LikmyLipz Posted December 16 Report Share Posted December 16 Life Reflections 1. Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. 2. I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain. 3. I'm in shape. Round is a shape. 4. I'm desperately trying to figure out why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets. 5. Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup? 6. I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific. 7. Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window? 8. Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac? 9. You have to stay in shape. My mother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now and we have no idea where she is. 10. I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them. 11. One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you. 12. They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem. 13. Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall. 14. A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, "Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" I said, "I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too." 15. Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore. ------------------~LiPz~ aim:LikmyLipzicq:101504929/>http://hometown.aol.com/lipzlipzlipz/LIPZ.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomix Posted December 16 Report Share Posted December 16 Are you at work now??? Because you have many time to go online and post topics as i can see... ------------------$$$$IN TOM WE TRUST$$$$ Email : tomixfromparis@hotmail.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deanna11 Posted December 16 Report Share Posted December 16 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! THOSE ARE GREAT! you have me cracking upyeah, LikmyLipz, stop entertaining me and distracting me from my studying!------------------FOR SALE: ROOMMATE. CHEAP Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReginaP Posted December 16 Report Share Posted December 16 Funny! What comedian are those from? ------------------=) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LikmyLipz Posted December 16 Author Report Share Posted December 16 Originally posted by ReginaP: Funny! What comedian are those from? i honestly have no clue.. people email this kinda thing all the time.. i like to post them, but if anyone feels there just cluttering the bord let me know ------------------~LiPz~ aim:LikmyLipzicq:101504929/>http://hometown.aol.com/lipzlipzlipz/LIPZ.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathyo Posted December 16 Report Share Posted December 16 All true!I especially like 8 and 10!------------------ A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to it's old dimensions.~*~*~Don't use time or words carelessly, neither can be retrieved.~*~*~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachel1997 Posted December 17 Report Share Posted December 17 LOL I like those!Some of them are mad funny!------------------ This genie grants 3 wishes... Hey I'm not sharing! He's all MINE! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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