resident Posted November 28 Report Share Posted November 28 ECSTASYHow you think you behave: Like the beautiful, caring, wonderful person you really are.How you actually behave: Like the creepy kid at school who always sucked up to the teacher. Those revolting sweaty hugs you inflict upon anyone you meet are disgusting.Likelihood of getting laid: 30%. Sex is not important. It's all about the "vibe".How you feel in the morning: Like you should have gone for the sex.Embarrassment rating: 6/10. Ecstasy makes you say nice things to people that you don't like. This can be very embarrassing, particularly if people believe what you say. Be careful who you give your phone number to. They just might call.MARIJUANAHow you think you behave: You're not sure, but you think people could be laughing at you.How you actually behave: Like someone just hit you over the head with an 800 kg fridge freezer combination.Likelihood of getting laid: 60%. If you spend enough time on the couch, anything can happen.How you feel in the morning: Like another joint. And the rest of that pizza.Embarrassment rating: 1/10. You are moving so slowly that it's almost impossible to do anything stupid.ALCOHOLHow you think you behave: Like the life of the party. You are sexy, funny and everybody likes you.How you actually behave: Like the death of the party. Your behavior gets progressively worse as you tell more and more crass jokes, insult the bartender, spill your drink and make a pass at your best friend's date.Likelihood of getting laid: 90% Your sexual standards drop dramatically with each consecutive drink. If surrounded by others whose standards are also lowered, then your chances are pretty good.How you feel in the morning: Who did I insult? Where is my car? Why did I sleep with someone from the office? I've never felt this bad before. This is absolutely the last time.Embarrassment rating: 11/10 Not only are you stupid, you are sloppy. Everyone recognizes this, except you.COCAINEHow you think you behave: You are smart, irresistible and want to "do lunch" with everyone.How you actually behave: Like an annoying know-it-all who would sell his soul for the next line of blow.Likelihood of getting laid: 80% It may be a Jedi Mind Trick, but when you sincerely believe you are so irresistible, some clueless and insecure type may actually fall for it.How you feel in the morning: Like the ape man.Embarrassment rating:A) 0/10 if there's more coke in the drawer. 9/10 if there isn't.ACID or SHROOMSHow you think you behave: You are not behaving, but the world around you is putting on a pretty good show.How you actually behave: In reality, it is you putting on the show. The rest of the world is behaving the same as ever.Likelihood of getting laid: 20% Even if you actually manage to get through the process of selecting a mate, removing your clothes and choosing a sexual position, you will then have to deal with the challenge of your partner changing into a furry animal/the devil/your mother.How you feel in the morning: Either you are climbing the walls wishing that God would put an end to your suffering, or you finally understand Huxley's "The Doors of Perception."Embarrassment rating: 0/10 You either sat on the couch and laughed at the TV all night (even if it was turned off), or you climbed onto a building, tried to fly and died.CRYSTAL METHHow you think you behave: A little: You are self-confident, sexy, full of energy and everybody wants you. A lot: Everybody is looking at you "funny", they make jokes about you and comment on your shortcomings, all of them. You can hear crystal clear (that's why it's called that way...) everything negative said about you, even if it is whispered into someone's ear at the other end of a crowded dance floor and the music pumping.How you actually behave: You are frantically looking around either to hook up or because you hear things and you dance two beats where there's only one.Likelihood of getting laid: A little: 100% You either hook up or go to a sex club. A lot: 0% until you stop being sketchy, if you stop being sketchy. (Then you go to a sex club.)How you feel in the morning: What morning? You're still going or looking for downers. But two days later stay away from tall buildings.Embarrassment rating: A little: 0/10 You think you're "it", but you don't tell anybody ("cause they know..."). A lot: 0/10 to 10/10 Everybody is mean to you, but you don't tell anybody ("cause they know..."). Then you tell your friends and get pissed off at them for trying to tell you you're imagining things ("cause they don't know..."). Then you get sloppy and uncoordinated and break things as you get mad at people for telling you what to do ("cause they don't know...").GHBHow you think you behave: You're in touch with your feelings and absolutely fucking gorgeous. You're warm and friendly and connect with people, who for the majority are fucking gorgeous.How you actually behave: You touch your body inappropriately. You touch other peoples bodies inappropriately. You have difficulty focusing, walking, standing...Likelihood of getting laid: 120% You'd fuck anything that has a pulse. Actually, that doorknob looks cute too.How you feel in the morning: Great.Embarrassment rating:A) 8/10 You sexually harassed everybody and their doorknob. If you do too much: 20/10 You pass out, you pee yourself, you shit yourself, you vomit all over yourself, probably all in public.C) If you mix it with alcohol or downers: 0/10 You're dead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachel1997 Posted November 28 Report Share Posted November 28 LOL that's funny. so TRUE~! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
resident Posted November 28 Author Report Share Posted November 28 I just noticed that they were missing a KETAMINE section. Anyone wanna take a crack at it? You could have just watched me last Friday and come up with something like "How you actually behave: thrashing and smashing into everything within a 50-foot radius"...Embarrassment rating? Well, I do apologize... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sugar_n_spice Posted November 28 Report Share Posted November 28 lmao very funny!!!! ------------------" Life is like a melody, only the lyrics are messed up" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoelB Posted November 28 Report Share Posted November 28 Ketamine (lots)How you think you behave: Could you repeat the question? Wait where am I? Who am I? Gimme a bump!How you actually behave: Like some sort of twisted cross between a deer in headlights and an unintelligible zombie.Likelihood of getting laid: 1%. Chances are very slim. First you need to work on regaining consciousness, and "discovering" the way out of the club and or to a stall.How you feel in the morning: Like you wish you weren't still inside Twilo/Sound Factory.Embarrassment rating: 0/10 You probably won't be able to pronounce anything remotely resembling any spoken language, so chances are you won't say anything embarassing. However, if standing around, mouth wide open, like a lawn ornament is your idea of embarassing, change rating to 10/10. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pershoot Posted November 28 Report Share Posted November 28 i remeber posting that a long time ago, i got it from alt.ravei still love reading it..funny as hell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nicole212 Posted November 28 Report Share Posted November 28 Originally posted by JoelB:Ketamine (lots)How you think you behave: Could you repeat the question? Wait where am I? Who am I? Gimme a bump!How you actually behave: Like some sort of twisted cross between a deer in headlights and an unintelligible zombie.Likelihood of getting laid: 1%. Chances are very slim. First you need to work on regaining consciousness, and "discovering" the way out of the club and or to a stall.How you feel in the morning: Like you wish you weren't still inside Twilo/Sound Factory.Embarrassment rating: 0/10 You probably won't be able to pronounce anything remotely resembling any spoken language, so chances are you won't say anything embarassing. However, if standing around, mouth wide open, like a lawn ornament is your idea of embarassing, change rating to 10/10.SO true...When else is something as simple as, say, opening a water bottle a overwhelming mental and physical feat?------------------The music was our teacher...The DJ was our preacher...Now tell me if I reach you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysteriousss Posted November 28 Report Share Posted November 28 Hehehe, awesome Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djmikedr Posted November 28 Report Share Posted November 28 that was incredibly funny and probably (mostly) true!Big Props!------------------Use email DJmikeDR@aol.comPM way too slow! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trippintrance64 Posted November 28 Report Share Posted November 28 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ------------------"A man makes his sunshine, and he makes his rain. Look at what you have, and where you are, before you say, "I've had a horrible day" Appreciate what you have, and realize how much others wish they could have that much. Live Life, and LOVE IT!" --Me"Sometimes there is so much beauty in the world i feel i can't take it. and i feel like my heart is gonna cave in" -American BeautyK and Erm...there is only one thing to say that will express my feelings about you guys......HAAAAAABUUUURRRBBNo Pleasure, No Rapture, No Exquisite Sin Greater....Than Central Air. - Dogma"I can walk in straight lines, within my own crooked world" -a drunken Aramis Ponte Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j303j Posted November 28 Report Share Posted November 28 that was really funny and very true ------------------IM TALENTED YES IM GIFTED NEVER BOOSTED NEVER SHOPLIFTEDAOL J303J Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melichacha Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 That is SO going on my dorm room's door... - Meli - ------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frodo Posted December 2 Report Share Posted December 2 unfortunatly accurate descriptiononly thing missing is candyflippingcarry on pplwe can count embarasment factors in amtogether next time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bimerus Posted December 2 Report Share Posted December 2 hehe, this is funny shit, but true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_pharmacist Posted December 2 Report Share Posted December 2 Originally posted by resident:A) 8/10 You sexually harassed everybody and their doorknob.HAHAHAHAHA get the hell outta here!!! that is too funny!! = ) ------------------ www.Hardhaus.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.