jprutig Posted February 10 Report Share Posted February 10 And we were poor too. Why if I wasn't born a boy...I'd havenothing to play with.A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over,there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.If it weren't for pickpockets I'd have no sex life at all.During sex my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Justthe other night she called me from a hotel.One day as I came home early from work...I saw a guyjogging naked. I said to the guy..."Hey buddy...why are you doingthat?" He said..."Because you came home early."It's been a rough day. I got up this morning...put on ashirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and thehandle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were atoaster and a radio.My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she onlyliked me as a friend.My father carries around the picture of the kid who camewith his wallet.When I was born...the doctor came out to the waiting roomand said to my father..."I'm very sorry. We did everything wecould...But he still pulled through.My mother had morning sickness-after I was born.I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a pieceof my finger to my father...He said he wanted more proof.Once when I was lost...I saw a policeman and asked him tohelp me find my parents. I said to him..."Do you think we'll everfind them?" He said..."I don't know kid...there are so many placesthey can hide."My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.I worked in a pet shop and people kept asking how big I'dget.I went to see my doctor, "Doctor, every morning when I getup and look in the mirror...I feel like throwing up; What's wrongwith me?" He said..."I don't know but your eyesight is perfect"I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleepingpills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get somerest------------------you can judge the quality and content of one's character by the way they treat someone that can do nothing for them... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
innuend0 Posted February 10 Report Share Posted February 10 Hahahahah! Man I love Dangerfield.. Thanks so much for a good laugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markeef Posted February 10 Report Share Posted February 10 That was good. damn, I'm still laughing! ------------------stay on TOP, BUT REMAIN FROM THE underground Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twiloman Posted February 10 Report Share Posted February 10 LMAO!! that guy is great!!! i loved him in caddyshack!! hahaha! ------------------"Your not going crazy, your going SANE in a CRAZY world..." aol sn: kshark81 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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