cmb1975 Posted March 21 Report Share Posted March 21 Guys, I need to know...My ex and I broke up last Saturday. Basically, I am sick of initiating everything and not get anything in return. He cannot express his feelings to me, and he has trouble admitting them to himself...So, we, mostly he, decided for us to be friends and he maybe then he will realize that he wants to be with me...Ok fine, so I try to deal with it, i'll be ok...However, since Saturday he has called me everyday, very unlike him, just to talk about nothing, really...I don't get it...What is he doing? I need a advice on this. Guys, tell me what his thinking is?------------------ The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starcapone Posted March 21 Report Share Posted March 21 Originally posted by vampienyc10:I think what we have here that he is getting a taste of what it is like to not have you around and he misses you.....exactly!! some guys have a problem w/ showing/sharing their feelings for some reason. i guess they don't want the feminine side of them to show... ------------------ * can't deny me, why would u want to .. u need me, why don't u try me .. baby u'd want to .. believe me * Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmb1975 Posted March 21 Author Report Share Posted March 21 Originally posted by djstripe:...just to add to what has already been said.......there is also a fear of loosing something that is comfortable.....I went through that....it is harder to let go when it's been going on for awhile....(mine was 5 1/2 yrs)....are you to honestly trying to give "it" a break or are you two just saying that to get a reaction from each other......things that make you say hmmmmmI was under the impression on Saturday that we were gonna just be friends. He said maybe he would realize his feelings once we were apart...like "you don't know what you have till its gone"...so, why the phone calls? I have no clue...I was usually always the one to pick up the phone and call and ask if he was coming over etc, etc,...now all of a sudden he's calling me, everyday...i wanted to get a guys perspective on it...to figure out why...------------------ The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theflash Posted March 21 Report Share Posted March 21 Originally posted by cmb1975:Guys, I need to know...My ex and I broke up last Saturday. Basically, I am sick of initiating everything and not get anything in return. He cannot express his feelings to me, and he has trouble admitting them to himself...So, we, mostly he, decided for us to be friends and he maybe then he will realize that he wants to be with me...Ok fine, so I try to deal with it, i'll be ok...However, since Saturday he has called me everyday, very unlike him, just to talk about nothing, really...I don't get it...What is he doing? I need a advice on this. Guys, tell me what his thinking is?How long were you with this guy? ------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
back2basics- Posted March 21 Report Share Posted March 21 Absence make the heart grow fonder.When my last relationship broke up (which was my choosing), after about a week of thinking about it i started wondering if i had done the right thing. It was silly because i had 7 years of thinking about it and in one week i stared having doubts. I called once, but didn't again, which i think was the best think for my cituation.Not saying this is why he is doing it but i do think he may have had time to think and digest.Bloody good look ------------------I want to go out blazing..not fade away.Trust in the currency of relationships, it's hard to earn but easy to loose - back2basics Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmb1975 Posted March 21 Author Report Share Posted March 21 Originally posted by back2basics-:Absence make the heart grow fonder.When my last relationship broke up (which was my choosing), after about a week of thinking about it i started wondering if i had done the right thing. It was silly because i had 7 years of thinking about it and in one week i stared having doubts. I called once, but didn't again, which i think was the best think for my cituation.Not saying this is why he is doing it but i do think he may have had time to think and digest.Bloody good look good look? huh?anyway, so does that mean you think he HAS had time to think about it and maybe regrets it or HAS NOT had enought time...i was with him for a little over a year------------------ The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
back2basics- Posted March 21 Report Share Posted March 21 Originally posted by cmb1975: good look? huh?anyway, so does that mean you think he HAS had time to think about it and maybe regrets it or HAS NOT had enought time...i was with him for a little over a yearJust good luck with the way you want it to turn out... nothing more, nothing less.I don't have a direct line to you guys head, but reading it again he is doing exactly what he is said he wanted to do. "decided for us to be friends and he maybe then he will realize that he wants to be with me"Get to know you with out the comfort of a relationship.. but that doesn't make much sence to me, because you can get to know somebody IN a relationship. So he must be unhappy about something else. Yes some guys do have a problem expressing there feelings, but it's easier to express those feeling with somebody you have known (sorry just thinking aloud here).As you have said, why call you so soon and every day if HE was the one that said he needed the time alone, to revalue you relationship. Maybe he feels he is fullfilling his pledge to be freinds, freinds do call each other. But again why break up for that, why not spend time away from each other?How old is he? Doesn't sound like he knows what he want's, give hime the time. If he really wants you you will know. If not you don't want to be with somebody who doesn't want you. Sometimes it's better not to try an analize things too much and just see what happens IMO.Sorry that i couldn't be of more use.------------------I want to go out blazing..not fade away.Trust in the currency of relationships, it's hard to earn but easy to loose - back2basics Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmb1975 Posted March 21 Author Report Share Posted March 21 b2b...honey thank you...you have helped more than you know...just to have someone listen is help enough...------------------ The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theflash Posted March 21 Report Share Posted March 21 The truth is he doesn't know what he is thinking or what he wants, perpetuated by the fact that after he decides to be friends he starts calling you much more often, which is something which he failed to do while you were in the relationship with him. (I hope that makes some sense). My only advice would be don't put your life on hold. When I was a younger fool I had something very similar happen to me with my girlfriend at that time, basically got strung along for a long time. Lesson learned. Finally, just keep in your mind nothing lasts forever, things happen.------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roadrunner Posted March 21 Report Share Posted March 21 like the other guys who responded, i would have to agree that he doesn't know what he wants. like you, he is probably also reassessing the relationship and trying to figure out what it meant/ means to him, and is still trying to understand what his life would be like without you in it. he may also be having trouble regaining his identity without you. all tough questions...------------------*i'm in love with the modern world Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djstripe Posted March 21 Report Share Posted March 21 Originally posted by roadrunner:like the other guys who responded, i would have to agree that he doesn't know what he wants. like you, he is probably also reassessing the relationship and trying to figure out what it meant/ means to him, and is still trying to understand what his life would be like without you in it. he may also be having trouble regaining his identity without you. all tough questions.......lol...you're give guys (majority of them at least) way to much mental credit... not that much self reflective annalysing occurs in a cavemans head............ugh....where girl go...ugh...um...ugh...me feel beter when girl here....ugh.....now me no have em girl to drag by hair..... ------------------ OBE is a thing of beauty... to the beat of the drum ... bang ... to the beat of the drum .. bang bang ...[This message has been edited by djstripe (edited 03-21-2001).] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmb1975 Posted March 22 Author Report Share Posted March 22 Originally posted by djstripe: ....lol...you're give guys (majority of them at least) way to much mental credit... not that much self reflective annalysing occurs in a cavemans head............ugh....where girl go...ugh...um...ugh...me feel beter when girl here....ugh.....now me no have em girl to drag by hair..... LMFAO!!! I think you might be on to something...------------------ The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msoprano Posted March 22 Report Share Posted March 22 the phone calls will eventually stop because he is doing this because he thinks you want him to. tell him to stop but remember this...you always want what you cant have------------------TWILO'S WACK !!!! Sorry guys it is "don't get attached to anything you're not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you spot the heat coming around the corner"Robert DeniroAIM:MSOPRANO13Email: msoprano13@yahoo.com "IM GONNA MAKE YOU AN OFFER YOU CANT REFUSE" MSOPRANO13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scaredgirl Posted March 22 Report Share Posted March 22 cmb1975 let him to do that,u said he never express his feelings so alow him to call u everyday,doesn't matter maybe he is trying. sometimes there Is people who doesn't find easy expressing his feelings, u have to give him the chance to speak,just don't say nothing bad to him,act like nothing is happening I mean if he calls u,just be normal be who u are,don't get angry,be normal give him the feeling that he can open his self to u.. bealive me the more u ask him to say what he feels the more he won't do it just give him a chance when he calls u or try to see u,let him get ur heart again,don't run and say to him yes let's be together again but also dont say no ,waite until he start to missing u so he surly will opend his heart.I think he just need to feel a little bit more confident with him self .If u realy love him take time for u to think at nights and clear up ur mind so u will do the correct thing without hurting ur self or him self..------------------ Making Love And Having Sex The Biggest Pleasures in This Life. ScaredGirL.[This message has been edited by scaredgirl (edited 03-21-2001).] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vampienyc10 Posted March 22 Report Share Posted March 22 I think what we have here that he is getting a taste of what it is like to not have you around and he misses you.....------------------AIM vampienyc10e-mail: vampie@aol.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djstripe Posted March 22 Report Share Posted March 22 ...just to add to what has already been said.......there is also a fear of loosing something that is comfortable.....I went through that....it is harder to let go when it's been going on for awhile....(mine was 5 1/2 yrs)....are you to honestly trying to give "it" a break or are you two just saying that to get a reaction from each other......things that make you say hmmmmm------------------ OBE is a thing of beauty... to the beat of the drum ... bang ... to the beat of the drum .. bang bang ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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