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FUNNY JOKES!!! LETS POST SOME!!


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Who's the most popular guy in a nudist colony?

-----> The guy who can hold a cup of coffe in each hand and can carry a dozen donuts.

Who's the most popular girl in a nudist colony?

----> The girl who can eat the last donut.

Hehehe... tongue.gif

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You know we aren't meant to exist in the outside world... - Akira

shadowchaser076@aol.com

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A priest is giving confessions, there is an urgent phonecall for the priest, that he must take ... The priest asks one of the training priests to fill in for him, so he does ... He goes through a couple people, fine ... "4 hail marys for you", "6 our fathers for you" and so and so forth ... A woman enters the booth ... "forgive me father for I have sinned, it has 3 weeks since my last confession" said the woman."I have been active in oral sex and anal sex." The priest can't remember what to give for oral and anal, so he runs out the booth and asks one of the Alter boys,"what does the priest usally give for oral and anal sex?" the boy replies "2 cookies and a glass of milk."

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FEED YOUR HEAD

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ny/nj bumper stickers:

1. Could you drive any better if I shoved that fuckin' cell phone up your

ass?

2. If you can read this, I can slam on my fuckin' brakes and sue you!

3. Yeah sure, Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're a moron!

4. 100,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest?

5. Your gene pool needs a little chlorine.

7. Save Your Breath ... You'll need it to blow up your date!

9. My Hockey Mom Can Beat the shit out of Your Soccer Mom!

10. My juvenile delinquent got your honor student pregnant.

11. GROW YOUR OWN DOPE, PLANT A MAN

13. Some people are only alive because murder is illegal.

14. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

15. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

16. So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute.

17.The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.

18. IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.

19. Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

20. Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.

21. Out of my mind...Back in five minutes.

23. Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

24. I see your IQ test results were negative.

25. Where there's a will...I want to be on it.

26. We are born naked, wet, and hungry...Then things get worse.

27. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

29. Be nice to your kids... They will pick out your nursing home.

30. Honk If You Want To See My Finger

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"Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs"

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Here's a few...

Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.

"Why?" asks the father.

"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' I said '6'"

"But that's right!"

"Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"

"What's the fucking difference?" asks the father.

"That's what I said!

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence And you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"

She calls on little Johnny. He replies, "None, they all fly away with the first gun shot." The teacher replies "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking," Then Little Johnny says "I have a question for YOU. There are Three women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking The sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the Top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. "Which one is married?" The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied "Well I suppose

the one that gobbled down the top and sucked the cone" To which Little Johnny replied, "The correct answer is the one With the wedding ring on . . . but I like your thinking!"

Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear miniskirts?

A: Their balls hang out.

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You know everything will flow...

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