FUNNY

[Guest r3nz0]

Bob's sitting in his lawn chair, drinking beer and watching his wife mow the lawn. A female neighbor from across the street is so outraged at this that she comes over and shouts, "You should be hung!"

Bob calmly replies "Why do you think she's cutting the grass?"

[Guest VeLeNoRoSa]

3 stoners getting a cab on the side of the road.

before getting in they decide not to talk so that the driver would not suspect anything.

so they get in the car and the driver says: 'are u guys stoned"

they stoners look at each other and not quite inderstand how the hell he found out. So one goes ' dude, how did you know?'

well.........u all set in the front seat

[Guest bcnjunkie]

I think many people should have used brat-x ! and now regret it !

[Guest Cosmigonon]

3 stoners getting a cab on the side of the road.

before getting in they decide not to talk so that the driver would not suspect anything.

so they get in the car and the driver says: 'are u guys stoned"

they stoners look at each other and not quite inderstand how the hell he found out. So one goes ' dude, how did you know?'

well.........u all set in the front seat

LOL!! ;D

[Guest Clarisa]

Marty wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Marty looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table:

"Honey,breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping.

Love you."

So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Marty asks, "Son, what happened last night?"

His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and

delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door." Confused, Marty asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said, "Lady, leave me alone, I'm married!"

A self-induced hangover - $100.00

Broken furniture - $200.00

Breakfast - $10.00

Saying the right thing - Priceless !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Guest Clarisa]

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?†The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.†There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?"