cmb1975 Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 for a Monday morning...A little old lady with blue hair entered the sex aids shopand asked in a quavering voice,"Yy-young man, dd-do y-you sell-l d-dildoes h-here?"The salesman, somewhat taken aback by the little old lady's appearance in his shop, answered, "Uh, yes ma'am. We do."The little old lady, holding her quivering hands about 10 inches apart asked "D-do y-you ha-ave an-ny ab-bb-bout th-this lon-ong?""Well, yes ma-am, we do. We have several that size."Forming a 5" circle with her fingers, she then asked, "A-are an-nny of t-them ab-b-bout thi-is b-big ar-round-d?""Well.... yes ma'am, a few of them are about that big.""D-do aa-ny of t-them ha-ave a v-v-vibra-a-ator?""Yes ma'am, one of them does.""Well th-then, h-how d-do yo-ou t-turn it off?"------------------i know what i want, but it took me a long time to figure it out Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phrankadelic Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 how bout this one:Escaped Convict > >An escaped convict, imprisoned for 1st degree murder, >had spent 25 years of his life sentence in prison. >While on the run, he broke into a house >and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping >in the bedroom. >He tied the man to a chair on one side of the room and >his wife on the bed. >He got on the bed right over the woman, and it appeared >he was kissing her neck. >Looking at her husband, her eyes widened. >Suddenly he got up and left the room. >As soon as possible the husband made his way >across the room to his bride, >his chair in tow, and whispered, >"Honey, this guy hasn't seen a woman in >years. I saw him kissing on your neck and then he >left in a hurry. >Just cooperate and do anything he wants. If he wants >to have sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like >it. >Whatever you do don't fight him >or make him mad. Our lives depend on it! >Be strong and I love you." >After spitting out the gag in her mouth, the half >naked wife says: >"Dear, I'm so relieved you feel that way. You're right, >he hasn't seen a woman in years, but he wasn't kissing my >neck. He was whispering in my ear. He said he thinks you're really >cute and asked if we kept the Vaseline in the bathroom. >Be strong and I love you, too." ------------------I've got the beat...the one for your mind as well as your feet!AIM: Phatskils2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachel1997 Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 LMAO!!! THOSE WERE FUCKING GOOD!------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orchid21 Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 lol these are pretty good ------------------ "follow your personal legend" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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