What you DON'T know about DJs

[Guest AlanS]

This is freakin hilarious!!! I saw this in the CP mail blast today and thought I'd share it here..

You see them everywhere. They're now in car commercials. Every Slacker wants to be one. But do you really know anything about DJs? One of LA's finest, DJ Wolfie, gives the inside juice.

-By DJ Wolfie

9. It's a DJ Booth. Not a place to rest your drink.

I mean, come on! The turntables are 500 bucks a pop, that mixer costs a grand. The amplifier is about $1,100 bucks, and you're casually going to set your pina colada on the table? In front of 500 dancers? Use your brain, people. It's your party too! What do you think happens when all that gear shorts out? That’s right. Party over. Finish your drink, and throw it away properly.

7. If you must corrupt a DJ with toxins, do it after his set, not before.

If you get the DJ high before his set, you're on your own. Remember he's the captain of the ship, and if he's too stoned, his set will sound like tennis shoes in the drier, instead of dance music. Thunk thunk, pause, Bump, thunk thunk pause, bump, thunk thunk thunk pause pause, screeeeetch... You get the picture. One time I watched a DJ playing for 20 minutes, listening to his headphones and everything, nodding his head - before he noticed that his headphones weren’t even plugged in.

3. The DJ is not an information booth.

The DJ is there to play music. And to do that properly, he needs his ears and his concentration, not your questions. "Where’s the bathroom?" "Have you seen Jimmy the promoter?" " Can I put my jacket and purse behind the booth?"

I'll tell you the one question you are always allowed to ask a DJ. Are you ready? Here it is. "Hey, do you need a drink?"

1. What do DJs think about when playing music?

In no particular order, here are the things DJs think about while spinning.

"Where did I put that damn flashlight?"

"Did I already play this track?"

"Jesus those are big tits."

"Hmm... They're digging the filtered house stuff..."

"Why's that guy staring at me?"

"Shoot. Which one was my beer..."

"Ugh - I have to pee SO BAD…"

and, most of the time, it's

" 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8, new song, 2, 3, 4, 5,6,7,8 new song, 2,3,4,5,6,7,8, both songs, 7,8, old song,3,4, new song, 7,8, both songs, 3,4,5,6,7,8, only new song, 3,4,5,6,7,8...."

Full Story Here:

http://www.clubplanet.com/news/archive/what_you_dont_know_about_djs.asp

Enjoy ;D

[Guest Marina22]

"Absolutely Loving It ;D"

[ryan2772]

umm...alan....why didn't you highlight this one?:

10. Condoms required when hooking up with a DJ.

Yes, it's true. He's kind of scruffy, totally absorbed in music, and hasn't talked to a girl all night. You've watched him for 3 hours. You're 10 times better looking than him, but he's the one making the whole room dance. You pick him up, thinking you're the first hottie this guy has ever gone home with. Well, you're wrong. He hasn't talked to anyone there because he's busy. And why bother, when hotties just like you come and jump into the boat on their own? That DJ you're about to pick up has had sex after every gig for the last 5 years. With girls just as hot as you. To quote my friend Spaceman "They shouldn't be called DJs. They should be called DVs- Disease Vectors."

dirty, dirty djs!

[Guest Adam Singer]

umm...alan....why didn't you highlight this one?:

10. Condoms required when hooking up with a DJ.

Yes, it's true. He's kind of scruffy, totally absorbed in music, and hasn't talked to a girl all night. You've watched him for 3 hours. You're 10 times better looking than him, but he's the one making the whole room dance. You pick him up, thinking you're the first hottie this guy has ever gone home with. Well, you're wrong. He hasn't talked to anyone there because he's busy. And why bother, when hotties just like you come and jump into the boat on their own? That DJ you're about to pick up has had sex after every gig for the last 5 years. With girls just as hot as you. To quote my friend Spaceman "They shouldn't be called DJs. They should be called DVs- Disease Vectors."

dirty, dirty djs!

not all of us are sluts

[Guest]

[B-SIDE1414779017]

Hey I'm no SLUT >

................... at least not in public

I'm a Monogamous Freak! ;D

[Guest jamu]

Oh this thread is great I already see some of the shit comming. ;D

[Guest durrtylexx]

lmao

so sad but true...

its all good i guess

don't hate the player..

[Guest Cosmigonon]

lmao

so sad but true...

its all good i guess

don't hate the player..

why sad?

[Guest XxGrOoVeERICxX]

7. If you must corrupt a DJ with toxins, do it after his set, not before.

If you get the DJ high before his set, you're on your own. Remember he's the captain of the ship, and if he's too stoned, his set will sound like tennis shoes in the drier, instead of dance music. Thunk thunk, pause, Bump, thunk thunk pause, bump, thunk thunk thunk pause pause, screeeeetch... You get the picture. One time I watched a DJ playing for 20 minutes, listening to his headphones and everything, nodding his head - before he noticed that his headphones weren’t even plugged in.

Some DJ's play better while on toxins 8)

[Guest PORNSTAR]

I love when that happens

[Guest Marina22]

Toxins? What about this wouldn't this distract his spinning more than mere toxins. I just feel bad for the girl cause you know she's a slut and you know there is no condom there. I guess to each his own, but nasty!

[Guest WhereIsZion12]

what the fuck thats hilarious damn i would definetly think that a blow job would mess with his set more so than a little somthin somthin...but it really all depends on how that person works physically...it is true that there are those certain someones who perform better when ...8) we all get the picture!

[Guest lightgirl]

That pic was probably the start of turntablist influences in electronica....

Wickie-wickie-wickie....

Hahhahaha....

[Guest Diabolique]

Hey I'm no SLUT >

................... at least not in public

I'm a Monogamous Freak! ;D

funny, cuz your MySpace Profle says you're a

;D

Humans are not monagamous by nature, as most mammals are known to be.

[Guest Philip]

Humans are not monagamous by nature, as most mammals are known to be.

Funny how our society cannot come to grips with that

[Guest Marina22]

Hey I'm no SLUT >

................... at least not in public

I'm a Monogamous Freak! ;D

funny, cuz your MySpace Profle says you're a

;D

Humans are not monagamous by nature, as most mammals are known to be.

Say it ain't so, but unfortunately we are just glorified apes! ooh ooh hee haw haw

[Guest Darwin Castillo]

9. It's a DJ Booth. Not a place to rest your drink.

I mean, come on! The turntables are 500 bucks a pop, that mixer costs a grand. The amplifier is about $1,100 bucks, and you're casually going to set your pina colada on the table? In front of 500 dancers? Use your brain, people. It's your party too! What do you think happens when all that gear shorts out? That’s right. Party over. Finish your drink, and throw it away properly.

ATTN: PROMOTERS!!!

Read the above reference!

[Guest Diabolique]

Humans are not monagamous by nature, as most mammals are known to be.

Funny how our society cannot come to grips with that

It's called Ignorance...or romantic...depending on who you're talking to...

even love is a chemical reaction. :/

[Guest missgroovethang]

WOW That is so right on!!!l LOL

[Guest WhereIsZion12]

Humans are not monagamous by nature, as most mammals are known to be.

Funny how our society cannot come to grips with that

It's called Ignorance...or romantic...depending on who you're talking to...

even love is a chemical reaction. :/

damn right...love is all about a chemical reaction

[Guest Cosmigonon]

Hey I'm no SLUT >

................... at least not in public

I'm a Monogamous Freak! ;D

funny, cuz your MySpace Profle says you're a

;D

Humans are not monagamous by nature, as most mammals are known to be.

LMAO