Guest chinagirl Posted January 30 Report Share Posted January 30 I got this email today and i thought i would share, it was to funny. LONG ISLANDlet's examine Long Island, since everyone seems to be from there..; ..thegirls are jappy, most of them have naval rings and butterfly tattoos theguys think they are all hard when really they are pathetic pieces of white wannabe trash that would get their asses beat to a significant pulp should they set FOOT in Harlem or brooklyn....everyone is either catholic, Jewish,Irish or italian....for their 16th birthday, everyone gets a car, and those who don't drive daddy's lexus (whether or not they have a license)...everyone has a beeper...before graduation, 90% of the population has seen some part of Europe or the Caribbean...before the age of 17, 99.9% of thepopulationhas never worked a day in their life ...designer drugs are boughtand sold right in front of the oblivious principal on school grounds...ecstasy, weed, and k are moreaccessible than milk and eggs....summertime is characterized by the following: 2pm: wake up....4pm: go shopping...6pm: start drinking....drive around in search of weed...find weed...drive around in search of somewhere to smoke....smoke....end up at the beach,drinking and smoking....whip out the cell phone....call in search of more weed...drive around to pick up....drivearound in search of more weed....find a place to smoke...smoke....repeat asnecessary....everyone knows each other's business...oh yeah, and all the girls are named either"Kimberly", "Tiffany", "Kristen", "Jess","Jenn", or some funky spelling of"Christina, Christine, Krystina, etc".the guys are all named"Nick", "Mike", "Matt", "Chris","Anthony","Jay" or "Steve"Long island life is characterized by an uncanny resemblance to Melrose place(refer to Aimee Fischer...)and westside story, as next doortowns have hugerivalries and brawls and basically much beef over absolutely nothing...Long island lingo is a composition of would-be ebonies spoken by white pretty-boys and girls who look and act as if they stepped out of the movie ''CLUELESS''.popular phrases include the following:"'Phat"' ( 'cool')"what the deal" ( 'what's going on?')...'"what up"' (a ghetto-form of ''what's up?'')'"puffing"'(smoking weed)'"that's dick"' or '"that's fucked up"'...('"that's messed up"' or "'that was really wrong"')'"cruising"'...(drivin around aimlessly, usually insearch of designerdrugs/weed)'"chillin"'...(a very versatile word, which can be used in response to the question''what are you doing?'' in this context it means, ''nothing really, just hanging out contentedly'')"chill"'...(if someone or something is 'chill', then it's good; OR 'chill' means to"relax", (come down. )"my bad"' ("'my mistake'')"it's all good"' (everything's 'chill' / everything's cool)"sweating"' (meaning you like someone)''got the hook up''...(meaning someone has information or some connections)''yo''...(this word is used at the beginning and end of basically every sentence,as a dangling participle, example: ''that fucked up, yo''.. a word with no purpose)''kick it''...(as in ''he was trying to kick it to me'' meaning ''get with"')''ghetto''...(if something is '"ghetto'', then it is similarly "on welfare", "on lifesupport", or more properly ''lacking in some way''...''an inferior form of (something")"throw on some tunes"' (''put on some music'')"i'm gonna hit you back a little later'' or ''I'll hit you up''( '"i'll call you later"', or ''I'll call you"')"you know the digits"'(''you know the phone number'')"sevs" (7-11, a popular hangout spot, either before parties, or after the Long Island pigs break up the parties, which probably sucked anyway)"mathematics" (phone numbers)"mad"' or '"crazy'' ( "a whole lot of")"DPA" (Deer Park Avenue. Popular with the club crowd, "the club sluts", and"the playas". The boys go up here to a) show off their tinted, chromed, having a very loud system cars, to other guys. or to pick up chickenheads and get some digits, and some ass.)"kicks"' (sneakers)"for real"' ( '"no, really'")"i'm sayin"' (refer to ""for real"')"frontin" (to front is to be fake to someones face, in : 'why u fronting'or, why are you acting like something your not, or why are you lieing right to my face")long island girls are generally spoiled 'daddy's-little-girls' who fallinto one of three categories:a) the good, innocent catholic girl who hangs out with the "cool " bad crowd, but retains morals and values. They always fall for the bad boy, and somehow get hurt in the end. the skanky lowdown slut, who hangs out with the "cool" bad crowd, but is in no way respected or liked:""gets mad ass"" (because as we all know,for most long island guys a pussy doesn't have a face unless you draw one). AKA- "chickenheads". They are yourtypical "club sluts". Who have NO RESPECT for themselves and wear practicallynothing when they attend clubs EVERY SINGLE week.C)then there are the rejects--the freaks. but they aren't normal so we won't discuss them. the girls are all about shopping every weekend for new clothes and steve madden shoes, or shoes from bakers. favorite stores are contempo, wet seal, express, bebe, prada, gap, j crew, banana republic, gucci, and guess.for the lower societal class girls, G + G provides adequate fashion. as a coming of age event,every girl has been taken on a shopping spree on 5th avenue at least once.d) There are also the long island jock girls. Who are all decked out in Abercrombie all the time, and yes, "front" as if they are good girls, but you know that they really are not. They play sports such as lacrosse, or soccer, and are very into themselves. They are VERY fake people. Dont be fooled.But there are always exceptions, you may even find a totally decent girl, who does have goals in her life and wants to become something more than your average makeup artists at Macys. And if you do- dont let her go, because there are alot of shady people on Long Island. long island guys also fall into one of two categories:a) overachieving smart kids who excel ineverything but are 'nerdy', or not 'nerdy', but actually become something of themselves, and have goals in there life, which are achieved. the bad boys who are into the drugs and the "cruising"... often times they meet one of the good girls,& then have an extended serious relationship fall in love, cut off all ties with their boys become good boys,but then end up fucking up terribly and the relationship ends with heartbreak for both. They can often be referred to as "playas" or "dawgs",who enjoy "cruisin" (usually on places such as DPA) in there "suped up","pimped out" cars, which have become like that because of selling drugs.They also attend clubs every week.Pussy NEVER has a face for these boys, and they probably have attained some sort of sexually transmitted disease, which they continue to spread to all the club whores with their permiscuous behavior. Most are DJ's who "front" like they're good guys, but are, obviously not.And yes, if your lucky, you may find a guy that does want something more than ass, but its rare.""i'm telling you, this is all textbook of long island"" >>long island has two distinct regions:suffolk (rich yuppie) & nassau(""ghetto"" wanna-be city)-but despite all of its resemblences to ghetto inner city wanna-be life and miniature beverly hills(due to the influence of the hamptons and northeast coast of long island),long island & new york as a whole is the only place to be.nowhere else can you go to a club that is OPENING at 5 am and party all night and day long.nowhere else can you see the tunnel, get busted twice in the same nightor see nicole kidman eating dinner aftera blue room performance.nowhere else can you party with cindy crawford and johnny depp at the hamptons CPI club.and nowhere else but long island will you find children so quick to grow up....but hey, it's home to us all and we love it just the same...even though we may not realize it until ourspoiled-brat-yuppie-raised-asses are living in a ""ghetto"' college dorm with no food andonly three packs of ramen to sustain usfor the rest of the semester; we only appreciate it when we are thrown into a harsh environment where daddy's lexus or bmw is no longer accessible & we have to walk a mile down a co-ed hallway to take a shit.'"god i love new york!"' ------------------"Give Junior any three records, and he'll create something greater than the sum of its parts." giggles62@aol.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachel1997 Posted January 30 Report Share Posted January 30 OMG !!! LOL!!!!!!------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfiorellino Posted January 31 Report Share Posted January 31 I swear you should be a sociologist or an anthropologist studying the various cultures of the tri-state area. Anyway I also grew up on Long Island and most of what you said was true. It's also the reason I left and moved to Manhattan. All my friends that stayed on the Island are either married or still living at home with Mom and Dad. The married ones are all putting on weight and starting to lose their hair. While the ones that live at home are really funny thinking they have their own place when in reality they're just living in Mom's basement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest chinagirl Posted January 31 Report Share Posted January 31 Originally posted by homersimpson:I swear you should be a sociologist or an anthropologist studying the various cultures of the tri-state area. Anyway I also grew up on Long Island and most of what you said was true. It's also the reason I left and moved to Manhattan. All my friends that stayed on the Island are either married or still living at home with Mom and Dad. The married ones are all putting on weight and starting to lose their hair. While the ones that live at home are really funny thinking they have their own place when in reality they're just living in Mom's basement.i did not write it somebody emailed it to me. lol. its so true!!------------------"Give Junior any three records, and he'll create something greater than the sum of its parts." giggles62@aol.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
princess0621 Posted January 31 Report Share Posted January 31 That has got to be the most funniest shit I have read and yet so true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saigray Posted January 31 Report Share Posted January 31 Yeah, now I remember why I'm so proud every time some one goes "You're from Long Island???..Naw.." Overall pretty on target, pretty much why I have given myself exactly 3mths to move somewhere else after graduation. Two corrections I would offer:1)The North shore of Nassau is if anything worse than Suffolk in it's imitation of Clueless/Cruel Intentions. Suffolk has it's share of sketchy towns, and quite a bit of hick country between huntington and the hamptons. 2) You left out the catagory of kids who went reverse on the system and either became dirty phishheads (maybe touring on mom's credit card, but unhsaven nonetheless), black eyed metal/goth/grungers, punks, e'd out "ravers" (even if their weren't actually any raves), or just those kids who shopped exclusively at the salvation army all through high school in a refusal to see a mall from the inside. While each type was fragmented, together they count as a catagory and the intensity of their devotion to their outsider status/sub group is a DIRECT result of growing up in a place as warped as LI. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuteboobie Posted January 31 Report Share Posted January 31 hahahahahaha....aahhh how true how true------------------never frown....u dont know when someone is falling in love with ur smile... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
az-tec Posted January 31 Report Share Posted January 31 Since I spent my whole life in LI, I would have to say...................I AGREE %110.that was sooo on point. Whoever wrote that knew exactly what they were talkin about.-aZ------------------And Everything Will Flow....Flow....Flow.... "The Futures So Bright.......I Gotta Wear Shades" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RLQ Posted January 31 Report Share Posted January 31 as much as i say i hate it, i would NEVER want to be anywhere else!did you ever try to hole a converstaion with someone out side of LI & NYC, just on any topic in general, and get fustrated b/c its as if they are from another planet?i know what you mean when you say no where else do kids grow up so fast, talk to someone from some where else about their average weekend agenda and you realize their just beinging to do things that we have been doing since we were like 13,look at it as we are one step ahead!but that has to be one of the most amusing things that i have ever read!Everything you said is 100% true!<3LOL, i needed a good laugh tonight! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mage001 Posted January 31 Report Share Posted January 31 not everyone that lives on L.I. is from here. I used to live in the Bronx. I moved out to LI(the land of shady motherfuckers) a few years ago. You cant trust to many people here. Everyone loves to talk shit behind your back. There are only a few people i call my friends and the rest dont mean shit. when i am in a club, i am ashamed to say were i am from. Cant wait to go back to the BX!---In the Bronx, the stop sighn on my block had bullet holes in it-but at least i knew who my friends were.LI kids will never know "what the deal" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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