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Pick up lines


starbrite

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ok this might be old, but funny!

Subject: Austin Powers - chat up lines

1. I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long.

2. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these wet

clothes.

3. Nice legs...what time do they open?

4. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.

5. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?

6. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

7. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one

talking to you.

8. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name-tag.

9. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.

10. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a

light switch away.

11. Are those real?

12. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther

for that thing you do with your tongue.

13. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by

morning.

14. (Look down at your crotch) Well it's not just going to suck itself.

15. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.

16. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?

17. F*@# me if I'm wrong, but is your name Helga Titsbottom?

18. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom

floor.

19. My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.

20. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

21. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

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...and the combacks often heard at SF

1. And I wish I was a mirror so you could see how stupid you look (pity look on her face).

2. The only thing wet around here is your tiny pecker (walking away)

3. Your bed-time is sooner than that.

4. Oh! ...that thing that resembles a peanut was your package? ...my bad.

5. You call that a bone? ...Nigga Pleaze!!!

6. I doubt you got enough.

7. And why?

8. I don't date blind assholes anyway.

9. And why? ...I feel sorry for you as it is.

10. SWITCH OFF, buddy!!! (walking away)

11. No, they're not! ...but they're much softer than the ones on your rubber doll. I guess you'll just have to take my word for it.

12. (stick out the tongue, ...walking away)

13. You know? ...latest studies prove that wet dreams play a significant role in any young boy's development.

14. I'd consider it but I already flossed my teeth this morning.

15. Sorry, I prefer men.

16. Yeah, are there going to be any men to go with those handcuffs and cream?

17. fu then!

18. Give me your address. I'll mail them to you when I get home.

19. Right! That's my boyfriend's name too!

20. Yeah, try that ...maybe I'll notice you this time.

21. Do you believe everything that people tell you?

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Here are some classic retorts to those comebacks, but they are "a little" crude:

Man: Haven't I seen you some place before?

Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there considers

you a slut.

Man: Is this seat empty?

Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Probably because you will be on your knees gobblin' on

my cock

Man: Your place or mine?

Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: That's cool, cause after I get done smackin' it to you in the back of my car...... I don't give a shit where you go.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?

Woman: Unfertilised.

Man: No problem, I can always shoot it on your back.

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.

Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: That works for me....... as long as you are still a

little warm.

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AIM: Spragga25

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Here are some more lines...I almost forgot!

PICK UP LINES THAT MAY GET YOU KILLED

1. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?

2. I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.

3. If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!

4. How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?

5. I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face.

6. My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.

7. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let's go fuck.

8. Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would love to tap that ass!!!!!

9. If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas,

could I meet you between the holidays?

10. You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you

or eat you!

11. Your parents must be retarded, because you are special.

12. Could I touch your belly button . . . from the inside?

13. I'm not too good at algebra, but doesn't U+I = 69?

14. How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and

I'll put my head in.

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AIM: Spragga25

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1. the only thing your eyes havent told me... is your name.

2. are you a speeding ticket?

cause you got FINE written all over you...

3. didnt you steal my orange crayon in kindergarten?

4. wanna play carpenter? you get hammered and i'll nail you...

5. DgModel: I have a watch that tells me youre not wearing any panties...

Hot Girl: but I am wearing panties...

DgModel: it must be an hour fast...

6. I love every bone in your body...

Including mine...

7. If i could rearange the alphabet id put U&I together...`

8. I found the F, C, K, Now all i need is you...

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Some Quick Comebacks:

Wanna Dance?

No...

oh you misunderstand i said you look fat in those pants...

wanna dance?

No thank you...

Dont thank me... thank G*d somebody asked you..

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...don't be afraid to look into my eyes,I'll catch ya if you fall in love...

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~*If you're naughty, go to your room. If you want to be naughty, come to my room!*~ cwm30.gifcwm29.gif

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~The poor long for Riches,

The rich long for Heaven,

But the wise desire Tranquility.~

*"The only good is knowledge. The only evil is ignorance."* Socrates

*Love always starts with a kiss, and ends with a tear.*

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