rachel1997 Posted January 22 Report Share Posted January 22 ========================= Naughty Joke Of The Day=========================Late one night, little Johnny woke up to the some loud noisescoming from his parents' bedroom. He got out of bed and walked downthe hall towards his parents room. Before he made it to the end ofthe hall, the noises had ceased and the bathroom light had goneon. Little Johnny walked into the bathroom and saw his fatherremoving a used condom."Daddy, what are you doing?" asked little Johnny.His father looked around nervously wondering what he could tellhis son.I, um, I'm just checking out the bathroom for mice." repliedhis father.Johnny looked at his father with a gaze of confusion and said,"Well, what are you doing? Fucking them?"------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phrankadelic Posted January 22 Report Share Posted January 22 A man and his wife got into bed for the night. The wife had curled up ready for sleep and the husband put his bed lamp on to read a book. As he was reading, he stopped and reached over to his wife and started fondlingher pussy. He did this only for a very short while then stopped and went back toreading his book.The wife got up and started stripping in front of him. The husband was confused and asked, "What the hell are doing, taking all your jammies off?" The wife replied, "You were playing with my pussy. I thought it was foreplay forsomething a bit heavier".The husband said, "Hell no! I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages.------------------I've got the beat...the one for your mind as well as your feet!AIM: Phatskils2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phrankadelic Posted January 22 Report Share Posted January 22 Ok...here's my Johnny joke:A kindergarten teacher comes to class and says, "Today class I am going to give you a letter of the alphabet and I want you to give me a word that begins with that letter." She begins with the letter "A" and all the kids raise their hands. There is one kid in the back named Johnny that is real eager to answer the question, but the teacher knows that he is always vulgar and likes to use obscenities so she chooses on little Mary to answer. Mary stands and says,"A...Apple" The teacher replies,"That's great, Mary, good job." So she moves on to the letter "B", and again Johnny is still eager to answer the question, but the teacher is sure that he will probably say "Bitch" or something like that so she calls on Todd. Todd says,"B...Baseball." And the teacher replies,"Good Job, Todd."So they start going through the alphabet and the class' attention dwindles, except for Johnny. The teacher comes to the letter "R" and no one, except for Johnny, is raising their hand so she is forced to call on him. "Okay Johnny, what starts with R?" she says. "R...Rat" Johnny replies. "Rat, ...that's it...rat?" the teacher questions with astonishment. "Yeah," says Johnny, "Big-ass mother-fuckin' rat with a dick 12 inches long." ------------------I've got the beat...the one for your mind as well as your feet!AIM: Phatskils2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachel1997 Posted January 22 Author Report Share Posted January 22 OMG GUYS!! those were so funny! Thank you! ------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morpheus_ Posted January 22 Report Share Posted January 22 our pleasure, i'm sure.. morph_ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phrankadelic Posted January 22 Report Share Posted January 22 another one for u all:Dr. Seuss test See if you can do this. Read each line aloud Dr. Suess' lost tongue twisters This is this cat This is is cat This is how cat This is to cat This is keep cat This is a cat This is dumbass cat This is busy cat This is for cat This is forty cat This is seconds catNow go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top. ------------------I've got the beat...the one for your mind as well as your feet!AIM: Phatskils2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
salaar Posted January 22 Report Share Posted January 22 So these two tenneagers were making out in a movie theatre.Its getting all hoot a steamy when the boy comes up and says "hey you know this is great but can you stop passing me your gum"The girl gives him a wierd look then says"Thats not gum thats my bronchiatis"Eww Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
salaar Posted January 22 Report Share Posted January 22 What does a 3000 gerble do when its bored?Shoves gay men up its ass!heh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmb1975 Posted January 23 Report Share Posted January 23 I am giving fair warning...its gross...A man walks in to a bathroom and sees a man withno arms standing at a urinal. The man pays noattention to him and starts to wash his hands.Suddenly the man with no arms says, "Hey buddy,do you think you could help me out here?" The manthinks to himself, well he can't do it alone, Iguess I have to help him. He then reluctantlysays ok.The handicap man asks him to pull it out. The mandoes and starts walking away. The man with noarms asks him to help maneuver his penis out.Once again then man was not to fond of the idea,but agreed. He did it quickly and ran back towash his hands. Then the man with no arms says,"You know I'm making a mess over here, do youthink you could hold it and point it for me."Well the man wants no part of this but once againdecides that he can't do it himself so it wouldbe kind of him to help.When he looks down, he sees a dick with puss andpimples and nasty shit all over it. He looks atthe guy with no arms and says, "What the hell iswrong with your dick?" The guy pulls his arms outof his sleeves and says, "I DON'T KNOW BUT I'M NOTTOUCHIN THE FUCKING THING!!!"------------------i know what i want, but it took me a long time to figure it out Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morpheus_ Posted January 23 Report Share Posted January 23 John Bobbit gets in an argument with her wife, who, enraged, grabs a kitchen knife and cuts John's dick right off. He can't believe it, he grabs the chopped off Wiener and runs panicking to the garage to get to a hospital. He begs her to drive him, she does.On the way, he goes all crazy 'you fucking bitch' this and 'what the fuck' that and 'you dumb cunt' ranting and raving..so she finally goes nuts again and throws ole johnny's dick out of the moving car. it almost immediately goes SPLAT on the windshield of an 18 wheeler driving right behind them.. the driver in total shock turns to his co-driver and yells:HOLY SHIT DID YOU SEE THE COCK ON THAT FLY !!!!!!<grin>morph_ ------------------This is my churchThis is where i heal my hurtsIt's in natural grace Or watching young lives shape It's in minor keys Solutions and remedies Enemies becoming friends When bitterness ends This is my church Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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