phrankadelic Posted May 18 Report Share Posted May 18 A guy stops by to visit his friend. They talk for a while and then the friend asks, "My feet are cold. Would you be so kind as to go get me my sneakers please?" The guest obliges and goes upstairs. There he sees his friend's daughters, both very good looking. Being the adventurous and quick thinking kind, he says: "Hi, ladies! Your daddy sent me here to have sex with you!" They stare at him and say, "That can't be!" He replies, "OK, let's check!" He shouts at his friend down the stairs, "Both of them?" "Yes, both of them!"-------------------------------------------------A young guy was laying on his back on a massage table, wearing only a towel over his groin. A young, very attractive Swedish girl was massaging his shoulders, then his chest, and gradually worked her way down his torso. The guy was getting sexually excited as the masseur approached the towel. The towel began to lift and the Swedish girl arched her eyebrows. "You wanna wank?" she asked. "You bet," came the excited reply. "O.K.," she said. "I come back in ten minutes."----------------------------------------------------Jane was a first time contestant on the $65,000 quiz show, where you have to answer questions to win the cash prize.Lady luck had smiled in her favor, as Jane had a gained substantial lead over her opponents. She even managed to win the game but, unfortunately, time had run out before the show's host could ask her the big question. Needless to say, Jane agreed to return the following day. Jane was nervous and fidgety as her husband drove them home. "I've just gotta win tomorrow. I wish I knew what the answers are. You know I'm not going to sleep at all tonight. I will probably look like garbage tomorrow.""Relax, honey," her husband, Roger, reassured her. "It will all be OK." Ten minutes after they arrived home, Roger grabbed the car keys and started heading out the door. "Where are you going?" Jane asked. "I have a little errand to run. I should be back soon" he replied. Jane waited impatiently for Roger's return. After an agonizing 3 hour absence, Roger returned, sporting a very wide and wicked grin. "Honey, I managed to get tomorrow's question and answer!""What is it?" she cried excitedly."OK. The question is: 'What are the three main parts of the male anatomy?' And the answer is 'The head, the heart, and the penis.' " Shortly after that, the couple went to sleep with Jane, now feeling confident and at ease, plummeting into a deep and restful slumber. At 3:30 in the morning, however, Jane was shaken awake by Roger, who was asking her the quiz show question. "The head, the heart, and the penis," Jane replied groggily before returning to sleep. And Roger asked her again in the morning, this time as Jane was brushing her teeth. Once again, Jane replied correctly.So it was that Jane was once again on the set of the quiz show. Even though she knew the question and answer, she could feel the butterflies conquering her stomach and nervousness running through her veins. The cameras began running and the host, after reminding the audience of the previous days events, faced Jane and asked the big question."Jane, for $65,000, what are the main parts of the male anatomy? You have 10 seconds.""Hmm, uhm, the head?" she said nervously. "Very good. Six seconds.""Eh, uh, the heart?" "Very good! Four seconds.""I, uhh, ooooooohh, darn! My husband drilled it into me last night and I had it on the tip of my tongue this morning...""That's close enough," said the game show host, "CONGRATULATIONS!!!" ------------------ AIM: Phatskils2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unbound Posted May 18 Report Share Posted May 18 LOL------------------ I Wanna Rock ~ WhatAfuckTëMA AIM: ArthurBrooklyn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dale77 Posted May 18 Report Share Posted May 18 Luv the last one.Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!------------------You're only young once Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
torontotrance Posted May 18 Report Share Posted May 18 Luv the last one.I agree------------------Brian Transeau (BT) on MusicTotally. I love what guys like Oliver Lieb and Paul Van Dyk do. I hate that ATB and those sorts of people have prostituted this stuff. You listen to an ATB track and then you listen to Sasha, and the difference is as obvious as listening to Led Zeppelin and Rachmaninoff.Laurent Garnier on MusicFor Garnier it's also a question of quality. "The problem is a lot of things I hear out here on the radio are not trance - I mean that ATB track I heard the other day - is this trance? This is fucking Tellytubbies music." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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