MissDiva Posted January 10 Report Share Posted January 10 Nothin better than cheesey dirty jokes to get your morning started #1One day a husband and wife were in the bathroom. The wife gets out of the shower and the husband grabs her boobs and says "If these were firmer you wouldn't need a bra." The wife is repulsed by his behavior and ignores him. The next week the two are again in the bathroom and while the wife was getting out of the shower he grabs her stomach and says "If your stomach was firmer you wouldn't need a girdle." The wife is now extremely pissed off and starts plotting her revenge. So one day a week later the husband is getting out of the shower...The wife grabs his dick and says"If this was a little bit bigger I wouldn't need your brother." #2A couple was invited to a masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping for an hour, awakened feeling much better so she decided to go to the party. Since her husband didn't know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching him to see how he acted when she was not with him. So she got to the party and spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could. His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived. She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little bang. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior. She was sitting up reading when he came home and asked what kind of a time he had. He said, "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there." Then she asked, "Did you dance much?" He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Don and Bill and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But I'll tell you... the guy I loaned my costume to, sure had a real good time!" #3A construction worker on the 3rd floor of a building needs a handsaw so he sees another man on the 1st floor. He yells down to him, but he can't hear, so he does sign language. The man on the 3rd floor does sign language. He points at his eye meaning "I", points at his knee meaning "need", and moves his hand back and forth in a handsaw motion. The man on the 1st floor knods his head, pulls down his pants, and starts masturbating. The man on the 3rd floor gets so angry he runs down to the 1st floor and says," What the fuck is wrong with you dumbass? I said I need handsaw!!" The other guy says," I knew that, I was just trying to tell you I'm coming." ------------------xoxo "Drugs may be the wrong path...but at least its a scenic route!" xoxoMissDiva19@aol.com[This message has been edited by MissDiva (edited 01-10-2001).] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dontshow Posted January 10 Report Share Posted January 10 Thank you![This message has been edited by dontshow (edited 01-10-2001).] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strut06 Posted January 10 Report Share Posted January 10 Very funny!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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