phrankadelic Posted May 10 Report Share Posted May 10 Bright and early for ya! ---------------------------------------------A large, powerfully-built guy named Raymond meets a woman named Polly at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, Raymond stands up and starts to undress. After he takes his shirt off, Raymond flexes his muscular arms and says, "See that, baby? That's 1000 pounds of dynamite!" Polly begins to drool. Raymond then drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder's pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, "See those, baby? That's 1000 pounds of dynamite!" Polly is just aching for action at this point. Finally, Raymond drops his underpants, and after a quick glance, Polly grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door. Raymond catches her before she is able to leave and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to go?" Polly then replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!"-------------------------------------------------A woman in the bar says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery."The lady asks, "How do I do it without surgery?""Just rub toilet paper between them."Startled the lady asks, "How does that make them bigger?""I don't know, but it worked for your ass."------------------------------------------------Two drunks had just gotten thrown out of the bar and are walking down the street when they come across this dog, sitting on the curb, licking his balls. They stand there watching and after a while one of them says, " I sure wish I could do that!"The other one looks at him and says, "Well, I think I'd pet him first".------------------------------------------------A koala walks into a bar one night, slams his paw down on the table, and orders a drink. When he's done, slam goes his paw again for more. This goes on for about half an hour, and just when he was going to do it again, the barkeep told him if he was looking for a good time, there was some one in the back room who could help him, the koala decides why not and goes into the back room. There he meets a prostitute who is waiting for him. That night he has the best sex he has ever had. Afterthe prostitute turns to the koala and says, "How about my money," the koala looked confused and the prostitute brought out a dictionary and it said...PROSTITUTE: Has sex for money.So in response the koala turn to the definition for the koala and it says. KOALA: Eats bush and leaves. ------------------ AIM: Phatskils2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
torontotrance Posted May 10 Report Share Posted May 10 thanks for the laugh------------------"No Sound System Is Safe"-Leftfield Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachel1997 Posted May 10 Report Share Posted May 10 Heard them all before but they are still funny!! blondie ------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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