it's news to me

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Reported in the New Yankee Journal 06/20 by Rafael Gomingoa

Dance Producer BT and DJ Sasha set to produce C. Aguilera album

In a shocking announcement on Wednesday dance music producer Brian Transeau, or BT to his fans, and internationally acclaimed DJ Sasha have agreed to produce pop-star Christina Aguilera’s next album. BT recently produced Boy Band N’Sync’s latest single “Pop” and has been rumored to be working with N’Sync frontman Justin Timberlake and his equally famous girlfriend Britney Spears on a collaboration album.

“I am very excited about what we might be able to accomplish together” said BT.

“BT is an amazing producer and I hope his recent work on ‘Pop’ proves that dance music and mainstream pop music can come together” quips Aguilera outside of a hotel on her flashy, non-stop tour.

Alexander Coe, or Sasha as he’s known, is a UK born DJ who has collaborated with BT in the past. The two released the single “Ride” under the moniker ‘Two Phat Cunts’ and have been friends for a few years. Sasha has been unavailable for an interview for months because he is supposedly holed up in a recording studio finishing off the last few songs for his highly anticipated debut artist album of original material. While many eagerly await Sasha’s return to the dance music scene our investigative reporters have recently learned that Sasha was working diligently on his album, but has since given up and has been following Aguilera on tour religiously for the last 8 months.

“I’m a genie in a bottle baby, come, come, come on and get me out” is all that Sasha would say during a recent interview. He seems to be fascinated by the songstress Aguilera and to the dismay of many of Sasha’s female fans, he is rumored to be in love with the former Mickey Mouse Club member.

Former DJing partner, and longtime friend of Sasha, John Digweed has expressed interest in following down the path of BT and Sasha.

“I see the reasoning behind moving towards pop music, I just hope I get to meet Carson Daly!” said Digweed during an interview in the crowd outside Times Square during the filming of an episode of TRL.

BT was reluctant to work with N’Sync on their single at first, but says he was overwhelmed by their checkbooks.

“Some might say I’m selling out, but I like to think of it as cashing in!$!” claims BT.

The new Aguilera album is due out this fall and BT, Sasha, C. Aguilera, B. Spears, N’Sync, Backstreet Boys, Pink, Ray Munns, Mya, Pauly Shore, and Carson Daly have all been held up in the recording studio for weeks tweaking out the finishing touches to Aguilera’s 3rd album, tentatively titled “You will buy this album!”

With the recent arrival of dance music producers and DJ’s into the pop music world we can only assume that pop music will be leaning towards the repetitive music loosely defined as ‘house.’ MTV hopes to cash in on this and take dance music to new levels of commercial exposure, while raping as many true artists and musicians as they can in the process. MTV is already planning a new show to air after TRL, it’s most popular show, entitled “Learn to Like This” where dance music will be played over and over until the general population salivates for it like Pavlov’s dog. MTV Online will also be selling offical Ray Munn’s endorsed glowsticks for $29.99 a pair.

[fiatmusica]

Scratch:

I hope you know that this is a joke someone posted on the twilo board and has since been spread around...

the last paragraph "mtv raping dance culture" etc. is something of a giveaway.

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"He sought to know all things, but nothing did he learn"

-Gerard de Nerval

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maybe i should've tittled it differently.

I knew it was a joke, Fiat. I didn't realized it's been passed around that much already. A friend sent it to me, and I nearly passed out. I'm a really guillible girl. Just thought it was worth a few laughs.