ?

fuglydotcom: What kind?

fuglydotcom: What tribe are you from?

harry_m_27: hindu

fuglydotcom: Ohhh. I see.

fuglydotcom: Where do you work?

harry_m_27: at gurgaon

fuglydotcom: Is that like a 7-11?

harry_m_27: y u know it

fuglydotcom: Yeah. I go there all the time.

fuglydotcom: Do you know what a spoon-straw

is?

harry_m_27: no

fuglydotcom: How about a Slurpee?

harry_m_27: i ddidnot get u ?

fuglydotcom: nevermind.

fuglydotcom: Do you have a picture I can

see?

harry_m_27: ok

harry_m_27: but urs asl first

fuglydotcom: Oh. Ok.

fuglydotcom: I'm 28, Female, Blonde, about 5

foot 9". Big tits.

fuglydotcom: I live in Southern California.

harry_m_27: wow

fuglydotcom: Yeah, i'm really hot.

harry_m_27: ur name?

fuglydotcom: So will you send me the photo?

fuglydotcom: My name?

harry_m_27: y

fuglydotcom: My name is Veronica.

harry_m_27: ah fantastic

fuglydotcom: No, wait, my name is JonBenet.

harry_m_27: right now i dont have but i will get it done with in couple of day s

fuglydotcom: Can't you send me one via

email?

harry_m_27: y sure

fuglydotcom: Ok. Send it now, and i'll send you one too.

harry_m_27: ok

fuglydotcom: You want my email address?

harry_m_27: mine add is harry_m_27@yahoo.com

fuglydotcom: Ok. Mine is Veronica@fugly.com

harry_m_27: ok

fuglydotcom: Ok.

harry_m_27: u said u r female na?

fuglydotcom: Are you going to send it now?

harry_m_27: y

fuglydotcom: Right. I'm Female.

harry_m_27: but u said ur name?

fuglydotcom: Why, do you know many men named Veronica?

harry_m_27: no

harry_m_27: but u said ur name is john

fuglydotcom: I'll send you my photo as soon as i get yours.

fuglydotcom: No, I was kidding.

fuglydotcom: Do you know who JonBenet is?

harry_m_27: no?

fuglydotcom: She's a hot porn star from the U.S.

fuglydotcom: She does snuff films mostly.

harry_m_27: oh really

fuglydotcom: Yeah. Hey, if you steal something and get caught, do they cut off your hands?

harry_m_27: u r really too good

harry_m_27: not at all dear

fuglydotcom: No? I thought that they did that in India.

harry_m_27: that means its there like this

fuglydotcom: Huh. I don't understand what you're trying to say.

fuglydotcom: Do you like to eat Hamburgers?

harry_m_27: means?

fuglydotcom: How about cheesesteaks?

fuglydotcom: What?

harry_m_27: hemburgers?

fuglydotcom: Hamburgers! The cornerstone of every nutritious breakfast!

harry_m_27: ah

fuglydotcom: I guess you guys don't worry too much about Mad Cow disease there huh?

harry_m_27: u r really intellegent dear

fuglydotcom: Yeah?

fuglydotcom: Not really. I have big tits and I'm stupid.

harry_m_27: its my pleasure to have freind like u

fuglydotcom: Are you going to send me your picture now?

fuglydotcom: Oh, thank you.

harry_m_27: i told u i wil send u dear

fuglydotcom: Ok. Send it now.

harry_m_27: after a coulple of day as right now i have to get it scan

harry_m_27: u pls send me at my add

fuglydotcom: Aww.

fuglydotcom: Ok.

fuglydotcom: Well I have to go. Will you email it to me whan you get it?

harry_m_27: is it ur nude photo?

fuglydotcom: veronica@fugly.com

fuglydotcom: What?

harry_m_27: should i addu in my freind list?

fuglydotcom: Yeah yeah. I'm completely nude in my photo.

harry_m_27: ohhhhhhh

harry_m_27: u send me now dear

fuglydotcom: Send me one of you nude too.

fuglydotcom: Ok?

harry_m_27: ok

fuglydotcom: Ok. I'm so horney for you blah blah blah...

harry_m_27: lovely to find freind like u

fuglydotcom: Don't forget to email me ok?

fuglydotcom: Uh huh.

fuglydotcom: Whatever.

harry_m_27: u have added me in ur list na

harry_m_27: sorry i m aeivng

fuglydotcom: Sure. I'll stalk you... err, I mean talk to you later.

harry_m_27: bye

fuglydotcom: mmmmbuh bye.

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