weyes' wisdom of the day - 12/9/08

[weyes]

wow - it's been a tumultous season; i never neglected the column as much as i have the past few months. but i'm starting to get a handle on things, and learning in the process. so here's a biggie for the holiday season:

i was stressing out a lot the past few weeks over going home for the holidays. like a lot of people, i have trouble at christmas time dealing with my family and the way they choose to "celebrate" the holiday. the same things happen and have happened for years: the same people get drunk and mean, some family members think it's a hoot to bring up painful memories for people and try to turn them into "humorous" stories, labels and insults are flung around in a very cavalier fashion, and there are more power struggles and strange incidents about control than i will ever understand or be able to explain. and it's freezing cold outside where we celebrate x-mas, in the middle of nowhere: no way to escape and too cold to enjoy the outdoors. it all ends up being the most hopeless and lonely time, for me, and that's just those few days around x-mas itself in that house - this isn't even mentioning the problems i have with what goes on with the world at large during december.

anyway, i was planning to go home for my family's sake. i know it means a lot to them to have me there on x-mas. but every time i thought about it, i got into a panic and actually started crying . i had a plane ticket and was all committed to a 12-day stay, but when someone finally made the point that i shouldn't go for other people, the tears stopped and my mind cleared. why hadn't i thought of putting myself first ?

it's been said before, i know, and it's simple. but if you don't put yourself first, it is true that you shouldn't expect anyone else to.

tune in tomorrow.