weyes' wisdom of the day - 5/31/07

[weyes]

on expectations. someone on another board asked about how she could "lower her expectations," because someone told her she should. someone seemed to have convinced her that it was something she should do in order to not be disappointed in life. this was my response:

i hope you've just misphrased that; you don't have to lower your expectations of other people. why do you think you need to lower your standards? having high standards is a good way to make sure that you lead a satisfying life - one that meets your needs.

if you are saying that you are constantly disappointed by others, perhaps you really aren't around the company you deserve. perhaps you really do deserve an upgrade of sorts in your life.

an example: my mom once told me, when i was about 13, "never say 'no' to a date." my mom is one of those women who has never been alone; she's always been in a relationship. this means that she's been settling and settling throughout her life, sacrificing different parts of herself for convenience and/or comfort, not staying true to herself. my stepfather keeps her down; they're an awful match and her spirit is trampled.

but if you truly believe that those around you are the people you deserve and you're just not forgiving enough, empathy is always a good way to understand why people act the way they do, and it also explains how and why they do, don't, can, and can't meet your expectations.

tune in tomorrow.