Jilly Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 How do you know you're an old raver?You snicker when you hear someone say "PLUR".You finally realized that phat pants are heavy and unpractical.You refrain from dancing unless the circle is of rather large dimensions.When you do dance, you "battle".You learn to spin, and therefore have graduated to the "superior rave status". You find out just how crooked promoters really are. You hate massives. You blame candy kids for everything retarded in the scene. You say "the scene" a lot. You find out how much better european electronic music really is. You find out that glow sticks were cool TEN years ago in the UK. You have pretended to be rolling at a party just to get a quick laugh out of your friends. When you ARE on E, you do your best to act normal. You realize how cool Drum n' Bass is. You realize how lame progressive trance is. You find out that American DJ's are completely overrated. You have close friends who don't give a fuck about raving. You think that maybe YOU don't really give a fuck either. The smell of Vicks makes you physically sick. You can't help but laugh when someone tries to give you a "glow stick show". You learn to break. If you want to actually "roll," you have to eat about four pills at once. You can get those four pills for the same price that everyone else pays for one. You drink beer at after parties. You quit collecting fliers. You have unsubscribed from your rave mailing list, because "none of those fucking little kids understand a thing about raving, dammit!" You can't remember the last time you went to a party and didn't think it sucked. You can't remember much in general. You realize that ravers aren't nearly as genuine as the hippies were. You wouldn't mind if that kid with the whistle accidentally swallowed it and died. You are actually called by your real name. You realize that the general public shoudln't be blamed for hating raves. You think ECKO is the sickest gear money can buy. You talk shit as much as possible. You value things in terms of vinyl, (ex: "that's an eight record pair of pants.") You DESPISE Happy Hardcore. You DESPISE candy. You have seen a thirteen year old "raver" on ecstasy and felt like leaving the party because of it. You know what a 303 is. You no longer feel the need to advertise your "rave-ness" to the world. You realize shell toes are shitty shoes. You can't count how many pairs you have owned. You know that post-rave sex is aweful. You've punked kids who tried to get in a circle that was outta their league. You can determine where a raver is from just by the way they dance. You know that LA ravers can't dance worth a shit. You find out that underground parties still happen quite frequently, despite what 98% of the raving populous thinks. You party sober and now understand how stupid you looked when you didn't. You know who PRODUCED your favorite tracks, not just which DJ bought it and put it on a mix CD. You read URB. You have day-dreams that involve the Telletubies and a large rusty chainsaw. Your parents gave up on you becoming normal a long, long time ago. You know why GHB and special K are for fucking idiots. You understand electro and minimal techno now. You hate rave ho's. You could out-dance any boy band, any day, while smoking a cigarette. You begin to notice how often big DJ's blow mixes. You think sweaty guys who run around the party shirtless should get thrown out. You act like a punk-ass bitch to security, police, and any other authority. You purposely wear way too much clothing to parties, because you know that dancing in a turtleneck sweater looks fucking ill. You say "ill" a lot. You have replaced Caffiene, JNCO, and Adidas with Technic, Vestax, and JBL. You know that raving is all about the music, but RAVERS are not. You find the jungle room much more appealing now. You can actually dance to jungle. You hate Feelgood and Coolworld. You laugh out loud when you walk into Jamba Juice and they're playing dance music. You see guys from your high school football team at a party. You know raving is mainstream as fuck. The bigger the flier, the less you want to go to the party. You can re-tell the story of how raving came to America quite accurately. You hate Anthem tracks. Your sleeping, and eating habits are completely fucked up. You sit around with friends and tell old "rave disaster" stories. You are amazed that you are somehow still alive.------------------"When you think you've tried every road..Every avenue..Take one more look..At what you found old..And in it you'll find something new"-DMSmoknjilly@aol.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJMAGZ Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 Did you come up with all those yourself?If so mad props------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deenyc22 Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 only got through about half of it cuz it was so damn long, i'll read the other half later...but that was soooo funny!!! Thanks, i needed thathow long did it take you to write that mother? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jilly Posted August 30 Author Report Share Posted August 30 I did not write it..was on my friend's website and even though I was never a hardcore raver, I thought it was funny...-J ------------------"When you think you've tried every road..Every avenue..Take one more look..At what you found old..And in it you'll find something new"-DMSmoknjilly@aol.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueangel Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 Hmmmmmm . . . I've only counted five that I would qualify for . . I guess it's PARY ON for me!!!! BlueAngel------------------"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."- Robert Frost Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sf97 Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 The cry's of a jaded raver!------------------it's not WHAT you know,it's not WHO you know eitherIt's WHO KNOWS YOU!We are young but for a short period of time,Learn and save as if to last forever,Live and love as if to die tomorrow! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dollabill25 Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 What is sad and pathetic is that almost all of those things apply to me. If you all will excuse I have to clean my gun now.[This message has been edited by dollabill25 (edited 08-30-2000).] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gonzojournilist Posted August 31 Report Share Posted August 31 Originally posted by Jilly:You snicker when you hear someone say "PLUR". You are amazed that you are somehow still alive.I thought about that one alot------------------When the going gets weirdthe weird turns pro... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nicole212 Posted August 31 Report Share Posted August 31 I love it...Remember how crappy big pants were after parties? Rave sludge up to you knees? Sometimes I wonder how I managed to wear pigtails and Dreams and shelltops for 2 years straight... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluefuzzy Posted August 31 Report Share Posted August 31 you hit the nail right on the head. i thought i was the only one. but i will confess i still like shell-toed adidas and Feelgood. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueskygirl Posted September 1 Report Share Posted September 1 Right on list. Tho I still love them too much, I just stopped noticing the BS...Hugs!------------------All for fun and fun for allmbdewey@yahoo.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shadowchaser Posted September 1 Report Share Posted September 1 The part about seeing a 13 year old on ecstacy was true. Actually, I saw two 8 year olds on it at a rave. It was sickening. And it was their babysitter who brought them there. ------------------Like a blind man at an orgy, I'm going have to feel my way around. shadowchaser076@aol.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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