CrzyC1414779017 Posted January 26 Report Share Posted January 26 CINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go tothe ball, but only on two conditions."First, you must wear a diaphragm." Cinderella agrees."What's the second condition?" "You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 a.m. The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00 a.m. Cinderella shows up, looking love struck and very satisfied."Where have you been?" demands the Fairy Godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!""I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything."The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!"Cinderella replied, I can't remember, exactly, .Peter, Peter, something or other...__________________________________________________________________________________________________PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?"Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"__________________________________________________________________________________________________LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD was walking through the woods when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword to her throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!"To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and pulled out a .44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, "No, you're not. You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book."__________________________________________________________________________________________________MICKEY MOUSE and MINNIE MOUSE were in divorce court and the judge said to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy." Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's f**king Goofy."__________________________________________________________________________________________________SNOW WHITE saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up behind him, knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face crying, "Lie to me! Lie to me!"__________________________________________________________________________________________________ Did you know...Captain Hook died from jock itch.________________________________________________________________________________________________----One day, JANE met TARZAN in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him how he engaged to have sex. "What's that?" he asked.She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree."Horrified, she said, "Tarzan, you have it all wrong but I will show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, laid down on the ground and spread her legs. "Here," she said, "you must put it in here."Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, "What the hell did you do that for?""Just checking for bees," said Tarzan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Clarisa Posted January 26 Report Share Posted January 26 I truly enjoyed these ;D ;D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrzyC1414779017 Posted January 26 Author Report Share Posted January 26 ;D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MELI2444 Posted January 26 Report Share Posted January 26 SNOW WHITE saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up behind him, knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face crying, "Lie to me! Lie to me!"______________________________________________________________________________________________________One day, JANE met TARZAN in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him how he engaged to have sex. "What's that?" he asked.She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree."Horrified, she said, "Tarzan, you have it all wrong but I will show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, laid down on the ground and spread her legs. "Here," she said, "you must put it in here."Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, "What the hell did you do that for?""Just checking for bees," said TarzanThese two are hilarious!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MIRZA1414779019 Posted January 26 Report Share Posted January 26 Jack and Jill went up the hill with a buck and a quarter each. Jill came down with two fifty. Dice is the king of fairy jokes lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest shannon_coolj. Posted January 26 Report Share Posted January 26 Cute! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bcnjunkie Posted January 27 Report Share Posted January 27 funny especially the Mickey one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Diabolique Posted January 27 Report Share Posted January 27 *applauds* ;D Snow white sitting on Pinnocio's face --LMAO!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest fairyDust Posted January 27 Report Share Posted January 27 HAHAHHAHA! Little Red Riding Hood ;D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest cutchemist Posted January 27 Report Share Posted January 27 These two are hilarious!!!!agreed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LeVeL Posted January 27 Report Share Posted January 27 Good One C...they are all hilarious ;D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LdySphynx Posted January 27 Report Share Posted January 27 Yep, I like the Little Red Riding Hood as well!!!!I wonder why :!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrzyC1414779017 Posted January 27 Author Report Share Posted January 27 My fave is Snow White. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Diabolique Posted January 28 Report Share Posted January 28 My fave is Snow White. Lie to me! Lie to me! ~LMAO!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Electric Eel Posted January 28 Report Share Posted January 28 lol, these are great! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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